Side effects limit range of activities.

I had not thought about it until my daughter stated in one of her posts on her own blog, The Jenny Life, that colon cancer is not only a deadly disease but its victims encounter embarrassing and humiliating side effects. How true. The surgery is over, the chemo is done but my system is reestablishing normal. 


A week after I stopped maintenance chemo for good I left Arkansas  to travel to Michigan for my 50th high school class reunion and to visit family. It was fun, but it was clouded by my system. I could not seem to get it under control. Under control for me means I may go to the bathroom every few hours or so. I also may have a measure of control, which means I do not have an accident and shit my pants in public. Usually it is a small accident, but there have been times it is bad.


I visited my nephew in Racine and it was great to see he and his wife after all these years. We picked up as though we had never been apart. However, I had to stay close to a bathroom as I was experiencing some slight incontinence so I wear a pad to keep from anything leaking through which is not only embarrassing but could stain someone's furniture.


On to Munising and my class picnic. It was held at a classmate's beautiful summer home on Lake Superior. It was wonderful to see all of my old classmates. We are all in our late 60's now and no one put on any airs. That is over. We just hope to survive another ten years. I was pretty much at ease, no problem, lots of fun with my daughter and we had a good time.


Monday evening the class banquet. I was not at ease, I had no one to sit with and other classmates I was interested in sitting with seem to have grouped up and there was no room. However I sat with some old friends and had an enjoyable dinner. However, at the end of the dinner as the band began to play I had an accident. I was not sure, but I cannot afford to wait. I eased out and went back to my sister's. Sure enough I did have an accident so I missed the social part of the night. I don't dance so it was not big deal, but I would've like to move around and seen some people.


Wednesday was the parade, July 4. We had a float and other vehicles in the parade. I could not control my system. I was not having accidents, but if I did not make a bathroom in a brief amount of time I would have an accident. So I stayed at my sisters.


It was that way the whole trip and when I got home I was not happy. It was a tiring trip, I ended up driving from the U.P. to the Minneapolis area to see a sister who was under the weather then drove all the way to Arkansas in one sitting. It was a bit much. 


Now that I have been home for some weeks my system is getting more even. I have still had some accidents. One day Terry and I must've come down with a bug. I was out of control for much of the day and it wasn't nice. I had several messes to clean up but at least I was home. God knows what I would've done if I was out in public.


So life is OK. I don't hurt anymore when I go to the bathroom but my system is not normal and I guess I will learn to live with the unexpected. It does limit my range of activities and I do have to be more aware of what I eat and the situations I get into. That said, I am a survivor and now I know how thankful I am for every day.