How do you describe?

I woke up at 2:30 AM this morning and had to use the bathroom. As I walked to the facility I all of a sudden lurched forward as though I was going to fall on my face. I did not feel dizzy, but I did feel disoriented. After going to the bathroom I returned to bed and lay down. All of a sudden I became disoriented again, in the new position. Once again I was able to focus on objects, it was not like the room was spinning, but I did feel a little queasy. I got up again and did some head exercises a Dr. had told me about that consist of bending your head from one side then to the other so your inner ear mechanism that contributes to balance gets some exercise. I then stood on one leg with arms outstretched and held that position for half a minute, then the other leg. It is kind of a balance check. I kept having to flex my foot to stay upright, but I was able to maintain that position for a while. In the meantime you get scared.

Strokes can cause that disorientation. My brother Dean suffered a stroke while playing golf. His golfing partner told of the episode that when they got to the locker room at the country club Dean complained of seeing double. Some days later he passed away. My family has a history of strokes so I end up with some fear there. However, I also have a slow heart beat. Yesterday for example when I was in Wal*Mart I used the BP cuff and got a reading of 133/78 but my pulse was 58. The Cardiologist I have seen has told me that some day I may need a pace maker because of that slow heart beat. I have for a long time staggered from time to time when I rise from a prone position to upright, and have been a little unsteady on my feet once and a while, but not too often. My dad, in his later years, talked about walking like a drunken man from time to time, but didn't suffer any ill effects. Still one worries.

I came downstairs to just sit and get stabilized. I seem OK as I write this and my vision is not blurred nor do I feel lightheaded. Jenny, I know you will read this but I am typing this more for a record than anything else, so don't get upset or feel you have to call, although I do enjoy talking to you any time and look forward to hearing your voice.

I also know that people do have equilibrium issues over the years and live just fine. I have a problem with I want to feel perfect and when I don't I begin imagining which is not good for me. I really do feel I'm in pretty good health, I am due for a check up later this summer and will make sure I bring up this episode to the Dr., but I don't know what to make of things now. Perhaps I just sat up too fast and that caused some reaction, because I do feel normal sitting here typing.

As my Dad once told me years ago, sometimes you just can't let things bother you. You have to just go on because that is how life is. It isn't the same for every person. So I'm going back to bed and have a good rest.