Today I had a colonoscopy. It was part of a one year follow-up on my bowel resection. The results were normal, no polyps. In some ways it seems so long ago, in other ways it seems like yesterday. I feel well, I've lost weight, I exercise regularly and find work meaningful. Yet, I feel defective, my body became ill and has betrayed me. I am having a difficult time feeling any great optimism about anything. I find my mind wandering to my own mortality issue. What I need to do is just get on with enjoying my life. My wife and I are financially OK, our health is pretty good, and we are secure.
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