Sunday April 20, 2009

The day in Arkansas was a beauty. Sunny, high in the 70's and some big puffy clouds to provide a little shade, although it wasn't needed. Hummy arrived at the feeder for the first time this year. It is usually about mid-April when they show up. One comes in first and checks out the feeders then must somehow communicate to others. Pretty soon one or two other Hummingbirds will be making the rounds. It is a good thing Terry had the feeder out and waiting.

The Chickadees are secure in their nest. Yesterday we heard a different noise coming from the gourd they call home. Terry and I speculated that perhaps the Mrs. was having difficulty laying the egg. They have nested for a month now, and it is within 8 feet of our front door in a gourd that hangs from the porch rafter.

We got the Peach tree, two Fig trees, four Blueberry bushes and two Raspberry plants in the ground yesterday. They have compost, water and mulch, so we shall see what we can bring forth.

Some grilled wild salmon, couscous with green onions and pimentos for the side dish, and some fried frozen corn to complete a wonderful repast. All in all it concluded a wonderful day.

An Epiphany of Sorts

I just finished reading a book by Dr. Larry Meredith, "Life Before Death." It is a difficult read. One of the contributing reviews was from the former Dallas Quarterback, Don Meredith, the last sentence in the review said, "I didn't understand a word of it."

Dr. Meredith is obviously a well traveled, well read scholar. Parts of the book are filled with references to eastern religions such as Buddhism, and other systems from all over Asia. I had one course in college some 45 years ago on the religions of the world. Obviously a lot of the book was out of my league, however I do not consider myself unintelligent. The book did create some fine moments of discovery and realization that had me thinking for days after completing the reading. That should be the mark of a good book that it effects change and provokes study and thought. This book of Dr. Meredith's did that.

I am sure the book was filled with many points, much I may have missed. But I did come away with three powerful ideas that gave cause for reflection.

The first is Sisyphus. Condemned to roll a boulder to the top of a mountain, just to have it roll down to the bottom day in and day out. On and on forever poor old Sisyphus' task is to roll that boulder up the hill. I remember the parable from my younger years and I felt it was a terrible punishment. To roll a boulder up the mountain just to have it come crashing down again. Yet, Dr. Meredith says in one part of the book that perhaps Sisyphus is happy and perhaps we are in envy of him. I had never thought of Sisyphus as happy.

Then I remember times in my own life where the daily grind took on a Sisyphian feature. When I was drinking and life held no new excitement, the only escape was in a glass or a bottle. Other times when the crush of loneliness and fear held me in a mean grip the only thing I could do was grit my teeth and wait for night to fall. Now my tasks are light, but you know, it is still like Sisyphus, I get up in the morning, face a task and come home at night. There is the line of a rock song that goes, "And when the morning light comes, I get up and do it again, Amen." Perhaps Sisyphus isn't such a tragic figure after all, perhaps that is what life is about, toiling at some labor day in and day out. Work can be fun you know!

The second point I came away with is the importance of love and passion in life. Without it, life is drab, and Dr. Meredith points out we were not meant to live a drab life. Life is not something to be gotten through, we only experience it once. As the old saying goes, I shall not pass this way again. I am not Dr. Meredith, I have no urge to travel the world and see sacred dances of faraway places and rituals I cannot relate to. I have come to understand that God is not to be sought. Life is not a search. If you look about you the creator is here. God is not embedded in man, the world with man as a part of it is embedded in God. We don't have to search the world over, we can stand still, open our hearts, our eyes and our minds and experience God at any moment. When I quit this earth I will join God, for God is ALL.

The third point is related to the second. At the end of the book Dr. Meredith relates a story about his discovery of ten commandments. They are refreshing, they are uncomplicated, they are enlightening, but they are his, not His. Throughout the book Dr. Meredith talks about eroticism, passion, love, children, all fine qualities in life. None to take offense at, so it is not surprising that Dr. Meredith restates his philosophy in his commandments. They are worthy statements. However, the real important point is the last paragraph of the book where Dr. Meredith relates an old campfire parable about our pilgrimage to the top of The Mountain. Each pilgrim treads his own path, the view down the mountain is not the same for any one pilgrim. Some pilgrim's are apparently still, sitting and enjoying the sights, others are on the move. The point is every path, by every pilgrim is unique and I may not force my path on anyone else. This from a Methodist minister.

So, yes, I liked the book, I recommend it. For those of us not so well read or traveled it will challenge our visions. Then again, isn't that also the mark of a good book?

The Secret to Living

I took my morning walk and as usual I had a discussion with God. I talked and he listened, then I tried to listen and he spoke to me in his language. Sometimes I understand, other times I remain as confused as always. My life has always been one of trying to understand and come to terms with the entire process of living. Early on I did not have good coping skills, recovery from alcoholism has given me some good tools but it has not removed the confusion that exists some of the time.

This morning I recalled that it was in February of 1967 that I graduated from the University of Wisconsin - Madison. At the time companies were coming on campus in the droves interviewing and recruiting new employees, business had fallen in love with college graduates. I interviewed with every organization that came to campus that fit my general knowledge. I was not an accountant nor trained in a specific profession therefore my opportunity to interview was pretty wide open.

I interviewed with Goodyear Tire and was invited to Dayton, OH to interview at the plant seeking prospective supervisors. During the day I had an opportunity to sit and talk with the plant manager. Forty-one years later I still recall part of our conversation. The PM asked me if I had my choice of one thing in life what would it be? I remember being deeply troubled by the fact that I did not have an answer, seemed to me having weathered the storms of college I should be prepared for such a question. I have since found out that this is a deeply troubling question, simple in the asking, profound in the answering.

After wading through ideas such as health, wealth, success, good marriage and other ideas that come to mind I was stumped. If I said health is all important the Plant Manager simply had to ask, "haven't you ever seen someone with severe health problems who seemed happy?" Obviously I had, one of the high school students I knew came down with polio and was confined to and iron lung yet showed a positive outlook. I know a man with heart problems and he was going about life as though he hadn't a care in the world. Every idea I came up with the Plant Manager could defeat with a simple question, haven't you seen someone with that trouble yet they seemed to overcome the problem? Finally the Plant Manager said, what about Peace of Mind?

It has taken me a lot of years to ponder this statement. I've had to go through severe work stress, a failed marriage, alcoholism, major illness, minor illness and a lot of psychological pain to understand this statement. The understanding has not come all of a sudden. Understanding the importance of Peace of Mind has grown like a plant. I've had good times of warmth, love and nourishment, and I've had times I felt all alone, in pain and afraid. The interesting thing is when I've felt all alone, in pain and afraid were times of emotional or psychological imaginings. The physical pain I've felt I've always felt there would be health after recovery. The emotional pain is much more frightening.

I do not think persons who achieve Peace of Mind are always up, positive, and feeling good about life. Situations arise that trouble us, but I now feel that things will be OK, that this shall pass and somehow life will go on. I realize that someday life will go on but I will not be a part of it, and that is OK too. The fact is acceptance is a major part of Peace of Mind.

Acceptance however does not mean giving up. Acceptance does not mean that we should not try. Usually what breeds nonacceptance is we are not getting our way, what we want. I have learned through my alcoholism that I can only account for and control myself, others and situations involving others are outside of my control. That does not mean I should insulate myself from others to enjoy what I want, but it does mean that I can accept others and love them even though I may not agree with their behavior, values, or actions. Acceptance does not mean I am a victim, being a victim is unacceptable. Acceptance means doing the best you can, giving others space and try to adopt Peace of Mind as the reward for acceptance.

This is way too long already. I'll quit here for now.

Posted by yoopertom at 8:05 AM

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