Gingrich Wins South Carolina

I watched some of Newt Gingrich's victory speech last night and heard the cries of USA, USA and the humorous one of "A Newt Beginning." Several people have asked me could I vote for Newt. Frankly, yes I could. Could I vote for Obama, frankly yes I could. They certainly don't sound alike and obviously have different ways of viewing the same issue. However, Newt has in the past been a fiscal conservative but a pragmatic progressive. I think he articulates good judgement on the immigration issue. We could not stand the economic impact of losing 14 million people who fill jobs none of the rest of us don't want. Many of the industries in our area cultivate Latino workers because the generally exhibit and outstanding work ethic and work very hard. The fact that some of employers take advantage of them is wrong, but they are a good labor market.

I don't have a big problem with the Health Care Plan, I'm 67 and want health care. I think everyone should participate in the premiums. I think it is patently unfair that some people in good health opt out of health insurance and then when they have an issue use the emergency room and I end up paying for their care. Baloney, we all should be in that pool.

Most economic writers agree, the president has little to do with the economy. In fact, the slide happened years ago and if we remember the end of the GW tenure in the White House he proposed and got passed the first real stimulus package. When you read about how to solve recessions and depressions most experts agree that governments have to go on a spending spree to get people back into the market. It is said that 70% of our recovery in the economy will be lead by the average consumer. We need to get money into their hands so they can spend The conservatives want to put the money in the hands of business and rich folks who aren't going to hire people until the economy expands. The money is in the wrong place.

Finally the issue of Newt's personal background. He's been married three times. Apparently his second wife has some ax to grind. I am not so sure we have to have a pasteurized President. Maybe a guy who has stumbled, tripped, been arrogant, prideful, selfish, and hit his head on the bedpost a few times might be the right kind of guy to lead this country. I sure as hell couldn't cast the first stone. I also don't believe the President has to line up with the country on every issue. I'm Pro-Choice. I don't think that is an inherent contradiction with family values. After all, what are family values. Ten years ago 60 some percent of the folks between 18 - 25 were married, now only about 40 some percent. Divorce is rampant, marriage is falling off and so is the birthrate. So family values are different today. Newt may fit that new paradigm better than Romney or Obama.

So yes, I could be comfortable voting for either Newt or Barack. I just wish we had some better names, what the hell happened to Tony, or Jack, of Frank, or Bill, or Ron. Christ, I feel like I'm voting for a lizard or a belch.

How do I feel about 2011

CNN's question today was how do you feel about 2011 ending? The two answers were "I'll miss it", and "Good riddance." I chose good riddance. 2011 began with me in a great deal of distress. My digestive tract was acting up and I was encountering rectal bleeding, pain, cramps and bloating. A day did not go by without me encountering all of the above symptoms. I was depressed and at my wit's end. My thinking was, "If this is going to be my quality of life going forward, I don't want it." I finally got my family Dr. to refer me to a GI guy, Dr. Hightower. The initial diagnosis was IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and the treatment was a muscle relaxant which did nothing and an anti-depressant called Lexapro. I was trying to watch what I ate, but everything upset my system. I was taking eight fiber pills daily to try and keep my stool soft so it would pass without irritation, however while a little better I still had a lot of pain, difficulty on going to the bathroom and bleeding.

Dr. Hightower recommended a colonoscopy, but we both agreed that since I had a colonoscopy a year earlier at the VA in Poplar Bluff and that report was everything was normal that it must just be IBS. It turns out IBS's greatest catalyst is stress, and I was under a great deal of stress because of how badly I felt. The Lexapro began to kick in after a month and I could actually feel the dark cloud lifting, however it still didn't do much for the pain and symptoms I was encountering.

Finally after four months of doctoring we did another colonoscopy. You can imagine how both of us felt when Dr. Hightower told me that there was a suspicious mass at the sight of my previous surgery and I would need surgery again. The son-of-bitch at VA missed it. It would not have made any difference in my needing surgery, but I would not have gone through such hell and have the problem taken care of a year earlier. The bastard.

So began a tough trip for Terry and I. The treatment consisted of concurrent radiation and chemo. After the radiation and chemo six weeks passed and I had a collectomy, which is a resection with a iliostomy to allow the surgically repaired area time to heal. So I spent ten weeks wearing a bag which proved to have its own problems. My skin became irritated and there was nothing I could do to heal it as there was the constant presence of fecal matter. I had accidents where the bag prematurely leaked, in public at times. However, I did not experience any bloating, cramping or bleeding so that was a plus and encouraging.

Finally on October 13 the reversal surgery was performed that reattached my small intestine to my large intestine and the plumbing system was back in action. Now came successive periods of diarrhea, an almost constant flow of fecal matter that irritate the skin around my anus and proved to be extremely painful, that lasted about two weeks. Then it evolved into more formed stools but a mess to keep one self clean. Finally after about a month of that things started to get normal. In the meantime I was feeling good. The pain, cramping, irritation and bloating were gone. Today, I feel absolutely great. I go to the bathroom quite frequently because my rectum is gone and what comes down the large intestine wants to get out. However, I am comfortable when I go, I eat pretty much everything I want. When I do eat rich foods I will have a BM episode that might last for an hour or two, but no pain, no discomfort, and I now say I have a teflon ass, nothing sticks to it.

So this is my 2011. I say good riddance, but that is also bittersweet. My wife put up with an enormous burden, ME! She hurt as I did and she cared for me completely. The Dr.s were superb and caring, I could not have received better treatment.

In addition, two of my employees succumbed to cancer. I worked with these people, I knew their families, and we like one another. So the emotional upheaval of my condition, the loss of two co-workers, and the devastating effect of ovarian cancer on another of my employees who is surviving quite well today, all took a physical and psychological toll. In addition, right at the end of the year a lady I've worked with for ten years announced she was leaving our organization for a better opportunity. I wish her will, she deserves it. However, she and I were a tight team for ten years and I will miss that relationship terribly.

So, good riddance 2011. I hope 2012 brings a measure of peace and stability. I sure could use it.

Christmas Past

Since chemo/radiation, surgery and reversal are now behind me I am feeling great. One of the things I have noticed is a revival of my spirit and ambition. I am not sitting as often as I have in the past several years. I am tackling some projects that I would've let stack up. I just feel my emotional well being has improved. Then I realized that a year ago when I went to the GI doctor about my bowel issues he said I exhibited classic irritable bowel syndrome symptoms. The main treatment for the problem is an anti-depressant, in this case a drug called Lexapro. I noticed a  year ago that after about thirty days my mood seemed to improve even though I was still experiencing severe bloating, gas and pain. Now the cause of those symptoms is gone, but I still take the drug and I think it generally has improved my outlook.

I say all this because I had an excellent Christmas. I had fun with my kids as best you can from the wide separation we have. I had a ball shopping for Terry and selecting gifts she can use and have fun with. I enjoyed the family "gathering" yesterday and was more of a host than I have been in the past. So I thank God for the health, the mental health, and the opportunity at a second chance.

God Bless us All, Everyone!

The Passing of a Friend

I stopped by the hospice yesterday to see a man I have worked with for several years and count as friend. Ten months ago he was healthy, looking forward to a new semester of teaching and interested in life. He had come through many months of clinical depression that was treated using shock therapy and was well on the road to being productive. He started to put on large amounts of weight rapidly, like two pounds a day.

He was diagnosed with and inoperable tumor in the region of his heart involving a kidney and liver. Within weeks of diagnosis he ended up in the hospice last May where he has languished since.

When I was there yesterday it is obvious he is entering the final stages of the illness. He looks wasted to some degree, pale, weak and is disoriented. His speech is slurred and difficult to understand and his thought process is confused and not easy to follow. He is an engineer, a musician, and intellectual. He is well read, fascinated with the Civil War and those times in society. Yet here he is, his light is winking out. How helpless I feel and how frustrated it makes one to see this slow degradation of a fine person. Why him, how did nature pick him, what did he deserve to have this terrible disease visited upon him. I don't know, these are questions without answer, but the plague me.

Death Squads

I was schedule to begin a maintenance chemo plan yesterday, Monday, Nov. 14, 2011. It was postponed because the insurance company wanted to review the plan to see if they would pay for it. Today, the lady who is the case manager for the insurance administrator called and said my maintenance chemo plan was turned down for payment. She said I should wait until the Dr. reviews the decision and let him either appeal the decision or come up with a new plan that will meet with approval.

A year ago or so when the democrats pushed through a huge health plan a number of conservative leaders said if the administration of healthcare were turned over to the government we would have "death squads" who would be deciding who lived or died. Well guess what, they are in effect already in place in the private sector.

If I were in desperate straits health-wise I would be extremely upset. However, my prognosis for my condition is very good. There is a 95% chance of full recovery. However, because I had a recurrence of cancer I am also at increased risk for further recurrences. This maintenance program is aimed at reducing that risk.

I have a coworker and friend lying in a hospice in Jonesboro. Ten months ago he was the paragon of health until he started putting on about 2 lbs of weight per day. Within a two week period he went from healthy to deathly ill. They found a tumor had invaded his right kidney, was invading his liver and was in the venus cava area of his heart. It was judged to be inoperable and he was immediately sent home with a horrible diagnosis and no idea of any palliative  care that could be provided. He came home and immediately went to a hospice where he has lain since last May. The family Dr. was so upset with his condition that he contacted M.D. Anderson in Houston to see if they would take him and render a second opinion. The insurance company flat refused to pay. Could he have been saved? Who knows, in the meantime he lies in a bed in a comfortable setting waiting to die.

Seems like we owe ourselves more than just a one time shot. In my case, I'm not too upset. Something will probably be done because the insurance company also recommends maintenance therapy. However, we are betting my life on this. Suppose five years from now my cancer comes back and we find out that had I had this "gold standard" treatment it would not have come back. Then the death squad becomes that for real.

Healthcare

It was recently announced the Supreme Court will hear the case concerning the new healthcare bill next February or March. A decision will be rendered in June, just in time for the election. One of the main sticking points is the mandated insurance coverage where most Americans will have to have insurance or suffer some financial penalty.

The argument against the provision is we should not force people to have to carry insurance and impose a financial burden on those who do not want insurance. A good argument. 

However, when these people who opt out of insurance have an accident or are hit with a sudden illness they go to the emergency room and may not be refused treatment. So the cost of that treatment then falls on the rest of us in terms of increased premiums, or taxpayer involvement.

So what are out options? We could refuse medical treatment to those who do not have health insurance. Think about the enormous moral burden we would place on our healthcare providers. Plus we don't refuse people help in the country. This country was founded on independence, but people still came together to render aid when people were in times of crisis or need.

We could bill the person's receiving treatment. However collecting can be a problem prolonged by litigation, abandonment, bankruptcy, or other means of dodging one's responsibility.

Or we can share in the premium cost with everyone participating thus reducing the over all cost for everyone and people would then have assurance of care in times or need or injury. 

I opt for mandated participation. This is one area where I think people's self-serving decisions would hurt the common good of the people.

Odd results

Several years ago I started a family newsletter called Notes from a Little Log Cabin in the Arkansas woods. It began two summers ago when I attended a Dean Family memorial which was my Mother's family, so it was my Mom and aunts and uncles related by blood to her. I had not seen several of my cousins in over 40 years and had lost contact with many. I thought we cousins shared our early years up into our teens in some cases and it would be a shame to lose contact and knowledge of how their lives unfolded. So I started the newsletter to try and keep in contact.

At first the newsletter were simply stories about my life, Terry and I in our log cabin in Arkansas and our rustic life style. However on occasion I would get a brief email about some cousin or family member which I would include in the news letter and send on its way. It appears as time has gone on that there is more and more involvement in the newsletter and so far every family member has commented in a positive fashion that it is nice to know what is going on with the family.

Recently my brother-in-law, Chap Smathers passed away and that was a significant loss for many of our family as he was well known in the family and well loved. My mailing list was humming with news of his health decline and eventual passing. In fact, several family members relied on the newsletter or distribution list for news of what was happening.

Since that time I have had more and more contact with family members and now have a backlog of news items to pass along. So my endeavor to keep contact among the immediate family members seems to be paying off. I have also been pleasantly surprised to have two of my nephews asked to be added to the family distribution list. They are a generation or two younger and I thought there would not be much interest, but apparently I was wrong. So on I shall type and we'll see what the next few years bring.