Ft. Hood suicides

An article on the CNN website today discussed four military suicides last week at Ft. Hood, TX. This apparently brings the number of suicides to fourteen this year plus the shootings of military personnel by a radical Major. One of the suicides was apparently a murder-suicide, one an army private and the last a Master Sergant who had been injured during a tour in the mid-East. I cannot help but wonder if some of the reason isn't the fact that their participation in the military operation has no practical or realizable outcome. I am amazed that American parents continue to let their sons and daugthers participate in a military action that has no measure of success. It isn't like we are going to beat and destroy an evil. We are trying to establish a democracy in a region that does not tolerate democracy very well. So meaningless participation in a military action that has no satisfactory outcome other than political could make a person despondent. Especially one severely injured.

What do you do?

Our dog, Lily, appears to be dying. She has stopped eating, she drinks very little water and hardly has the strength to stand let alone walk. Yet she went outside and tinkled, then actually had a small BM, and then stood for minutes. I finally carried her back to the porch and she was able to walk in. She is now lying near the water dish, but I think she just doesn't have the energy to go any further.

She cannot talk to me. I now recognize that when she tries to move her back legs she wants to move so I pick her up so she can stand. Earlier this afternoon we sat on the floor near one another. I stroked her head softly, I rubbed her ears and fondled her neck. I whispered to her that we loved her, she was a good dog, and if she had to go it was OK. Over and over I whispered that phrase. At one point she turned her head toward me and gazed deep into my eyes and held that gaze for sometime. It was not a hurt gaze, or a scared gaze, it was and understanding gaze. I tried to tell Terry at lunch, but I couldn't get it out. I can write about it, but I can't tell my wife yet. I breakdown and can't talk. Pets should not be so lovable. It breaks your heart.

But I shall continue to talk to her, to stroke her head, to offer food, to stand her if she wants to stand and carry her back from her trip outdoors. Whatever she needs I'll provide if I can understand her want. She does not appear to be in pain. She does not appear to be very uncomfortable, no wheezing, no coughing, no labored breaths. She actually seems quite tranquil. I keep hoping that I will take her a food offering and she'll take it. I keep hoping she will take a long drink of water. I keep hoping she will be OK. She is only one and a half years old, she has rabbits to chase, squirrels to chase, and a sister to be played with. I don't think she will get to do that, and that is profoundly sad.

A long reading project is done!

I have felt for some time I wanted to know more about the founding of our country. I've read some history books from that period and read articles that have provided information on the times. However, about two and a half years ago I took on the task of reading the Federalist Papers. Mostly written by Hamilton, Madison and Jay I looked forward to being enlightened concerning the intent our founders had in creating the constitution of our country. The Federalist Papers are a series of articles published in the New York papers explaining the intent of the authors of the constitution as there was a widespread debate raging in the country over the upcoming election of ratify the constitution.

It was tough reading. The English language of the day does not read easily, the sentence structure is confusing, and there far more references the the latter or the preceding that left me having to try and go back and see which was which. The Federalist Papers are a wonderful sleep aid. I tried to read a letter in one sitting, sometimes that was too much. I am done, just finished a week or so ago. I feel a sense of triumph in having stuck with it. I feel a sense of disappointment in that I don't feel much more knowledgeable than I did before. I also feel relief in that I no longer have to pick that book out of a sense of task, but to reread upon occasion for understanding.

I think now I shall look for a text that helps me understand the writings and the context in which they were written.

What did I learn?

The men who wrote the constitution were a strong group. Their values and opinions were diverse and ran deep. The founding fathers were astute when it came to politics, human behavior and very aware of systems of government in place in other parts of the world. I think they had a strong sense of evolution of issues and left parts of the constitution vague for that very purpose. Succeeding generations would interpret and make their own sense of things.

I do not think these men were states rights folks and wanted a necessarily small federal government, but I think that had an idea of what they could propose and successfully pass the electorate at the time. I think they showed profound wisdom when they argued that the federal government needed to be responsible for making treaties, enforcing treaties, providing for the common defense and had to right to raise funds to provide for the services provided.

I found their reasoning for using trial by jury in most cases to be most profound. Juries are to provide a check on the corruption of the judges, and the judges are a check on the corruption of the jury. They men understood human nature and our tendency to always act in our own best interests.

I intend to go back and study further. I want first hand knowledge that I have developed instead of assholes interpreting the constitution for me. I am glad that I am done. I do have a sense of accomplishment even though I don't feel a great sense of knowledge, but at least I know where to look.

Politics

I get so tired of politics. Yet, I learned years ago that politics results from allocating resources. There is never enough, the needs of a group, community, city, state and finally the country are so great that resources are always allocated. Anytime you allocate resources you end up vying for your share. Therefore, political maneuvering results trying to gain your share or greater of the resources you want.

What are these resources? Everything. Electrical power, water, land, money, food, air, transportation. Everything we use or want is a resource to be expended. Health care, insurance, automobiles, fuel sources, and housing are all wants that require the use of resources to fill the need.

So, I guess politics will always be a factor to be reckoned with. I hope to reduce my dependency on politics. In a few years when I retire Terry and I hope to work our land more efficiently to yield more food crops that reduce our dependency on store bought supplies. There are a lot of things to consider, storage, what types of crops to grow, and improving our care of our crops far beyond what we do now. The problem is we are growing old. The energy and stamina that once was present is diminished and interest wanes over time. Yet year after year Terry revitalizes our flower beds and we have a nice display of flowers, shrubs and plant variety that is pleasing to the eye. Perhaps without the requirement to leave the homestead daily to go to work we shall have more time to expend on our land without over taxing our own personal resources.

I look forward to the challenge.

Swearing politicians

An article in Time talked about how politicians are caught using some type of swear word and how they try to control their use of the language. I say good for them. I know Joe Biden is a democrat. I do enjoy hearing him speak though. Not speeches on topics but when he spoke at Ted Kennedy's funeral it was warm, witty, personal and you knew how much he thought of Ted and the rest of the Kennedys. It seems to me that there are two types of swearing: 1. that which is meant to outrage, offend, or just gross us out; and 2. that which adds to, embellishes or helps make a strong point.

I swear. My daughters have been known to utter a word or two. I think when we smack our thumb with a hammer one of the best natural pain relievers is a string of foul obscenities and curse words that tend to pull some pain from the body and dissipate it into the atmosphere.

There is an emphasis to "hell no" that does not exist in a simple no. There is a point of emphasis that is expanded when one says, "what the fuck is that?" Among comrades there can be a warmth expressed that goes beyond just the words when I might say, "well you old bastard, you did good!" There is an intimacy to that kind of statement that others may not achieve. There may be some one on the fringe of the conversation who say to themselves, "I will have arrived when he calls me an old bastard."

Now I have some relatives who tend to use cursing and obscenities for shock value. That is a misuse of the the art of cursing. That is ignorance of language that allows for that kind of expression. It also is ignorance of being able to express themselves in a fashion that could be done better without shocking the pants off some little old ladies who overhear such and outburst.

Swear for effect, not out of ignorance or inability to convey your meaning in a more acceptable fashion. As for politicians swearing, I think it provides a sense of reality that otherwise would not exist. It gives us a measure of the person's passion. So I hope they continue to embellish their style with a few well chosen words. Damn right!

An Odd Day

I did not feel to chipper last week. I had some digestive track problems that actually made me feel ill. I got past that by Wednesday morning last, but my back was sore because of the work I had done the week before. It was on the mend though.

Then comes Friday. I woke up about 1:30 AM perspiring. That is unusual for me. I got up, used the bathroom and came back to bed. All of a sudden my heart was beating irregularly. It felt like an A-fib episode which I find completely aggravating. I don't feel threatened other than if it persists it means a trip to the hospital to get straightened out, and if it persists long enough it means I may have to take blood thinners the rest of my life. So tension runs high if I have an episode.

I kept feeling my pulse and could get no regular beat. I did feel the telltale flutter or pressure under my breast bone. However, I did not feel fatigued, out of breath, or weak which are also common symptoms of and A-fib attack. So I got up and monitored the condition. I took an extra rythmole pill as the cardiologist had suggested. All of a sudden my heart rate zoomed up to 120 bpm. That is unusual for me. I take so much medication that slows my heart down that 90 is high for me. The other thing that happened was the fluttering in my chest stopped. However, upon checking my pulse I still seemed to have an irregular rate, but now it was fast. I got up to 130 bpm.

The night passed and as day broke, my heart was going too fast and it was difficult to get steady pulse, but I actually felt pretty good. I could not feel the high pulse rate. So I decided to go to work. The day passed but my heart rate stayed elevated until about 4 PM when it seemed to drop some. Then the fluttery sensation seemed to come back, but more like pvcs instead of A-fib. I could detect the telltale "skip" in the heart beat indicative of pvcs. So I wasn't worried, pvcs don't kill you.

When I got home a little after five I did feel tired from the long day. I checked my bp and it was good, 139/85 but the pulse was 128. As long as my BP didn't go up too high I felt things were OK. I lay on the bed after dinner and rested. About 7 PM I noticed a nice strong heart rhythm and the pulse rate had dropped to 62. BP was good, in fact is was 111/72. So I chalked up the day to a different day and still feel fine as of the writing of this blog some 20 hours later.

Ain't life a hoot?

Oh Rand

What has Rand Paul stirred up? Actually not much. There are many people who hold varying degrees of Mr. Paul's philosophy. I have a friend who told me that he believes that if a group of people wanted to live in a community where it was OK to shoot one another if offended they could. Wow! He was serious. He followed up with the question: "Who would want to live in such a place?" Almost as a way of excusing his extremism. If the federal government takes the right to regulate citizen's behavior then as an article written by Tamar Jacoby for CNN says then could the government regulate what men might wear in public. Could we outlaw mustaches? It comes to a matter of degree doesn't it?

One of Ms. Jacoby"s strongest arguments is that the Civil Rights Act of 1875, yes Victoria, there was a Civil Rights Act in 1875, was ignored by citizens of the United States. The law banned discrimination "in public places such as inns, and public conveyances on land and water." To me that is a fatal argument to those that would propose no government interference. I suppose one could say, the government should not interfere in private matters. To some degree that is already true. I do not have to open my house to anyone of any race, gender, creed or religious affiliation. That is not what government is about though.

What we are really talking about here is human behavior. If we had designated an area where killing of your fellow man was legal, that you could live their as long as you could survive without penalty there would be people who would attempt the lifestyle. How would you handle the situation where late in the evening a disgruntled spouse drove his/her spouse into that area, murdered him/her and then left the area to return to their lives without any penalty because of where the killing took place. I guess then the local government would have to place restrictions on who could become a citizen of such an area. Now a government entity is regulating my behavior.

What makes the Federal government's regulation so abhorrent that people would believe a state, county or community could do any better. How do I know when I travel across this grand country the laws that are in effect in the various areas. I guess posting a listing of the local laws outside of town would be a good way, then I can stop at the state, county, or city limits and determine whether or not I wanted to enter the area.

You can see that these Libertarian arguments end up short. They are very similar to Free Market arguments in economics. Yet, the idea that people would resist socially repressive actions just isn't borne out in reality. We deem pornography as being socially offensive yet porn sites get the greatest number of "hits" of any website on the system. We find the news that "sells" tends to portray the dark side of human nature. Look at the so called "reality" shows on TV. Often they show human behavior at its worst. Bad Boy, Bad Boy.

Collectively we say how could a person beat of child or a spouse, yet we are riveted by the images. Some of our most popular sports rely on mayhem for their main attraction, the NFL, NHL, rodeos, and the infamous sport of wrassling and no holds barred fighting. I find it hard to believe that we would be so self-regulating that we could tolerate a wide open society.

So, while Rand Paul's statement about the Civil Rights Act of 1964 are extreme, what about the fact that to discriminate is just wrong. What about the fact that abusing one's spouse, child or pet is just wrong. Allowing companies to have unfettered access to capital and pay their employees millions of dollars in bonus when their actions damn near put the economy under is wrong. Allowing some people to refuse to buy insurance, yet use my money when they have an emergency is just plain wrong.

It isn't wrong to wish for Utopia. Wouldn't it be nice. Too often though, people who dream such thought don't think of what happens when the people living in Utopia don't behave in a Utopian manner.