Meandering Thoughts

Are We Teaching Hate?

2012-01-29T18:06:00.001-06:00

My daughter Jenny has a blog, the Jenny Life. It is good. She is creating a phenomenal history for her children as most of the articles include pictures and a description of activities the family has participated in. I cannot imagine the value to those kids in 20 or 25 years. From time to time she posts an article that gets me thinking, probably far more or deeper than I should. A recent article is titled the exact title of this blog, Are We Teaching Hate? The gist of Jenny's blog is she was concerned that a book that her daughter brought home about MLK might awaken in her mind the fact that Blacks look different than White, Latinos or Asians. There were pictures from the civil rights era showing dogs attacking civil rights marchers, water cannons being turned on protesters and other pictures showing the tenor of the times. I believe Jenny believes that her children don't see Black, Brown, or Yellow. I do not know if and/or when children notice we are different one from another. I never had the opportunity. I grew up in a small town in northern Michigan, we had no TV, at least not until I was twelve years old. News of the world was simply not known to me. So I was naive.

As I moved on I learned. I spent the better part of Friday evenings at college talking with a black librarian named Mr. Scott who took the time to talk about the similarities in our families, black and white not the differences. He told me of the social culture of blacks and that in many ways it was learned just as white people learn their social culture.

I took part in college wide discussions and programs on civil rights and the right of equality. Nigger was a word I thought of from time to time, but it did not come out of my mouth. It is kind of like we learn all those words we associate with prejudice, stereotypes and hate, Kike, Mick, Wop, Dago, Spic, Chink, Zipperhead, Slant eyed, Jap, and on. Dustin Hoffman in a 1974 film titled :Lenny" played Lenny Bruce, the idol of none other than Richard Pryor. In one scene Lenny is playing in a smoke filled club and starts saying, "Are there any Kikes in here, any Niggers, how about some Wops or Mick. Any Spic's." He zeroes in on a black man and his date sitting at a table, and he says again, "How about some Niggers, you a Nigger there?" The Black man is infuriated, humiliated and about ready to pounce when all of a sudden Lenny says, "I wish we would use these words and make them part of our everyday vocabulary so they become acceptable. Perhaps then a black child might not run home from school crying because she was called one of those terrible names."

Point made, point taken.

We all have prejudices. We all have stereotypes. They are taught us by being around our parents, our community, our teachers, and those we grow up with. Do we teach hate, We can.. We can teach it in our homes, we can teach it in our schools, we can teach it in our churches, and we display it in our actions. I think prejudices, stereotypes and differences between people need to be discussed and talked about. I think we need to emphasize that we are truly equal, I can use any other human blood in my body for a transfusion. Race plays no part in that. We can fall in love with people from different races. We owe it to ourselves to understand our prejudices and stereotypes so that when we come up against one we can make a choice. For if we make a decision about a person based on race, color, creed, religion, etc., without thought we fall victim to our prejudices and stereotypes and deny ourselves the opportunity to have a wonderful human experience.

Values are learned close to home and at a young age. Our values change over the years as we grow and mature, but our beginnings are right in front of us.

Gingrich Wins South Carolina

2012-01-22T15:09:00.000-06:00

I watched some of Newt Gingrich's victory speech last night and heard the cries of USA, USA and the humorous one of "A Newt Beginning." Several people have asked me could I vote for Newt. Frankly, yes I could. Could I vote for Obama, frankly yes I could. They certainly don't sound alike and obviously have different ways of viewing the same issue. However, Newt has in the past been a fiscal conservative but a pragmatic progressive. I think he articulates good judgement on the immigration issue. We could not stand the economic impact of losing 14 million people who fill jobs none of the rest of us don't want. Many of the industries in our area cultivate Latino workers because the generally exhibit and outstanding work ethic and work very hard. The fact that some of employers take advantage of them is wrong, but they are a good labor market.

I don't have a big problem with the Health Care Plan, I'm 67 and want health care. I think everyone should participate in the premiums. I think it is patently unfair that some people in good health opt out of health insurance and then when they have an issue use the emergency room and I end up paying for their care. Baloney, we all should be in that pool.

Most economic writers agree, the president has little to do with the economy. In fact, the slide happened years ago and if we remember the end of the GW tenure in the White House he proposed and got passed the first real stimulus package. When you read about how to solve recessions and depressions most experts agree that governments have to go on a spending spree to get people back into the market. It is said that 70% of our recovery in the economy will be lead by the average consumer. We need to get money into their hands so they can spend The conservatives want to put the money in the hands of business and rich folks who aren't going to hire people until the economy expands. The money is in the wrong place.

Finally the issue of Newt's personal background. He's been married three times. Apparently his second wife has some ax to grind. I am not so sure we have to have a pasteurized President. Maybe a guy who has stumbled, tripped, been arrogant, prideful, selfish, and hit his head on the bedpost a few times might be the right kind of guy to lead this country. I sure as hell couldn't cast the first stone. I also don't believe the President has to line up with the country on every issue. I'm Pro-Choice. I don't think that is an inherent contradiction with family values. After all, what are family values. Ten years ago 60 some percent of the folks between 18 - 25 were married, now only about 40 some percent. Divorce is rampant, marriage is falling off and so is the birthrate. So family values are different today. Newt may fit that new paradigm better than Romney or Obama.

So yes, I could be comfortable voting for either Newt or Barack. I just wish we had some better names, what the hell happened to Tony, or Jack, of Frank, or Bill, or Ron. Christ, I feel like I'm voting for a lizard or a belch.

How do I feel about 2011

2011-12-31T09:25:00.000-06:00

CNN's question today was how do you feel about 2011 ending? The two answers were "I'll miss it", and "Good riddance." I chose good riddance. 2011 began with me in a great deal of distress. My digestive tract was acting up and I was encountering rectal bleeding, pain, cramps and bloating. A day did not go by without me encountering all of the above symptoms. I was depressed and at my wit's end. My thinking was, "If this is going to be my quality of life going forward, I don't want it." I finally got my family Dr. to refer me to a GI guy, Dr. Hightower. The initial diagnosis was IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and the treatment was a muscle relaxant which did nothing and an anti-depressant called Lexapro. I was trying to watch what I ate, but everything upset my system. I was taking eight fiber pills daily to try and keep my stool soft so it would pass without irritation, however while a little better I still had a lot of pain, difficulty on going to the bathroom and bleeding.

Dr. Hightower recommended a colonoscopy, but we both agreed that since I had a colonoscopy a year earlier at the VA in Poplar Bluff and that report was everything was normal that it must just be IBS. It turns out IBS's greatest catalyst is stress, and I was under a great deal of stress because of how badly I felt. The Lexapro began to kick in after a month and I could actually feel the dark cloud lifting, however it still didn't do much for the pain and symptoms I was encountering.

Finally after four months of doctoring we did another colonoscopy. You can imagine how both of us felt when Dr. Hightower told me that there was a suspicious mass at the sight of my previous surgery and I would need surgery again. The son-of-bitch at VA missed it. It would not have made any difference in my needing surgery, but I would not have gone through such hell and have the problem taken care of a year earlier. The bastard.

So began a tough trip for Terry and I. The treatment consisted of concurrent radiation and chemo. After the radiation and chemo six weeks passed and I had a collectomy, which is a resection with a iliostomy to allow the surgically repaired area time to heal. So I spent ten weeks wearing a bag which proved to have its own problems. My skin became irritated and there was nothing I could do to heal it as there was the constant presence of fecal matter. I had accidents where the bag prematurely leaked, in public at times. However, I did not experience any bloating, cramping or bleeding so that was a plus and encouraging.

Finally on October 13 the reversal surgery was performed that reattached my small intestine to my large intestine and the plumbing system was back in action. Now came successive periods of diarrhea, an almost constant flow of fecal matter that irritate the skin around my anus and proved to be extremely painful, that lasted about two weeks. Then it evolved into more formed stools but a mess to keep one self clean. Finally after about a month of that things started to get normal. In the meantime I was feeling good. The pain, cramping, irritation and bloating were gone. Today, I feel absolutely great. I go to the bathroom quite frequently because my rectum is gone and what comes down the large intestine wants to get out. However, I am comfortable when I go, I eat pretty much everything I want. When I do eat rich foods I will have a BM episode that might last for an hour or two, but no pain, no discomfort, and I now say I have a teflon ass, nothing sticks to it.

So this is my 2011. I say good riddance, but that is also bittersweet. My wife put up with an enormous burden, ME! She hurt as I did and she cared for me completely. The Dr.s were superb and caring, I could not have received better treatment.

In addition, two of my employees succumbed to cancer. I worked with these people, I knew their families, and we like one another. So the emotional upheaval of my condition, the loss of two co-workers, and the devastating effect of ovarian cancer on another of my employees who is surviving quite well today, all took a physical and psychological toll. In addition, right at the end of the year a lady I've worked with for ten years announced she was leaving our organization for a better opportunity. I wish her will, she deserves it. However, she and I were a tight team for ten years and I will miss that relationship terribly.

So, good riddance 2011. I hope 2012 brings a measure of peace and stability. I sure could use it.

Christmas Past

2011-12-26T09:07:00.000-06:00

Since chemo/radiation, surgery and reversal are now behind me I am feeling great. One of the things I have noticed is a revival of my spirit and ambition. I am not sitting as often as I have in the past several years. I am tackling some projects that I would've let stack up. I just feel my emotional well being has improved. Then I realized that a year ago when I went to the GI doctor about my bowel issues he said I exhibited classic irritable bowel syndrome symptoms. The main treatment for the problem is an anti-depressant, in this case a drug called Lexapro. I noticed a year ago that after about thirty days my mood seemed to improve even though I was still experiencing severe bloating, gas and pain. Now the cause of those symptoms is gone, but I still take the drug and I think it generally has improved my outlook.

I say all this because I had an excellent Christmas. I had fun with my kids as best you can from the wide separation we have. I had a ball shopping for Terry and selecting gifts she can use and have fun with. I enjoyed the family "gathering" yesterday and was more of a host than I have been in the past. So I thank God for the health, the mental health, and the opportunity at a second chance.

God Bless us All, Everyone!

The Passing of a Friend

2011-11-16T06:31:00.000-06:00

I stopped by the hospice yesterday to see a man I have worked with for several years and count as friend. Ten months ago he was healthy, looking forward to a new semester of teaching and interested in life. He had come through many months of clinical depression that was treated using shock therapy and was well on the road to being productive. He started to put on large amounts of weight rapidly, like two pounds a day.

He was diagnosed with and inoperable tumor in the region of his heart involving a kidney and liver. Within weeks of diagnosis he ended up in the hospice last May where he has languished since.

When I was there yesterday it is obvious he is entering the final stages of the illness. He looks wasted to some degree, pale, weak and is disoriented. His speech is slurred and difficult to understand and his thought process is confused and not easy to follow. He is an engineer, a musician, and intellectual. He is well read, fascinated with the Civil War and those times in society. Yet here he is, his light is winking out. How helpless I feel and how frustrated it makes one to see this slow degradation of a fine person. Why him, how did nature pick him, what did he deserve to have this terrible disease visited upon him. I don't know, these are questions without answer, but the plague me.

Death Squads

2011-11-15T09:36:00.000-06:00

I was schedule to begin a maintenance chemo plan yesterday, Monday, Nov. 14, 2011. It was postponed because the insurance company wanted to review the plan to see if they would pay for it. Today, the lady who is the case manager for the insurance administrator called and said my maintenance chemo plan was turned down for payment. She said I should wait until the Dr. reviews the decision and let him either appeal the decision or come up with a new plan that will meet with approval.

A year ago or so when the democrats pushed through a huge health plan a number of conservative leaders said if the administration of healthcare were turned over to the government we would have "death squads" who would be deciding who lived or died. Well guess what, they are in effect already in place in the private sector.

If I were in desperate straits health-wise I would be extremely upset. However, my prognosis for my condition is very good. There is a 95% chance of full recovery. However, because I had a recurrence of cancer I am also at increased risk for further recurrences. This maintenance program is aimed at reducing that risk.

I have a coworker and friend lying in a hospice in Jonesboro. Ten months ago he was the paragon of health until he started putting on about 2 lbs of weight per day. Within a two week period he went from healthy to deathly ill. They found a tumor had invaded his right kidney, was invading his liver and was in the venus cava area of his heart. It was judged to be inoperable and he was immediately sent home with a horrible diagnosis and no idea of any palliative care that could be provided. He came home and immediately went to a hospice where he has lain since last May. The family Dr. was so upset with his condition that he contacted M.D. Anderson in Houston to see if they would take him and render a second opinion. The insurance company flat refused to pay. Could he have been saved? Who knows, in the meantime he lies in a bed in a comfortable setting waiting to die.

Seems like we owe ourselves more than just a one time shot. In my case, I'm not too upset. Something will probably be done because the insurance company also recommends maintenance therapy. However, we are betting my life on this. Suppose five years from now my cancer comes back and we find out that had I had this "gold standard" treatment it would not have come back. Then the death squad becomes that for real.

Healthcare

2011-11-15T08:08:00.000-06:00

It was recently announced the Supreme Court will hear the case concerning the new healthcare bill next February or March. A decision will be rendered in June, just in time for the election. One of the main sticking points is the mandated insurance coverage where most Americans will have to have insurance or suffer some financial penalty.

The argument against the provision is we should not force people to have to carry insurance and impose a financial burden on those who do not want insurance. A good argument.

However, when these people who opt out of insurance have an accident or are hit with a sudden illness they go to the emergency room and may not be refused treatment. So the cost of that treatment then falls on the rest of us in terms of increased premiums, or taxpayer involvement.

So what are out options? We could refuse medical treatment to those who do not have health insurance. Think about the enormous moral burden we would place on our healthcare providers. Plus we don't refuse people help in the country. This country was founded on independence, but people still came together to render aid when people were in times of crisis or need.

We could bill the person's receiving treatment. However collecting can be a problem prolonged by litigation, abandonment, bankruptcy, or other means of dodging one's responsibility.

Or we can share in the premium cost with everyone participating thus reducing the over all cost for everyone and people would then have assurance of care in times or need or injury.

I opt for mandated participation. This is one area where I think people's self-serving decisions would hurt the common good of the people.

Odd results

2011-09-14T12:09:00.000-05:00

Several years ago I started a family newsletter called Notes from a Little Log Cabin in the Arkansas woods. It began two summers ago when I attended a Dean Family memorial which was my Mother's family, so it was my Mom and aunts and uncles related by blood to her. I had not seen several of my cousins in over 40 years and had lost contact with many. I thought we cousins shared our early years up into our teens in some cases and it would be a shame to lose contact and knowledge of how their lives unfolded. So I started the newsletter to try and keep in contact.

At first the newsletter were simply stories about my life, Terry and I in our log cabin in Arkansas and our rustic life style. However on occasion I would get a brief email about some cousin or family member which I would include in the news letter and send on its way. It appears as time has gone on that there is more and more involvement in the newsletter and so far every family member has commented in a positive fashion that it is nice to know what is going on with the family.

Recently my brother-in-law, Chap Smathers passed away and that was a significant loss for many of our family as he was well known in the family and well loved. My mailing list was humming with news of his health decline and eventual passing. In fact, several family members relied on the newsletter or distribution list for news of what was happening.

Since that time I have had more and more contact with family members and now have a backlog of news items to pass along. So my endeavor to keep contact among the immediate family members seems to be paying off. I have also been pleasantly surprised to have two of my nephews asked to be added to the family distribution list. They are a generation or two younger and I thought there would not be much interest, but apparently I was wrong. So on I shall type and we'll see what the next few years bring.

Sometimes Reality Sucks!

2011-08-27T10:21:00.000-05:00

This is tough. Here I am facing my own health issues of colon cancer, chemo/radiation treatments, two surgeries and just the stress of the health issues. Added to that is my Brother Chap Smathers who appears to be in the final stages of congestive heart failure. He is now in a nursing home where they are attempting some rehab programs, but there is no doubt this is the late stages of that disease. It just breaks my heart, I've known the man for over 60 years. He is truly like a brother to me and I love him dearly. Chap is one of those truly good hearted people you have the privilege of being close to.

On top of that, I have an organization I direct that has taken some direct hits this year. I lost my information techie to cancer two months ago. I watched him go through a truly agonizing two year treatment program that left him sick and in pain for much of the time. We would talk and discuss outcomes and I visited him in the hospital the day he passed. He was 37 and left a wife and two kids ages 1 and 6.

Ninety days ago the man who has a degree in Mechanical Engineering from Old Miss and is our mechanical and hydraulic instructor was seeming healthy and looking forward to the challenge of this new school year. Then bang, he starts putting on two pounds of weight a day and they run tests. The scans found a tumor that had taken one kidney, was intruding on his heart and liver and was deemed inoperable. He now is resting in a hospice in Jonesboro, AR. This guy is also a good hearted man and perhaps the most intellectual of our group. In addition he plays violin, was active in Civil War reenactments and period presentations, played all over NE Arkansas and was known by many. Now we shall lose him.

Finally a computer instructor who had her female check up in January started experiencing some abdominal pain in March and was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Surgery removed most of the cancer and chemotherapy seems to have taken care of the rest. She still has four treatments to go and is up and around, teaching some classes and looks good. But ovarian cancer doesn't usually have a good outcome. I pray this one does.

Thats a lot of death and pain surrounding me all of a sudden. I do not know if I have accepted the inevitable or I have detached from the reality. I don't seem to feel anything but a strong obligation to reach out to these people and talk to them and wish them well and try to do what I can for them. But I also have my own issues to handle. In some way this distraction takes away from my own recovery and that seems to be progressing quite well. Regardless, this period of my life is unique in my experience and I hope once it is passed that it doesn't occur again with this intensity.

I still look out the window and see a beautiful sky, or scene. I still marvel at the love and care our dogs extend to my wife and I. I have come to appreciate my children in new and expanded ways and still want to live many years to experience all the joy life has to provide. Right now however, it is just tough, a day to day, put one foot in front of the other and plod along existence.

Some thoughts

2011-05-14T12:32:00.003-05:00

My daughter Jenny and I get into some long discussions, last night, May 13, 2011 was no exception. I enjoy our talks, we don't always have the same point of view, in fact, I would hope we don't. However our talks are lively and cover a wide range of subjects. As we were talking last night I told her that even though I consider myself a Republican, this is not the Republican party I signed up for. On the one hand the conservatives argue that mandatory participation in health care is not constitutional and abridges ones individual rights. On the other hand they champion banning abortion and say that a woman has no right to choice, thereby ignoring her individual rights. They speak out of both sides of their mouths.

One commentator I heard, and I agree with his point is the every person in America will make use of our health care system at some time and therefore it is only fair that all should participate. I think that is a telling argument. I'm willing to pay my way, but I'll be damned if I feel I should pay for someone's health needs when their choice to refuse insurance is they are young and won't make use of it now.

Anyway, Jenny and I have some special talks. I treasure them. It is so nice to have two daughters that we just openly talk about all issues and respect our rights to hold our own beliefs. It is one of my most enjoyable times, I love to discuss issues, it is how I expand my knowledge.

A new blog

2011-05-01T10:49:00.002-05:00

I have started a new blog. It is titled Bowel Resection Home Recovery. I have decided not to mess up this blog with medical issues that can become kind of disgusting and may have more relevance to folks going through bowel resection. I have received a number of comments ranging from Scotland to Australia concerning my Goggle of Bowel Resection Home Recovery and obviously it has meant something to somebody. So I thought I just have a dedicated blog and see if that picks up some folks how may need some help.

Went to the Dr this morning

2010-11-08T13:57:00.003-06:00

I went to see our family Dr this morning. I actually had an appointment for tomorrow but my mind has been working on me and currently has the best of my condition. I am very concerned about the state of my bowels. This Dr is a good one, a GP or here in the South a Family Practitioner. He takes time with you. Turns out he has much the same problem as I, and I have an appointment with a GI Dr but not for about six weeks. Whew, that is a long time to have the bowel problem I have. However he did tell me that he takes six fiber pills a day and that seems to work pretty well for him. After quite a detailed discussion he does not feel that there is much concern for some growth or scar tissue, or even an adhesion. But, he does recommend I see the GI guy.

I came home and have taken the recommended dose of Fleet Sodium Phosphate laxative to clean out for a colonoscopy. My stomach is rumbling and I'm hoping to have some relief soon. It has been 12 days. However, I feel better talking with the Doc as he just felt my problem is one of a combination of fiber and bowel training. So I guess we shall see what happens.

I'm scared!

2010-11-07T07:39:00.002-06:00

I think I write too many posts with the idea that my daughters will read them and I don't want to appear human, Dad's aren't human, they are towers of strength and fix things. However, I didn't write this blog to be syrupy positive and strong, but to reflect the events in my life that may have some interest to my loved ones and whoever else may come across these writing. So here goes.

I'm scared. When I had the bowel resection almost four years ago I was mostly numb. The colonoscopy said I needed surgery. I didn't fret, I was just like an automaton, going along not reflecting or thinking about it too much. The polyp turned out to be cancerous, but caught so early the Dr's all said, "you're cured." Recovery was just that, putting one foot in front of the other waiting for time to pass and my body to heal itself, which it did. However, there has always been a problem. I do not go to the bathroom easily.

I had pretty much resolved my self to a life of having strain & pain when I had a BM. However, I found relief and had an hour of pain but 23 hours of ease. I had resolved it to be an acceptable trade. However, as time has gone on the pain & strain has gotten worse. It culminated about five weeks ago to almost constant pain and bloating with small periods of relief. I didn't do anything. I could not make sense of the events but was hoping something would pass or it would get better.

Now after several episodes I think the restriction has become more pronounced. I had a "bug" hit me about a week and a half ago and in the process I took a strong laxative that literally cleaned me out. The result was after the bug passed I had 3-5 days of almost euphoric ease. I had energy, the old optimism was in force, I was alive and vital. But, I wasn't going to the bathroom, it was just stacking up in my body. I have tried 4 doses of laxatives in the past week without success. I get painful cramping, a sick feeling, and no relief.

Why am I scared. Because I think the problem is mechanical, not an illness. I think there has always been a restriction but for some reason it is worse. I'm scared because I feel like I'm going to have to under go a battery of tests including a CT and that time energy and fear will be spent on trying to find out what is going on. I don't really believe it is a return of cancer. I just had a colonoscopy ten months ago and the report was all clear. However the Dr. at VA that did the test had the personality of a slug. He didn't even acknowledge me when he came into the OR to do the procedure. He certainly brought me out long enough to point out that there was still some fecal material in the colon and that I hadn't cleaned out really well. He was an ass. But that didn't mean he didn't do his job and the report was OK. Could it be scar tissue building up? I suppose. Maybe it is a slight kink. Regardless it is going to cost me time, energy and worry until it gets resolved and that has me angry, frustrated and afraid all at the same time.

My wife is able to set aside worries and do something to focus her mind elsewhere. Me, I've got to obsess about it, I have to speculate, wonder and analyze. It is my nature about all things, I wonder, I try to learn, I speculate and I analyze. It has been one of my most powerful characteristics in my work life, but it is one of my terrible faults in my personal life. So here I sit, scared, worried and frustrated of what I see looming as a significant problem. However, I also know that I carry that analysis to the extreme and what has seemed to be insurmountable issues have been quite insignificant when reality is determined. I hope that is the case this time.

A week to go

2010-10-25T20:03:00.003-05:00

A week from tomorrow, mid-term elections will be over. Today on NPR one panelist referred to this mid-term election as possibly setting the political tone for the next decade. Heck, I thought when Obama was elected the political tone was set for the next decade. Politics, so maddening, so confusing, yet so right.

Fact is, if the Republican's take the House they can't repeal the healthcare bill. They can underfund parts of it, but once the American people realize that the whole bills is so interrelated that you won't be able to change part of the bill without effecting a lot of the bill it will continue on.

Fact is, all of the politicians operate on raising our fear level. Regan asked the American public to think whether or not they were better off four years ago than they are today. My answer is no. I have my home paid for, I spend far less than I make, I've husbanded our resources and my home is renovated and looks good. I don't have cancer, and my heart is ticking along well, so yes, thank you for asking, I am better off than I was four years ago. So are my kids. So is my ex-wife. So are a lot of people I know.

I wish the electorate would rise up and say to Congress you must term limit yourselves. You should not be career politicians who put personal gain over public welfare. So throw the bums out. Elect the Republicans and watch our ever present political process grind down their rough, and ready edges.

Then you know what, in four years we'll ask again, are you better off today than you were four years ago? Know what, I'll bet the answer is yes.

A Strange Thought

2010-10-12T13:39:00.002-05:00

I sincerely believe that man's inability to deal with the unknown led him to create a God. Which man then worshiped as the granter of all good things and blamed for all the bad things. Wars were fought under the auspices of God, races were slaughtered in the name of God. Nowhere have we any proof that the "right" God won. We have stories, but in all of the years of war, slaughter, and genocide has any final verdict been rendered? No, the battles still rage.

What if there really was a God? What if that God had a universal philosophy that all living things were created equal and no one species was any better than any other species? Logic would then say that the species of the world live in harmony and balance with each other, only one species has not. What if all living creatures were following natural rules of evolution. Where then is heaven?

Always two sides

2010-10-10T08:31:00.003-05:00

A good friend sent me a slide show with a beautiful rendition of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" as the background. It purported to trace a parallel between the U.S. and Argentina of the past century. Argentina according to the information was second to the U.S. in economy around 1900. They had railroads, industrial development, and a robust economy Then came the progressive/socialist politicians who instituted government run health-care, stimulus packages and appealed to the masses. Thus the disintegration of Argentina and the argument that the U.S. is on a similar track.

I don't say hogwash. However, what concerns me is that the other side of the story is ignored. Yes there was industrial development similar to the U.S. but there was abuse of the workforce, there was no pass through of the riches the industrial and agricultural captains gained. Just as in the U.S.

Are we so naive to think that a group of workers got together and said, lets fork over two hours of our wages every month to a group of people to represent out interests with the owners, and let's call that organization a union. No, people who did not kowtow to the owner's wishes could be black listed, never to work in that community again. They could be summarily fired at a whim without recourse. This country's legal system is built on the right to have your side of the story heard and a judgment rendered. I do not like unions because the nature of the union's philosophy leads to mediocrity. But, unions did not spring up from some satisfied worker wishing to bond together, they arose because of the abuse the owners perpetrated to satisfy their own lust for power and greed for material reward.

A story is told of George Pullman who had built a company town for his workers. Due to a recession in the 1890's the Pullman Palace Car Company was forced to lay off workers, some of whom lived in the company town. When rent came due workers told the company they had no income and could not pay the rent. Pullman was supposed to have replied, well, my bills continue even with the economic downturn, so you must still pay the rent.

I believe in an individual rights. I believe we have the responsibility to take care of ourselves and our families. I do not ask for help from anyone, if possible. But I also believe in being fair and just. Many captains of industry were not, their riches were gained off the sweat of the workers and without care or consideration. Henry Ford did not increase the pay of his workers to $5.00 a day when the average was $1.00 per day out of some sense of humanitarian fairness, but so his workers could afford to buy his cars.

What we seem to have a difficult time accomplishing is a balance. Perhaps it is the the nature of our kind that a balance will never be struck because of the basic competitive nature of mankind. But it should ebb and flow without violent swings, and that is what this country is all about. ;

Ft. Hood suicides

2010-09-29T15:52:00.002-05:00

An article on the CNN website today discussed four military suicides last week at Ft. Hood, TX. This apparently brings the number of suicides to fourteen this year plus the shootings of military personnel by a radical Major. One of the suicides was apparently a murder-suicide, one an army private and the last a Master Sergant who had been injured during a tour in the mid-East. I cannot help but wonder if some of the reason isn't the fact that their participation in the military operation has no practical or realizable outcome. I am amazed that American parents continue to let their sons and daugthers participate in a military action that has no measure of success. It isn't like we are going to beat and destroy an evil. We are trying to establish a democracy in a region that does not tolerate democracy very well. So meaningless participation in a military action that has no satisfactory outcome other than political could make a person despondent. Especially one severely injured.

What do you do?

2010-08-30T16:01:00.003-05:00

Our dog, Lily, appears to be dying. She has stopped eating, she drinks very little water and hardly has the strength to stand let alone walk. Yet she went outside and tinkled, then actually had a small BM, and then stood for minutes. I finally carried her back to the porch and she was able to walk in. She is now lying near the water dish, but I think she just doesn't have the energy to go any further.

She cannot talk to me. I now recognize that when she tries to move her back legs she wants to move so I pick her up so she can stand. Earlier this afternoon we sat on the floor near one another. I stroked her head softly, I rubbed her ears and fondled her neck. I whispered to her that we loved her, she was a good dog, and if she had to go it was OK. Over and over I whispered that phrase. At one point she turned her head toward me and gazed deep into my eyes and held that gaze for sometime. It was not a hurt gaze, or a scared gaze, it was and understanding gaze. I tried to tell Terry at lunch, but I couldn't get it out. I can write about it, but I can't tell my wife yet. I breakdown and can't talk. Pets should not be so lovable. It breaks your heart.

But I shall continue to talk to her, to stroke her head, to offer food, to stand her if she wants to stand and carry her back from her trip outdoors. Whatever she needs I'll provide if I can understand her want. She does not appear to be in pain. She does not appear to be very uncomfortable, no wheezing, no coughing, no labored breaths. She actually seems quite tranquil. I keep hoping that I will take her a food offering and she'll take it. I keep hoping she will take a long drink of water. I keep hoping she will be OK. She is only one and a half years old, she has rabbits to chase, squirrels to chase, and a sister to be played with. I don't think she will get to do that, and that is profoundly sad.

A long reading project is done!

2010-08-01T14:14:00.006-05:00

I have felt for some time I wanted to know more about the founding of our country. I've read some history books from that period and read articles that have provided information on the times. However, about two and a half years ago I took on the task of reading the Federalist Papers. Mostly written by Hamilton, Madison and Jay I looked forward to being enlightened concerning the intent our founders had in creating the constitution of our country. The Federalist Papers are a series of articles published in the New York papers explaining the intent of the authors of the constitution as there was a widespread debate raging in the country over the upcoming election of ratify the constitution.

It was tough reading. The English language of the day does not read easily, the sentence structure is confusing, and there far more references the the latter or the preceding that left me having to try and go back and see which was which. The Federalist Papers are a wonderful sleep aid. I tried to read a letter in one sitting, sometimes that was too much. I am done, just finished a week or so ago. I feel a sense of triumph in having stuck with it. I feel a sense of disappointment in that I don't feel much more knowledgeable than I did before. I also feel relief in that I no longer have to pick that book out of a sense of task, but to reread upon occasion for understanding.

I think now I shall look for a text that helps me understand the writings and the context in which they were written.

What did I learn?

The men who wrote the constitution were a strong group. Their values and opinions were diverse and ran deep. The founding fathers were astute when it came to politics, human behavior and very aware of systems of government in place in other parts of the world. I think they had a strong sense of evolution of issues and left parts of the constitution vague for that very purpose. Succeeding generations would interpret and make their own sense of things.

I do not think these men were states rights folks and wanted a necessarily small federal government, but I think that had an idea of what they could propose and successfully pass the electorate at the time. I think they showed profound wisdom when they argued that the federal government needed to be responsible for making treaties, enforcing treaties, providing for the common defense and had to right to raise funds to provide for the services provided.

I found their reasoning for using trial by jury in most cases to be most profound. Juries are to provide a check on the corruption of the judges, and the judges are a check on the corruption of the jury. They men understood human nature and our tendency to always act in our own best interests.

I intend to go back and study further. I want first hand knowledge that I have developed instead of assholes interpreting the constitution for me. I am glad that I am done. I do have a sense of accomplishment even though I don't feel a great sense of knowledge, but at least I know where to look.

Politics

2010-06-26T09:07:00.003-05:00

I get so tired of politics. Yet, I learned years ago that politics results from allocating resources. There is never enough, the needs of a group, community, city, state and finally the country are so great that resources are always allocated. Anytime you allocate resources you end up vying for your share. Therefore, political maneuvering results trying to gain your share or greater of the resources you want.

What are these resources? Everything. Electrical power, water, land, money, food, air, transportation. Everything we use or want is a resource to be expended. Health care, insurance, automobiles, fuel sources, and housing are all wants that require the use of resources to fill the need.

So, I guess politics will always be a factor to be reckoned with. I hope to reduce my dependency on politics. In a few years when I retire Terry and I hope to work our land more efficiently to yield more food crops that reduce our dependency on store bought supplies. There are a lot of things to consider, storage, what types of crops to grow, and improving our care of our crops far beyond what we do now. The problem is we are growing old. The energy and stamina that once was present is diminished and interest wanes over time. Yet year after year Terry revitalizes our flower beds and we have a nice display of flowers, shrubs and plant variety that is pleasing to the eye. Perhaps without the requirement to leave the homestead daily to go to work we shall have more time to expend on our land without over taxing our own personal resources.

I look forward to the challenge.

Swearing politicians

2010-06-13T15:49:00.004-05:00

An article in Time talked about how politicians are caught using some type of swear word and how they try to control their use of the language. I say good for them. I know Joe Biden is a democrat. I do enjoy hearing him speak though. Not speeches on topics but when he spoke at Ted Kennedy's funeral it was warm, witty, personal and you knew how much he thought of Ted and the rest of the Kennedys. It seems to me that there are two types of swearing: 1. that which is meant to outrage, offend, or just gross us out; and 2. that which adds to, embellishes or helps make a strong point.

I swear. My daughters have been known to utter a word or two. I think when we smack our thumb with a hammer one of the best natural pain relievers is a string of foul obscenities and curse words that tend to pull some pain from the body and dissipate it into the atmosphere.

There is an emphasis to "hell no" that does not exist in a simple no. There is a point of emphasis that is expanded when one says, "what the fuck is that?" Among comrades there can be a warmth expressed that goes beyond just the words when I might say, "well you old bastard, you did good!" There is an intimacy to that kind of statement that others may not achieve. There may be some one on the fringe of the conversation who say to themselves, "I will have arrived when he calls me an old bastard."

Now I have some relatives who tend to use cursing and obscenities for shock value. That is a misuse of the the art of cursing. That is ignorance of language that allows for that kind of expression. It also is ignorance of being able to express themselves in a fashion that could be done better without shocking the pants off some little old ladies who overhear such and outburst.

Swear for effect, not out of ignorance or inability to convey your meaning in a more acceptable fashion. As for politicians swearing, I think it provides a sense of reality that otherwise would not exist. It gives us a measure of the person's passion. So I hope they continue to embellish their style with a few well chosen words. Damn right!

An Odd Day

2010-06-05T15:50:00.003-05:00

I did not feel to chipper last week. I had some digestive track problems that actually made me feel ill. I got past that by Wednesday morning last, but my back was sore because of the work I had done the week before. It was on the mend though.

Then comes Friday. I woke up about 1:30 AM perspiring. That is unusual for me. I got up, used the bathroom and came back to bed. All of a sudden my heart was beating irregularly. It felt like an A-fib episode which I find completely aggravating. I don't feel threatened other than if it persists it means a trip to the hospital to get straightened out, and if it persists long enough it means I may have to take blood thinners the rest of my life. So tension runs high if I have an episode.

I kept feeling my pulse and could get no regular beat. I did feel the telltale flutter or pressure under my breast bone. However, I did not feel fatigued, out of breath, or weak which are also common symptoms of and A-fib attack. So I got up and monitored the condition. I took an extra rythmole pill as the cardiologist had suggested. All of a sudden my heart rate zoomed up to 120 bpm. That is unusual for me. I take so much medication that slows my heart down that 90 is high for me. The other thing that happened was the fluttering in my chest stopped. However, upon checking my pulse I still seemed to have an irregular rate, but now it was fast. I got up to 130 bpm.

The night passed and as day broke, my heart was going too fast and it was difficult to get steady pulse, but I actually felt pretty good. I could not feel the high pulse rate. So I decided to go to work. The day passed but my heart rate stayed elevated until about 4 PM when it seemed to drop some. Then the fluttery sensation seemed to come back, but more like pvcs instead of A-fib. I could detect the telltale "skip" in the heart beat indicative of pvcs. So I wasn't worried, pvcs don't kill you.

When I got home a little after five I did feel tired from the long day. I checked my bp and it was good, 139/85 but the pulse was 128. As long as my BP didn't go up too high I felt things were OK. I lay on the bed after dinner and rested. About 7 PM I noticed a nice strong heart rhythm and the pulse rate had dropped to 62. BP was good, in fact is was 111/72. So I chalked up the day to a different day and still feel fine as of the writing of this blog some 20 hours later.

Ain't life a hoot?

Oh Rand

2010-05-24T12:54:00.003-05:00

What has Rand Paul stirred up? Actually not much. There are many people who hold varying degrees of Mr. Paul's philosophy. I have a friend who told me that he believes that if a group of people wanted to live in a community where it was OK to shoot one another if offended they could. Wow! He was serious. He followed up with the question: "Who would want to live in such a place?" Almost as a way of excusing his extremism. If the federal government takes the right to regulate citizen's behavior then as an article written by Tamar Jacoby for CNN says then could the government regulate what men might wear in public. Could we outlaw mustaches? It comes to a matter of degree doesn't it?

One of Ms. Jacoby"s strongest arguments is that the Civil Rights Act of 1875, yes Victoria, there was a Civil Rights Act in 1875, was ignored by citizens of the United States. The law banned discrimination "in public places such as inns, and public conveyances on land and water." To me that is a fatal argument to those that would propose no government interference. I suppose one could say, the government should not interfere in private matters. To some degree that is already true. I do not have to open my house to anyone of any race, gender, creed or religious affiliation. That is not what government is about though.

What we are really talking about here is human behavior. If we had designated an area where killing of your fellow man was legal, that you could live their as long as you could survive without penalty there would be people who would attempt the lifestyle. How would you handle the situation where late in the evening a disgruntled spouse drove his/her spouse into that area, murdered him/her and then left the area to return to their lives without any penalty because of where the killing took place. I guess then the local government would have to place restrictions on who could become a citizen of such an area. Now a government entity is regulating my behavior.

What makes the Federal government's regulation so abhorrent that people would believe a state, county or community could do any better. How do I know when I travel across this grand country the laws that are in effect in the various areas. I guess posting a listing of the local laws outside of town would be a good way, then I can stop at the state, county, or city limits and determine whether or not I wanted to enter the area.

You can see that these Libertarian arguments end up short. They are very similar to Free Market arguments in economics. Yet, the idea that people would resist socially repressive actions just isn't borne out in reality. We deem pornography as being socially offensive yet porn sites get the greatest number of "hits" of any website on the system. We find the news that "sells" tends to portray the dark side of human nature. Look at the so called "reality" shows on TV. Often they show human behavior at its worst. Bad Boy, Bad Boy.

Collectively we say how could a person beat of child or a spouse, yet we are riveted by the images. Some of our most popular sports rely on mayhem for their main attraction, the NFL, NHL, rodeos, and the infamous sport of wrassling and no holds barred fighting. I find it hard to believe that we would be so self-regulating that we could tolerate a wide open society.

So, while Rand Paul's statement about the Civil Rights Act of 1964 are extreme, what about the fact that to discriminate is just wrong. What about the fact that abusing one's spouse, child or pet is just wrong. Allowing companies to have unfettered access to capital and pay their employees millions of dollars in bonus when their actions damn near put the economy under is wrong. Allowing some people to refuse to buy insurance, yet use my money when they have an emergency is just plain wrong.

It isn't wrong to wish for Utopia. Wouldn't it be nice. Too often though, people who dream such thought don't think of what happens when the people living in Utopia don't behave in a Utopian manner.

Devastating Impact

2010-04-18T06:07:00.002-05:00

A volcano has begun to erupt in Iceland. The name is incomprehensible. I'll just refer to it as Iceland Volcano No. 1. It is creating an ash plume that is being distributed over northern Europe by winds that tend to blow from West to East in the northern hemisphere. This morning I watched a short video on CNN about the volcano. The last time this volcano erupted in 1820 it erupted for two years. Of course commercial flight had not been invented then. But now, what impact will this plume have on northern Europe. So far over 17,000 flights have been canceled. What about the trade conferences, the normal business conducted in the area, and air freight delivery. Just think if your travel plans became restricted to ferries and trains. What if that lasted two years? It will be interesting to see how adaptable the social structure is, and what adaptation will take place. I have no doubt that the situation will be overcome, but I have a hard time visualizing how. I suspect it will have more to do with the technology of communication than it will with the adaptation of travel means. We shall see.

Lying nearby Volcano No 1 is another volcano that through history has erupted about every 70 years. It has now been 90 years since it last erupted. It is felt to be a more powerful volcano than No. 1. What does this portend for our friends in Europe?

A Little Log Cabin in Arkansas

2010-04-05T04:27:00.004-05:00

The title of this posting tends to be the title of a newsletter I publish to our family once a week. It also reflects the life style my wife and I enjoy in our real log cabin in the Arkansas woods. Living on 10 acres and a log cabin requires a great deal of time. I'm not sure everyone would be cut out for this life, but it seems to suit Terry and I. The place is not a show place. It has a couple of expired lawn mowers sitting by the garage. The garage is just that, an ugly building with some cheap siding but it houses a treasure chest of tools and the all important "stuff." Rooms in the house are under repair. I have hopes of remodeling the bathroom and making it into a pleasant room that reflects our taste which tends to old and rustic.

I did not know about log homes when I bought this place back in November 1988. I did not have the time nor the money to keep the place up properly and now mentally kick myself for not doing more. Regardless it is what it is. I invested about $16,000 last fall having rotten logs replaced and the surface blasted back to a base log look. Now with the work of our daughter Tracy's boyfriend we are coating the place with 2 coats of stain and one of a clear coat. We've applied the first coat of stain, yesterday, April 4, 2010. It looks good. The color is called Warm Honey and it does look like that. The logs have a soft yellow appearance but with the underlying log grain and patina it looks wonderful.

We are going to try to apply the second coat of stain this week and the clear coat by week's end. Providing Zeb, the painter, can hold out. I find myself becoming so interested in how the place is going to turn out I can hardly wait. In the meantime we sit in a home where all of the windows are covered with plastic and can't see outside other than to know it is either daylight or dark.

I tried to do the work myself. Saturday afternoon, with the help of Sam, our grandson, I attempted to stain the place. First of all I discovered I did not have the work thought out very well. The paint sprayer I bought does an excellent job and puts out a tremendous volume, but you actually spend more time moving ladders than you do spraying. Towards the end of the day I was fatigued and trying too hard. That is a dangerous combination for me. I seem to lose the ability to exercise care and end up stumbling around like a bull in a china shop.

I fell off a ladder. I was not using the ladder as I should have. I had the ladder, "Little Giant," in an A frame position and was working from the side. I lost my balance and started to fall back. Unable to find anything to catch myself I eventually got past the point of return and the ladder kicked out from under me. Down I went, perhaps four feet. I landed on some stones we have for decoration in a flower bed. Worse, I struck my head against a log end. From the look of the wound it was a sharp corner. I was stunned and lay there for several minutes. Blood ran everywhere. Finally Sam found some paper towels and I was able to get up. The wound bled profusely. Fortunately it was about 4 pm and Terry came home from work for dinner. She was able to clean up the area some and the bleeding lessened. However, it oozed blood most of the night. She dressed the wound when she came home at 9 pm, but I was so sore. My back hurt, my side, my legs all where I had made contact with wood, stone and earth. I was really afraid I would have trouble getting out of bed the next morning.

Well I got out of bed Sunday morning. The Aleeve had done its work, fairly well. I was stiff but not as sore as the night before. As the morning progressed I got a little looser and even began entertaining thoughts of mounting the ladders again. However, my lovely wife intervened. She called our daughter Tracy and asked if Zeb could come over and help. They did, and it was wonderful. Zeb paints cars for a living and is an excellent worker. He painted, I moved ladders for him, replenished the sprayer, picked up trash, taped windows, etc. He did the bulk of the physical work, but I was with him every step of the way. We finished coat one by about 4 pm Sunday afternoon.

In the meantime Terry prepared a wonderful turkey dinner feast with homemade cornbread/bread dressing with pecans. Wonderful gravy, and green beans completed the meal. A homemade strawberry cake with philly cheese frosting for dessert gave the feeling of old time work groups. The men work outside, the women in. Terry worked hard, just as hard as any of the rest of us. So the day came together, people came together and a task was accomplished. From the depths of aches and pains and frankly some despair Saturday afternoon to a fun filled dinner, tired bodies and a job well done.

Terry had an enjoyable visit with granddaughter Kimberly about sewing and the evening ended well. Bed and Aleeve were especially luxurious. It hurts to turn over and I am experiencing some balance issues when I get up from a prone position. It will pass and hopefully things will be back to normal with a big job accomplished. So ends the first coat.

The Final Four

2010-03-31T03:56:00.002-05:00

I have long loved the excitement and enthusiasm that the NCAA basketball tournament brings. For a few week much of the country is focused on the Thursday/Saturday - Friday/Sunday games. 65 teams start the journey that ends with one standing as National Champion for Division I men's basketball. At the same time the woman's tournament is being played. While the woman are not as spectacularly athletic as the men they play a great level of ball. I enjoy the woman's tournament because being shorter they play a brand of ball that is more reminiscent of the ball played in my era. No spectacular dunks, or "in your face" shot blocking, but excellent fast breaks, great three point shooting and tough no nonsense defense.

This is a time of year that everyone has a bracket and office pools become intense topics of conversation in the break room. It is as though we collectively take a break from the tedium and issues of life and even the President takes his hand at bracket selection on national TV.

What I really enjoy is the frantic pace of the tournament. In the first round there are sixteen games play in various parts of the country in a day. Sixteen teams go home victors, sixteen teams go home with the taste of defeat, yet they participated. Some stellar programs are laid low, some small colleges become heroic. It seems that everyone pulls for the underdog except when our favorite team is involved. The Friday round of sixteen games repeats Thursday's interest. Then come the round of 32 and there is intense interest in who will make the "Sweet Sixteen." The story grows around who will be the "Cinderella" team and how far will they go.

As the tournament progresses you get to see the variety of styles of coaching. The maddening, methodical pace of the Wisconsin Badgers, Bo Ryan's magic at work. The powerful, athletic powerhouse of Kentucky or Kansas is on display. Cornell, not an athletic scholarship on the team, but a smooth successful year for the "Big Red." Kansas gets knocked of in the Sweet Sixteen by a courageous and talented Northern Iowa team and expectations and hopes of young men lie dashed while other young men get to battle another day. Everyone has a chance. That is, I guess why I like March Madness. Everyone has a chance. In the end, a great team usually emerges victorious, but for a month in March we lose our distrust of society, we become involved in speculation with strangers and talk about common issues that will have no bearing on the direction of our lives. But just tell that to the players at Kansas, Kansas St., Kentucky and Syracuse who went home early humiliated at their lowly defeat when the expectations were so high.

It is a reassuring, fun, fascinating process our country goes through once a year. All made possible by the athletic prowess of a bunch of 18 - 22 year old young men trying.

College, who needs college?

2010-03-06T09:52:00.002-06:00

Not everyone. In a recent Time article it was stated that roughly 40% of people who enter college do not get a degree within six years. Over 25% work in positions their degree does not support. In 2007 most people do not work in jobs that require a college degree. 50% of the people who enter college do not finish. Yet, thousands of parents and students go into debt to obtain a degree that may be of little or no use. I read one financial analysis that said the real estate debt problem we've recently been battling is just the tip of the iceberg. Credit card debt and student loan debt are even larger, and have the potential of being just as big a problem.

So why go to college. One argument is that college educated people earn more on average than non-college education people. However, recent studies are starting to say that people who go to college have a higher level of intelligence and that may be the factor that improves earning potential, not the fact that you have a degree.

I am a firm believer that manufacturing is one of the fundamental creators of wealth. There are those who argue that the service sector creates wealth and to the degree that a person is exchanging their personal effort and knowledge to provide a service such as a auto repair technician, or a plumber I agree. However, the bulk of the service sector such as insurance is simply a redistribution of money based on statistical data and doesn't create wealth except for those executives with bloated pay checks. The hospitality industry doesn't create wealth, except in the local economy by furnishing jobs, but I consume a sub and its value in terms of use in simply nutritional. I would also say that software creators could create wealth in the performance of their programs, but I would also argue that the design, development and production of software is manufacturing, just not the traditional type we think of.

In our area I see industrial firms who came to the south because of cheaper wages now having to battle the same issues industry does nationwide. The diminishing number of technically qualified technicians. College degrees are not necessarily needed for these jobs. It is becoming a real problem. How then can we build back our manufacturing base, and compete with off shore industry when we can't fix something when it breaks.

The answer is in parents becoming more involved in, in tune with, and willing to consider that little Johnny doesn't need to go to college to earn a good income. Two-year colleges offer the best alternative though many two-year colleges view them selves as an important link in the transfer process. That is providing cheap, home bound basic education, then the student transfers to a four-year institution to specialize. We still need to emphasize what is truly needed by our society, trained technical personnel. Amen.

Did President Bush commit murder?

2010-03-05T09:00:00.002-06:00

I was listening to the Diane Rehm show on NPR yesterday on my way to work. The moderator made a statement that in a recent book Carl Rove, a Bush confidant, made a statement concerning the Iraq war. The statement was to the effect that had they known there were no WMD in Iraq they would've never gone to war. One of the panelists said when he read that he wanted to vomit.

Rove apparently made that statement during a debate. In addition, Bush recently said that he regretted the intelligence inaccuracy most of all and did not know if he would've made the same decision to go to war had he known the truth. Yet in 2005 Bush stated that even if he had known there was no WMD it would not have altered his decision.

As of this morning checking a Washington Post data base there have been 5372 fatalities associated with the Iraq war. In my mind, Bush's decision now qualifies him as a "mass murderer." Are we arrogant enough to believe that we should've gone to war to install democracy in a region that has no desire for democracy? Are we arrogant enough to go to war because women appear to be chattel property as opposed to being equal, in a society that does not recognize gender equality. Just what did American families sacrifice their most precious assets for? What justification can now be made that makes sense of 5372 deaths. For the life of me I cannot think of one argument.

It is bad enough that human history is filled with tyrants, kings, emperors, and other methods of governance who sacrificed human life for personal gain or empire building. Our country was supposed to be a different experiment. We can easily justify the loss of life for the Revolutionary War, it is what created the opportunity for the grand experiment. We can understand the War of 1812, we will be free. We can defend the Civil War, it was to keep the country united at all costs. We started going a little astray in WWI, however there was a period of time where a number of military conflicts we participated in were to help some ally, or to protect U.S. interests in various parts of the world. WWII was the "righteous war. There are few that would defend the madness of Hitler and say the war wasn't justified. Even Korea was to prevent the spread of a system abhorrent to our way of life. Then comes Vietnam. It was insanity. The first Iraq war was to shove a madman back into his box, but wasn't out to recreate the governmental system in Iraq. Then comes the latest involvement in Iraq. It is insanity. The American public was mislead by our leaders who used bad intelligence to send 5372 of our finest to their deaths.

At least in Afghanistan we are not trying to impose democracy or right a social belief system that has been in place for thousands of years. At least we are saying to the Taliban participate, quit trying to subjugate. Even so, I think we make an attempt, then get the hell our and render their poppy fields infertile forever.

A life removed by war is opportunity removed forever. It is a person who won't get to walk in the woods and view the beauty of nature. It is a person who will not know the joy of watching their children grow up, likewise participate in the heartbreak of behavior gone wrong. It is a person who won't have the opportunity to participate and contribute. Life is gone forever. Memory does not build, experience ceases. There must be an overwhelming reason to place for flower of youth in harm's way.

Republican Part Agenda

2010-02-23T04:49:00.003-06:00

A little over a year President Obama was inaugurated and the Republican party was in its grave. Now the polls are saying the citizens of our country are dissatisfied with government and think it's broken. No shit! It has been broken ever since Newt Gingrich proposed the Republican Contract with America in the early 90's. The macho position taken by the conservative Republican members of the party is like the adage to the younger boxer about the enter the ring, "Don't lead with you chin."

In addition, the Republican's embraced the so-called Religious Right to help get elected in the 90's. That was a mistake. The party that once stood for individual rights and anti-interference on the part of government came to espouse legislating so called Traditional American Values. Who in the hell put them in the position of deciding that Traditional American Values are acceptable. So now they support anti-gay legislation, anti-abortion legislation, and the incursion into my individual rights that defies my understanding. Let's build a fence around our country to keep out immigrants. Immigrants who, by the way, take the lowest paying jobs that Americans don't want to earn their way and have a work ethic that I wish many Americans exhibited. Labor unions want to protect a bloated union system that is bankrupting companies like General Motors, and threatening many state governments who have promised unwieldy pension programs that aren't even funded. Oh yes, and then lets puff out our chest and declare many countries to be against the American way of life and create massive defense systems to blow the world up instead of trying to resolve our difference by reaching out. Believe it or not there are some pretty moderate Arab countries, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and others I cannot think of.

Seems to me we need to take a look at solving the problems instead of treating the symptoms.

So what should the Republican stance be?

Don't be so "hawkish." Drawing a line in the sand has never resolved a problem but has resulted in a gun fight. I support Obama in this regard about reaching out to other nations to begin a dialogue on how to resolve our difference. There may be some exceptions to my statement, namely North Korea. That country, in my mind, is a paranoid, unstable country its population so indoctrinated that perhaps it is like a cancer and should just be eradicated.
Enter into a positive dialogue with the Democrats to resolve the Health Care issue. Left alone it will simply get worse. Polarized political decisions will lead us to ruin or to some politically expedient decision that won't resolve the problem. Why hasn't Congress resolved the problem of cutting payments to Dr.'s under Medicare permanently instead of band-aiding year after year.
While I support smaller government and more restrictive spending we didn't get sick overnight, we are not going to get well overnight. I would like to see Republican's adopt a more realistic program of reducing government spending and its impact on my personal life. Our economic well being and functioning of our economy is so complicated you cannot do any one thing without impacting some other part of the economy. If we are going to limit spending then let's make sure everyone gets whacked, including Defense.
Dump the Religious Right. It became obvious in the Bush administration that attempts to push the Religious Right's issues was a token effort. In the meantime schisms have been created that are not in accordance with our country's founding philosophy, "equal treatment under the law," "separation of church and state," and "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." There may be enough dissatisfaction with government that well thought out strategy will entice those disgruntled folks into the Republican fold.
I do believe there are three areas that the federal government needs to take a lead in, Health Care with a single payer system, the regulation of our financial institutions, the defense of our country. I also think a larger transition to people being self-supporting in their retirement years is proper, however I do not want to be abandoned as I am going to rely on social security for the majority of my retirement income. I do wish there I better understood the investment vehicles in my younger years and maybe I would not find myself in the position of reliance I am in now.

I have more specific thoughts, but they wouldn't work. I am not naive to think my ideas by themselves will find acceptance by all. So I don't put forth specifics as there are better minds than mine to address the problem.

I do believe that Congress should be term limited. I do have some specific ideas there. The members of the House should be allowed no more than three two-year terms. The Senate should be limited to one six-year term. They should be well compensated, pay them a million dollars a year for their services. Let's attract the brightest and the best. Once they are no longer a member of Congress for whatever reason they may not work for, nor lobby for any organization that derives revenue from government contracts or seeks to influence legislation on behalf of organizations that derive income from government contracts.

I have some friends who would like to see citizen direct vote on issues. Using our communication technology we would vote in place of our Congressmen through the internet. It sounds Utopian to me. The founders of our country feared minority rule and the tyranny of the majority. They sought means to moderate extreme philosophies from controlling the country. The only way direct vote would work is if the initiation of legislation were controlled and voting while based on a simple majority rule would not take effect until 65% of the eligible electorate had voted on a proposition. Then it might work.

These are thoughts I've had on our recent political upheaval. They make sense to me, but perhaps not to many others.

I Wish

2010-02-09T11:11:00.003-06:00

We are such a fragmented body politic in this country that we are subjected to minority rule. What ever minority at the time makes the most noise seems to rule. It seems to me that the party in power, democratic, and the party of loyal dissent, republican are so at odds that they seem to take delight in simply negating the power of the other party without regard to the will of the citizens. I wish the voters of the U.S. would somehow come together and take back control of our country. I think it is important that the two parties work together to fashion legislation that reflects the will of the citizens instead of the will of the representatives.

I know that there are republicans who say they are representing the will of the people by blocking issues from coming up in Congress. Someone explain to me how the "super majority" of 60 votes is representative of the will of the people. It in fact drives minority rule to the extreme. One senator can command payoffs by withholding his vote. If the filibuster is a tactic in the Senate, then I think they should actually have to filibuster, the old fashioned way. Senators take the floor, hold the floor, through the night, through the day until finally one side has to negotiate a position as the business of the Senate is simply not going to happen until the issue is resolved. The way the filibuster rule works now, it has just added a layer obstruction to the work of the Senate. At least under the old method nothing got done as long as senators held the floor. Now, they just have a vote and go on to obstruct other important work.

Vote them all out, vote for term limits, don't allow an elected official to become a lobbyist until five years have past from his end of term, and tell them to get on with the business of the country.

Continuation of spiritual thoughts

2010-02-08T09:24:00.002-06:00

I have just finished blogging about our Yellow Labs on my blog Wags N Tales. Seeing that it is a quiet snowy day in Arkansas, the music is fine, and the thought process seems to be rather inventive I guess I'll continue my thoughts here.

The snow we are getting today has enough moisture in it to stick to branches, but it is not what I call a real wet snow. The outside world is a canvas that holds a miraculous painting in detail so great a human hand could not fashion the picture. These kind of days get me wondering about our existence and purpose.

There are many in our world who would walk through the scene on our landscape and view it as negative. My wife is grousing about snow, spring is just around the corner and here we face the difficulty in getting around due to snow. I see enjoyment. We'll get around, we will find food to eat. We will stay warm in our homes, and rest secure that our world will remain comfortable. There are many in this world who will not experience that sense of security and freedom from hunger. The Bible teaches "the poor shall always be with us."

I tend to view life as good. I tend to view life's experiences as good. Some do not. Some are overwhelmed with grief at the poverty and illness and tyranny that seems to exist. I do not like it, however, I don't feel guilty about this thought but often I'm left with "that's life." It may seem like an oversimplification, but then life is not complicated. In a very real sense, we are born, we live, we pass on. It is a pretty simple process.

Our behavior tends to complicate life. Our behavior at times seems to be beyond our control. Genetic markers make certain women susceptible to breast cancer. There are certain genetics make ups that predispose a person to mental illness like schizophrenia. People are commonly seduced by power and alter their behavior in view of the power they possess. A man I know who was a lawyer in our town ran for state political office. He started in state legislature as a man with ideals and working on behalf of the people who elected him. He ended up in jail for trying to subvert state law and line his own pockets. I don't believe he started out a crook, but he ended up that way.

I think that throughout life we are presented choices. How we choose can complicate our life and drive it into behaviors we had never contemplated. On the other hand we have the remarkable ability to learn from our behaviors and choose to change our life style. Those that do possess a remarkable insight and strength. Some fall victim to their behaviors and values and say they cannot change. It isn't that we cannot change, it is that we choose not to. So then, what makes us so unique? It is our minds ability to be influenced by our surroundings, our up bringing, our own observations of life unfolding, our own interpretation of life's events. Those are unique.

I do not think that God chose us to be unique among the creatures we reside with on this planet earth. I think it evolved. To a certain degree all creatures have the ability to learn, and we see most of them exhibiting a thought process. Much of the behavior of creatures on this earth is learned. Dogs are not programed to fend for themselves even though they descend from wolves. We know that domesticated dogs turned loose in the countryside can starve to death if some human doesn't care for them. Yet other dogs born in natural settings and left to develop hunting and survival skills will fend for themselves and live in spite of the lack of human intervention. That tells me that genetic programing of species can be altered. So whatever set of circumstances existed a million years ago when some forebear of ours stood up right and walked for the first time the behavior was learned. So it goes.

It would be a mistake to say then that all behavior normal and abnormal is learned from external events. Pain can alter our behavior, we walk with a limp. Psychological pain can alter our behavior. The chemistry in our body can alter our behavior, so it is too simple to say everything is learned. Some behavior is in response to some set of stimuli. In the broad spectrum though most of what we does is learned and influenced by some choosing mechanism.

Life is neither good nor evil. It just is. Our interpretation, our choices, and our ability to alter our surroundings make for opportunity. The more we become interactive with the whole world, the more we are exposed to, the greater the pattern of choices. We find many helping others once they realize choices. We find our selves coming to the aid of others in the world in need because we choose to. Our behavior is always the product of a decision, even if that decision is influenced by abnormalities or events beyond our control, out behavior is the product of a decision. Let us hope for the future sake of mankind that we make good decisions.

Dreary Days

2010-02-05T15:43:00.003-06:00

The weather in Paragould is overcast, cool and wet. Oh, so wet. We had between 8 & 12 inches of snow a week ago. I was icy and difficult to get around as we do not have the snow removal equipment in this area that other areas of the country have. I had to laugh at an article in the local paper describing how thrilled the county was to have purchased two used fertilizer spreaders at a local FHA auction in January. They would be put to good use spreading sand on the roads and intersections. Sand! Heck we spread sand on the roads when I was a kid, what happened to salt? Well wouldn't you know it they did not have a vibratory device to keep the sand sinking down to the outflow so it would spread. As a result when the equipment was brought into play during the recent snow storm a man had to walk along side the spreader hitting the sides with a shovel to get the sand to settle to the bottom of the spreader. Ain't technology wonderful.

The dogs go out and play and come back dirty, wet and want in the house. We use towels to dry them as best we can. The dogs are now used to it and patiently stand in line to get toweled off before entering the house. I wonder what the neighbors think? Molly and Lily dry quickly and their coats are so rich that the dirt sheds rapidly and in an hour they are nice and white. Of course the couch is taking a beating, but what the hell.

The weekend is upon us. It is supposed to be cool and overcast all weekend. Perhaps this is a weekend to get into the trailer and go through the old files I have of our past history and sort and toss. I have our financial records back to 1987 when I moved to Arkansas. I'll create a three-ring binder that holds our W-2's and tax records, but pitch everything else. Might be kind of nice, turn on a basketball game, make some coffee and take care of a nagging chore.

Such is the rhythm of our days right now. Not much to do but stay warm, stay dry and tackle the chores that won't come to mind in May.

So much to bitch about!

2010-01-26T12:48:00.002-06:00

I listen to NPR radio when I drive to and from work. Usually I end up listening to part of the news and some talk show material before I get to work, then All Things Considered on the way home. I get frustrated. There is so much discussion about what we should be doing to correct the ills in our society you forget how much is right.

I listened to a program about how the Prison Guard Union in California grew from a small group to one of the strongest, most well funded unions in the state. As a result they lobby hard for increased sentences, "Strike Three" sentences and anything they can to do maintain or increase the prison population in California. They lobby hard against the legalization of drugs. Why? So they can keep their union membership up and fully employed. Seems like the wrong kind of motivation to me.

Another program talked about how Bail Bondsmen lobby against ROR time for petty crimes. How they charge a fee and if a criminal skips they don't pay the full amount of the bond to the justice system. Seems awfully unfair and unscrupulous to me.

Today economists speculated on what the U.S. has to do to recovery from its financial crisis.

But, I can travel to Tennessee if I want to and don't need anyone's permission. I can write just about anything I want to on this blog and don't have to ask anyone's permission. I can own a firearm, I can drive across this country without fearing police interference. I can vote and even though it may not count for much I have confidence that it will be counted. I can write the government and criticize the leaders, and I can attend a city council meeting if I want. I can participate in the running of this country and my views may not be in the majority but they get represented. While I do not like what I have to go through for healthcare my needs are addressed.

Everyonce and a while it is good to sit back and reflect on just what our forefathers created. It is up to us to insure that creation stays in place untarnished and still able to respond to the needs of its citizens.

History Revisited

2010-01-21T04:04:00.003-06:00

Someone once said, "If we do not learn from history we are bound to repeat it." I am getting close to the end of a book titled "The March of Folly" by Barbara Tuchman. In the book she traces three periods in history and how countries or governmental agencies continued to act with folly in the face of what appears to be evidence to the contrary. I found the first section of her book to be of little interest, it seemed her point was made early and why read on. However when you get to the section about Europe in the Middle Ages it becomes interesting.

Tuchman covers a period of time from 1470 to early 1500's. It seemed that the Catholic Church had a number of Popes who were more secular than spiritual. Lavish spending, mistresses, debauchery and the building of grand edifices seemed to characterize the period. During that time there developed a lot of pressure from other religious persons decrying the immorality of the church hierarchy. It eventually lead to the rebellion of Martin Luther and the break away religious sects many that exist to this day. The selling of dispensations to the wealthy to fund the Popes lavish styles and building of grand cathedrals was common place. Bishops positions were sold to royalty. In the face of growing and active resistance to the use of church assets for individual aggrandizement Pope after Pope seemed locked in to the course without consideration of how change would fundamentally alter the face of religion in the Western Hemisphere

The next period she writes about is Vietnam. Now this period I have some knowledge of. I was in the army from 1967 to 1971 during the growth of civil unrest in the United States. Once again it appears we did not learn the lessons of history. In the face of the French experience of frustration and inability to control the country we simply picked up where they left of and had no further success than they. I found the book infuriatingly accurate and I've not heard anyone in years say anything good about Vietnam. We required a whole generation of men to go and fight in a war we could not win. They did not return from Vietnam in honor but were spate on by their countrymen. It is a period of shame, government deceit, a president getting caught in political expediency and not being able to extricate himself from the war that was pulling him down.

What about today. We are in Afghanistan. The reason, the threat of terror against our citizens. Russia expended considerable assets trying to break the war lords of Afghanistan and ended up fighting a war similar to Vietnam. It became a heavy economic toll and unpopular among their citizenry. Oh, we are using a little different argument. We don't intend to take the country over, we just want to develop a democracy with a stable government that will handle the terrorists for us. Ain't gonna happen.

We ended up in Iraq due to the arrogance of our leaders and their bellicose beliefs that we are entitled to control the rest of the world. That has been thrown in our face and as a country we are despised in other parts of the world for our arrogance and belief that we are owed. I do not support the war in Afghanistan. The billions we are pouring in to the loss of American servicemen could better be spent on developing technology that prevents terrorists from entering our country and killing our citizens. Either that or just destroy the country, make it inhabitable for 10,000 years and don't worry about a home for terrorists in that place. History has shown that you shouldn't be where you are not wanted. We on the other hand, take the position that we will help you develop a democracy in an country that has no history of it, nor do I know of any movement or agitation by the people to develop a democracy. But no, let's have it the American way.

Bush started us on another road of folly, Obama is going to perpetuate it. Unless he does what he said at the end of a year and that is give a serious reevaluation to the effectiveness of our effort. In the meantime there will be American mothers and fathers lamenting the death of a loved one in a country that doesn't want their presence. Afghanistan is lead by men who have a history of corruption and self-service. We are mired again in a war we should not be in.

When will we ever learn?

Lessons of Mistakes

2010-01-10T19:29:00.004-06:00

Perhaps it is the internet with its tremendous capability of communicating information widely in an instance. I frequently received emails that purport to provide a huge number of facts about the background of President Obama. Almost all that I have seen have concerned Obama's roots in Islam, his ties to socialism, to radical political figures, to extreme religious views, to extreme everything. It is disgusting. I have never seen a public figure appear to raise such antagonistic fervor as Obama.

I received an email from a friend with a huge listing of supposed facts that show Obama to be all of the above. One fact even mentioned something about the anti-Christ. I currently live in the South and I start to wonder if what I am seeing is due to the racial bias that exists in the South. However, the friend who sent me the email is from the north and I have no idea where the email originated from.

I scanned the email and immediately became incensed with the language of the writer. It is apparent that the sentences were calculated to create a hostile reaction to Mr. Obama. It is also apparent that the so called "facts" were statements taken out of context, were statements made on supposition with no accredited references, and some were just obvious fabrications.

One statement told of Mrs. Obama's Senior Thesis at Princeton being restricted and not given out to the press. The way the sentence was written made one think there were things in the article that would support the idea that the Obama's are not what they present themselves to be. It turns out to be true, the thesis was restricted - by Princeton. The Obama campaign made a copy of the thesis available to the press. After that action Princeton opened up access. The few remarks I read from the thesis show a very smart, intellectually astute woman writing about how white institutions like Princeton alter the ideals of black students. No shit!

Any public official is open to vilification. They are sitting ducks. Take a course on Central American politics like I did you might become a radical subversive. Take a course on the great religions of the world and you might become sympathetic to Islam or Buddha. Go to a school that has a course on the Qur'an and you become a terrorist.

What President Obama appears to have done is responded to growing up like a kid. He appears to have thoughtfully studied many subjects to learn. His values are no more rooted in extremism than mine.

The people that write the trash I've seen come in my emails are stupid. They are narrow minded bigots who are intellectually dysfunctional. They lack the imagination of a slug. They are probably control freaks who are challenged by diversity and the open discussion that intelligence can create. The people who pass along this information as factual fall into the same category as the people I mentioned above. Imbeciles all!

Can Time be right?

2010-01-08T15:47:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I took my wife to a dental appointment. While sitting in the waiting room I started going through some Time magazines catching up on items of interest. Now, because I'm in a waiting room I usually do not read articles closely as I don't like getting caught having to put down a magazine before I finished the article. So I may be guilty of not completely understanding the article I read.

The article concerned 401(k)'s and seemed to be saying that as an investment device they are not performing as intended. In addition the author(s) seemed to be saying that 401(k)'s were never meant to be a replacement for defined pension plans or to replace social security. In fact the article went on to suggest that the government should develop a system that pays a pension to every citizen at some predetermined age.

I guess we are seeing a flock of authors who seem to feel that U.S. citizens are entitled to retirement funds regardless of their contribution. It also purports 401(k)'s are not providing people with enough value because they are tied to market conditions and of course those have dropped severely in the last year.

Hmmm! I went through the initial start up of 401's and I do not ever recall anyone coming out and saying that these funds were meant to add to pension plans or were a replacement for pension plans. The article is correct to say that companies started using the funds originally set aside for pensions to fund operations. That is true. However, if 401(k)'s were meant as added perks for executives then don't you think the government would not have required the funds be available to all employees instead of a select few in the upper echelons. In addition, upper management was limited on how much they could contribute because of the tax deferment clause, and that there had to be some average savings rate across the board for all employees. I find it hard to imagine how an employee thought they weren't getting something they didn't have before. If the company did not have a pension plan covering all employees, and some didn't how could those employees not view a 401(k) as a retirement program. Where the view that there was a benefit to the plan was viewed was in the possibility of companies matching the employees contribution, then you are getting free money. Even then wouldn't the average "Joe" in the work place think they had a retirement fund.?

What I really object to is the author(s) trying to create the idea that the average citizen is due a retirement program. We aren't due anything in this country except life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We aren't guaranteed happiness, only the pursuit of it. I have maintained for some time that the government should regulate banking, medical coverage, and defense of our welfare. Beyond that, we should be free to pursue whatever economic return we can manage and if we can't build a nest egg then at least a social safety net should provide a floor, but it shouldn't allow me to travel to Europe.

I may have misunderstood the article, but I found it confusing and creating the thought of let "big daddy" take care of me. I'll take care of myself, thank you.

Tough to live with

2010-01-03T11:24:00.003-06:00

I enjoy the holiday season. I particularly like the college bowl games. I'm sure I spend too much time watching them, but besides the game I like the stories we learn concerning players. There are always some issues that cause controversy, both on and off the field. There are also lessons to be learned that instruct us on how people have to live their lives.

Yesterday was "stinker" day. Most of the bowl games I've watched have been well played, highly contested, and some real spectacular plays. However there are always a few games that you wonder why the teams are there and what their purpose is? Yesterday was such a day. The University of South Carolina, coached by Steve Spurrier stunk up the field against UConn. However, during the season one of UConn's players was killed, number 6. When the Connecticut team entered the field of play one of the players was carrying the dead teammates jersey and it was prominently displayed for all to see. A fitting tribute to a fallen comrade. When the game was over and UConn had won the jersey was carried around the field in front of the cheering fans as a final tribute. Warriors all and well played. On the other hand USC stunk the field up. They showed none of the strength and skill they had displayed on the few occasions I watched them play during the season.

Then we get to Oklahoma State and Old Miss. Gad, neither team wanted to win. Right at the very end the defense for Old Miss scored a go ahead touchdown and then the team came back with another score making the game 21 - 7 Old Miss. But that happened right at the end of the game and until then both teams were ineffective, incompetent, and boring. It wasn't a tough, hard fought defensive battle. It was lackadaisical. Later in life the men who played in that game won't have much to relive. The Old Miss alum will be able to say they didn't play well, but they played well enough to win. I don't know what the OSU guys will recall. However, it was a day they collectively stunk up the field.

Arkansas and Eastern Carolina University could it get worse. The one significant situation concerns the ECU field goal kicker. Twice in regulation he had the opportunity to put the Pirates ahead with a field goal, he kicked wide left, then shanked it wide right. He had plenty of leg, just the wrong direction. Then the game goes into overtime. ECU losses the coin toss and Arkansas elects defense, which is the proper call in college overtime. ECU struggles, but comes up short. Finally on 4th down ECU tries another field goal. Surely if the kicker was wide left, then wide right he should've figured out the proper direction, but no, the ball is wide right. Arkansas makes their attempt, and finally kick a 37 yard field goal in overtime to win the game.

Just think of the FG kicker for ECU, and what he has to live with. He was a senior so there will be no chances to redeem himself. He will carry that thought of three missed field goals throughout life. While it should not greatly effect him, after all it is only a game, it will. At reunions, at gatherings, and late in the night when he should be sleeping the thought of how he let his team down will enter his mind. I hope he has the maturity to deal with it and not let it become an important factor in his life. After all, next year I won't recall that Arkansas beat East Carolina, it will fade from some of the fans memories. Hopefully all will have the maturity to treat it for what it was, a bad few moments in time that only decided a game, that's all a game.

So ended the "stink day." There'll be others.

Whilst I'm on the subject of retirement

2009-12-30T14:58:00.003-06:00

I had an interesting exchange with the social security agent last week. By the way, Social Security is to be commended for the customer service focus their employees have. I have not talked to a person on the phone or dealt with an agent in person who was not courteous, polite, and helpful. A far cry from the usual stereotype we imagine when dealing with government employees.

During the course of our conversation I explained my own reasons for not wishing to retire now, or when I hit the full benefits age of 66. Frankly, I enjoy my work too much and still feel the thrill and energy derived from the challenge. This person's comments to me were he'd seen a number of people delay retirement only to pass away before they collected their contributed portion of the taxes, or their employer's contribution. He told me that it is estimated that at full benefit you get what you paid in in taxes back in the first three years of collection. You get back what your employer paid in during the years 4-6. His ending comment was you want to make sure you get what you paid in before you die.

Well, let's examine that. Suppose I had not built up a nest egg, that the only source of income I would derive would be from social security. Perhaps I still owed on a home, credit cards, personal loans on a boat, motorcycle or some such item. If I retired at age 62 my retirement income would be $1100 per month. I couldn't make it. I could not survive.

The real issue is each person is responsible for their own decisions. While I've heard financial experts explain that if you start drawing at age 62 and live to age 85 you will draw a larger sum of money than if you wait till age 65 and draw till age 85. So what? What if your monthly income is not sufficient to support your financial needs during that period. What kind of anxiety and stress will that create not only on the person but his/her family? I don't particularly care if I get my tax money back. I care more about being able to support myself and my wife, to be able to do more than just subsist than I care about the total amount of money I get over 23 years as opposed to 20 years. I am out to maximize my cash flow not get my tax money back. I don't have use of that tax money now, nor did I have in my earning years. Why should I be concerned about getting that money back when to do so wouldn't accomplish my aims in retirement.

It just goes to show that you really need to understand your needs. You have to understand the best way to fulfill or accomplish those needs. Financial counselors who advocate long term benefits over short term needs are not necessarily providing the best advice. You really need to look at the streams of income you will receive upon retirement and whether or not those streams will be sufficient for your needs. That's the decision point.

Urban and I have the same problem

2009-12-30T13:25:00.002-06:00

I just finished reading an article on CNN by a writer discussing why Urban Meyer, Head Coach of the Florida Gator football team, changed his decision from quitting to taking an indefinite leave. Essentially the pressures of the work created health problems. But in the article the writer also felt Coach Meyer had come to a decision that his coaching days would extend beyond his 5oth year. Urban Meyer's dilemma surfaced during a conversation between he and Steve Spurrier head coach of the University of South Carolina. During a dinner conversation Meyer asked Spurrier why he hadn't quit before he was 60. Spurrier told him that when he was Meyer's age he never thought he'd coach into his 60's. Then the real issue came out, "What else am I going to do" Spurrier stated. Therein lies the crux of the issue.

I am not rich. I do not have a six-figure job. My social security check will probably represent over 50% of my income in my retirement years. My goal when I was a young man was to retire at age 50 and spend the rest of my life fishing, hunting, and enjoying life. Now I am 65 and don't know when I will retire.

Money is an issue. I don't have much debt. Our debt consists of a mortgage on a piece of rental property and a home equity loan that I used to renovate our log cabin. Between the two the payments would be about $600 a month. Not bad. Our living expenses are low, taxes and insurance probably average about another $400 a month. Social security for both my wife and I will probably yield $2500 a month, another $380 in a retirement from Case, say $600 a month in rent income and maybe a little draw from my investments and I can get to around $4000 a month without too much trouble. So net living expenses could be $2500 to $3000 a month. That isn't too bad.

The problem is, what am I going to do? I have a work shop, I have a lot of tools, and Terry keeps my "honey do" list quite long. I now have a boat, a canoe, and I have guns for hunting. I haven't fished in years, I haven't hunted in years. I dream of doing both, but I haven't done them for quite some time. I have a nice set of golf clubs, but I only play golf once or twice a year.

Listening to others, reading about Urban Meyer's dilemma and I have come to understand what I have done to myself. I have taken my work into my life. Work defines who I am. All of my adult life I have lead organizations and managed people to achieve some outcome. I am very good at it. I have built self-sustaining organizations. I have provided people who worked in my organizations the opportunity to participate, to become part of the success, and to grow and develop their own careers. My interest has been in solving problems. I lie awake at night thinking and devising methods to overcome issues and enhance the outcome for the organization. When I work I have no hours. If I need to be in early I am. If I need to stay late I do. Nights and weekends my mind turns to the issues, the opportunities, and the outcomes. My workdays do not fit a routine or a schedule, I've never allowed them to.

My youngest daughter has built a wonderful life devoted to her family. Yet, the genes run deep. I know she gets caught up in the mental busyness of work. She doesn't sleep well because her mind turns to the issues. Yet, she does maintain a scheduled work day, in by 8 out by 5. My work day begins when I want it to and ends when I want it to. That is the magic of my job and what I enjoy. However, when home on a weekend, or as now between Christmas and New Years I find my ambition stymied. I don't do a lot of work in my shop, my "honey do" list gets ignored or feebly worked on. I can feel a restlessness and concern of what I should be doing. My health becomes an issue, aches and pains I don't notice when I'm working now make me feel old. I sometimes feel like I'm just sitting around waiting to die. I'm only 65 for cripes sake, and I'm in good health. I should have 20+ years ahead of me, many of them with me able to physically do things. Yet I find myself lethargic and worried.

I enjoy it when my wife is off and we can do things together. I don't feel so restless and directionless. Perhaps that is the curse create for ourselves when we allow work to become part of the meaning of life, instead of using work to allow us to develop meaning in our life. I don't know the answer, but I do know and understand Urban Meyer's dilemma. It is a problem many face when they reach that stage in life when success isn't the issue anymore. It becomes more personal than that. Good luck Urban Meyer, we'll both need some.

A New Pet Peeve

2009-12-28T06:22:00.003-06:00

I am sitting here this morning looking at Face Book and seeing what is going on with the few people I maintain as friends. I also got a nice email from a person I work with that was a cute message with snowmen and sprigs of holly decorating the message. The content hoped my day was filled with the little things that occur that make the day seem to flow and be pleasant. It had a religious point to it, and I don't object to that. What I do object to is at the end of the message the sentences urging me to send this message on to someone you might be thinking of, or care about. Even that isn't too bad as I do have some friends I would like to tell them I am thinking about them and I care about them. However, then comes the threat. If you don't pass this on it means you don't care, or you don't believe in God's love, or some such threat. That pisses me off. I delete those emails regardless of content. I've seen emailed chain letters that threaten your economic status, your mental health, or you relationship with God if you don't pass them on. I delete them, every damn one of them.

This time of year I've heard parents say to children, "If you don't behave Santa won't bring you any gifts." What a hell of a thing to tell a kid. Why don't we just blame our lack of ability to teach, model, instruct or discipline behavior on some third party. I know, like God. If you don't behave you'll go to hell. That'll get the little buggers into the behaving mode.

Anyway it really makes me angry to get messages that imply that I am not a worthy person, or don't care, or whatever fault they emphasize when they do not know me. I might pass a really nice message on if I wasn't threatened.

Stop and think of the implication.

2009-11-18T07:03:00.002-06:00

I recently received and email from an old acquaintance about sending a Christian Christmas card to the ACLU. The idea was to flood them with mail that would signify displeasure with the law suits they file about the separation of church and state. The implication was that the ACLU was controlled by atheists. Bunk. I am sure there are lawyers and employees with the ACLU that have their own belief system and probably some of it is rooted in the Christian beliefs.

I was struck by the implication that we need to have government backing to believe in God. The history of man centers around a belief system often quietly expressed in the home or close neighborhood of like minded individuals. There are thousands of families who quietly light a Menorah during their holy days. There are thousands of Christian families that gather about a tree and sing carols that reflect their belief. Do we need to have that expression on court houses, money, and as a banner that proclaims, yes people it is OK to be a Christian in the United States.

If we do, we are pretty morally bankrupt.

Growing old isn't so bad.

2009-11-02T14:14:00.003-06:00

For some reason today seemed kind of special. I went to our local farm supply store. I like it there. Perhaps because it speaks to the out of doors. I looked at the heavy bib coveralls. I didn't buy, but I may. I looked at the cedar bedding for the dogs. Again I didn't buy, but I may in the future. I over heard an older lady at the checkout, we would refer her to as a country gal, talking about something she had purchased that needed to be charged before use. It did not work right and she was in to get a replacement. She wanted the clerk to open it up and see that the charger gave the proper signals. I suppose she wanted assurance that it worked before she carted it home. For some reason it struck me as good.

As I left an older man was getting out of a disheveled old car. He had a paper in one hand that looked like a check. Perhaps going in to pay a bill, it is the 2nd of the month. He had on old work cloths and a big old floppy brimmed had that spoke of gardens, pastures and such. I just had the impression that he was going in to take care of obligations. There is something American about that and he sure wasn't rich. However, I had the feeling he was making it the best way he knew how and didn't much concern himself with those things geyond his control or experience. Not a bad way to grow old.

Someone screwed up!

2009-10-30T07:40:00.002-05:00

Years ago I read a comic book that contained the fable of "rain, rain, go away, come again some other day." The story dealt with a person who said that little poem whenever they were doing something that rain would interfere with. The comic closed with the person looking out the window while there were reports of massive flooding, that rain was covering all of the land. The narrator, they had those in comics you know, said that the end was coming as this was the "other day" that everyone had asked rain to be moved to.

Well, right now it feels like that "other day." It has rained steadily since 7 PM last night and it is 8 AM now. No let up, just a steady downpour. The thing is, it hasn't been a light rain, it has been quie heavy. So here I sit with two young dogs who would like to go out and play, rain up the bazooka, and it appears to be the "other day."

I forget that I try

2009-10-26T04:27:00.003-05:00

My whole work life has been about overcoming obstacles and problems. I've been good at that and made a living creating new methods and battling status quo. Yet at home I seem to forget that. Things will mentally defeat me and hold me hostage until I finally drag my self to the battlefield and start to fashion an attack.

I have let our log home go until I have log rot that requires extensive repairs. I had to reface some of the logs myself and because I could not imagine how to do that or what was involved in the work I was held hostage for several years until I attempted the task and found that it wasn't as bad as I thought.

I have laid awake night thinking about the task of insulating the bottom of the trailer and how best to do that. Yesterday a major victory was won with the help of our daughter's live in boy friend. Zeb is his name and he is a hard worker, I mean a real hard worker. I was doing the work myself, but I am slow, I end up thinking too much about what I am doing and often over thinking the project. Zeb had installed insulation before and had an idea of what to do, little things that I would not have thought of. The insulation we were installing was what is called faced insulation meaning it has a plastic and paper facing that you can staple to the studs or floor joists. I was trying to be exact in the length of the batt and ended up cutting off about 18 inches on the other side of the trailer as I completed a course. Zeb just extended one batt about halfway and then rolled up what was left over, tucked it into the joist and outside rail and stapled it in place saving the time and effort of cutting the insulation.

Regardless, I did help him and can feel it this morning. But we did over half of the underside of the trailer and it was good workmanship. The trailer will be very snug in the upcoming winter and cooler in the summer for our efforts. I used to view the trailer as a temporary living situation, now I think I'll have it re-sided one of these years and a roof built over it and it will be our guest lodging, not that we often get many guests.

The mental pressure is easing on getting the trailer done. Zeb may work on it this week and hopefully we'll finish by next weekend. Then underpin the trailer which shouldn't be too bad and it is done with the exception of redoing the interior. But I can do that a little along. It is also the kind of work I am willing to undertake and isn't beyond my physical capability. The insulation on the bottom of the trailer was beyond my physical ability. I've encountered an annoying inner ear problem that is getting better but hasn't gone away. As a result when I lie on my back and tilt my head back, which is the position one has to get into installing insulation, I get dizzy. Yesterday I did install some insulation so at least I tried, but I did get dizzy and my stomach got upset. So I wasn't of much use other than helping load the insulation into the area between the joists and keeping the stapler loaded. Oh well, it is getting done and I am feeling so much better about our housing condition.

One of the negatives about growing old

2009-10-24T15:21:00.003-05:00

Growing old forces our perceptions to change. Thirty years ago I was invincible, my friends and contemporaries occasionally suffered health problems but most were colds, flus, back problems, seldom serious. Serious happened to other people. Now things are different, the odds are catching up.

A colleague, only in his thirties has cancer. He is having complications and the cancer is active throughout his body. He is undergoing chemo and probably will go into remission and remain cancer free for some years, but the risk is elevated.

An old friend I worked with at Case years ago has incurable prostrate cancer. The Dr.'s are treating him with a new drug that stops testosterone production that puts the cancer into remission but the doctors have told him average survival is between 1 and 8 years. The hope is that new treatments will prolong his life and he will die of something else besides cancer.

I talked to my sister today. A dear friend of hers from the Milwaukee area suffers from emphysema, and asthma among other issues. In addition an aneurysm along her aorta is getting larger and there is nothing they can do as she would not survive surgery.

My sister's husband is suffering leg pain from swelling in his left leg. They are going to a Dr. to see what can be done, but he is 86, so I'm worried about that outcome.

My contemporaries and older siblings are encountering health problems that are causing concern. People get angry with us when we talk about our health problems, but it is starting to surround us.

I hope I go like my grandma, go to bed one night and not wake up.

Life is tough, but it is still filled with magic. So I hope others won't think too ill of me if I speak of these issues. We all have to face these time, I just hope I have the grace to handle it well.

Arrogance makes Ignorance

2009-10-24T04:47:00.002-05:00

Dick Cheney must be unbelievably arrogant. When asked a question by a reporter several years ago concerning polling information that indicated the majority of Americans were against the war in Iraq he responded, "So what?" I guess his point was that American national interests outweighed the will of the American people. That sounds like a contradiction.

Now Cheney, who was part of a fairly despised administration, it running around the country holding himself as the spokesperson for a humiliated political organization demanding we send more troops to Afghanistan. He has criticized the current administration as timid. Personally I think Obama's evaluation process is sound. Why would we want to put one more American life at stake when we have no assurances the political governance of the country we are fighting in will be stable going forward, is even is today.

Afghanistan isn't only a source of terrorism but a major producer of heroin. We want to sacrifice American lives without thinking out how the country will be shaped when we leave. C'mon Cheney, your arrogance has reduced your arguments to ignorance. Go back to Wyoming or wherever you came from and crawl back in your hole.

Recent Thoughts

2009-10-23T05:44:00.003-05:00

I am now corresponding with three persons who have had or a loved one has had a bowel resection. The earliest article on this blog concerns my trek through recovery at home. I could not find any information on home recovery after that type of surgery. I did have a support group consisting of my children and two sisters. I talked to my two sisters daily. It helped that they listened and provided information on their experiences and cheered me on. One daughter is a nurse and helped provide research and information. What I was really after was what I was experiencing a common occurrence during recovery or was it a problem. I decided to write a log of my home recovery experience.

I am delighted that it apparently is helping some people. The article is rather blunt and is not the kind of thing one might think of as polite conversation. Bowel resection isn't polite though. I just added a counter to this blog to see how many hits I actually get because I'm sure not everyone who reads the article comments. The article remains at the top of the page on the Google page if you enter Bowel Resection Home Recovery. That means it must be of interest to some. That is a very satisfying feeling. I finally did something that is making a difference for some people in trouble. I am happy.

Morning Meanderings

2009-10-06T07:44:00.003-05:00

Our daily walk, the dogs and I, began at 6:30 AM. Light was just making its presence known. I guess my mind was in one of those reflective modes that leads to no conclusions but certainly taxes ones mental capacity.

If God is so benevolent why is life so difficult?

If God is a loving God, why does he create a test that must be passed before one finds salvation? Or is it just Christianity that sets up the test?

Why do persons who fervently believe in God and have faith in the ever after use fear as a binding philosophy? And, why do they believe they are the only persons with the keys to heaven?

If God created the heavens and the earth then aren't all creatures results of his creation? If so shouldn't they all go to heaven?

As I walked pondering these weighty questions as I have done so often over the years, I came upon a small Vole making its way across a mowed section of the yard in the island area. I stopped and watched it. At first I wondered what was it doing out in the open, unprotected by overhanging grass? I thought it might be feeding on seeds, but then as I watched it was pretty intent on negotiating the broad expanse of ground. So where was it going and why? I also thought, well with one stomp of my foot I could end its existence. I chose not to. It wasn't near the house, wasn't even headed in that direction, so leave it be. The dogs were with me, and I wondered if they might happen upon the small creature and devour it. I did not try to interfere as I have a fairly strong belief in letting the events of nature unfold. That pass through the yard the dogs missed the Vole.

Now some minutes had passed and we were coming around again, the dogs sniffing and snooping as they do. As I approached the island area I began scouring the ground looking for the Vole. I saw it, it had made it to within a foot of the deep grass and was scurrying just as quickly as its little legs would negotiate the grass. I walked by it. The dogs were on the south side of the pine that makes the island the island and the Vole was near the deep cover on the north side of the pine. I thought if the dogs go around the pine they will surely spot the Vole and a snack will be realized by one of them. I looked back over my shoulder as I rounded the pine, the dogs were at the base of the pine sniffing. Had the Vole left a scent trail? The dogs turned back to the south away from the Vole and followed me out of the island area. The next pass I made past that same area showed no Vole, it was apparently in the deep grass, safe, perhaps scouting out some succulent seeds.

Now, back to God. We are an ingenious species. We create mechanical things that carry us on roads, on the air, and across the water. Our knowledge comes through questioning our surroundings and our relationship with those surroundings. Therefore, it must also be natural to question our relationship with God. If not our relationship with God then certainly our purpose and relationship with the world. We learn by discovery, but we haven't discovered the true nature of God. Could that be because there is no "Old Father" figure depicted by our forebears as God. Does God evolve? A great theological writer, Paul Tillich, once wrote on the evolving nature of God. I think it is more about the evolving nature of Man and his reconciliation of Man's concept of God to our current reality. A thousand years ago persons who might inject a vaccine into a person to prevent illness, or concoct a drug to overcome a health problem were burned at the stack because of their power of sorcery. Today they are scientists helping relieve the ills of mankind. So perhaps God doesn't evolve, it is just our perception of God that evolves to make sense of our environment.

I am getting old. These questions are becoming important. More important is to discover the answers to these questions. I don't have a lot of time left to discover those answers. Then again, if there aren't any answers how frustrating is our existence. I sometimes admire those who rely on strong Faith to help them. I have strong Faith, I just haven't found any beliefs that I can rationally put that Faith in. Why would God withhold those answers from us. What need does God have for us to show Faith. Perhaps our Faith should be in what we can deal with and really doesn't make any difference as to what that Faith is in.

So do I believe in God? I do believe in a Power greater than I. Some may call that power God. After all, that power did relieve me of the urge to drink and that is a miracle by itself. God has been good to me and my family throughout my life. I have met good people in my travels and work. So I guess at this point I won't worry about the outcome of life because it probably is being realized as we grow older. Like many things, the answers are probably in our surroundings, I just can't see them yet. I hope I get the wisdom to view those answers before I check out.

Trash talk

2009-09-06T20:02:00.002-05:00

I do not like trash talk. Friday a very good football player for a team was suspended for the entire year because he sucker punched an opposing team player, and the game was over. It turns out the opposing team player was taunting him, or talking trash. I have watched people talk trash and I won't join in. I find trash talkers lack class. Bravado is their measure of success and while trash may be viewed by some as trying to get into someone else's head, I think it just indicates lack of respect and can create a dangerous situation.

Many murders are committed by family members. Often the trouble starts with verbal confrontation. Perhaps someone is trying to intimidate another family member. Perhaps they are angry, under the influence of some chemical that lowers there inhibition and good judgment. Then words come out. Words can be inflammatory, they can evoke strong emotional reaction that could lead to someone attacking, getting a weapon, or committing an act of revenge.

Teasing is a form of taunting. I have told people close to me, beware, teasing can lead to an angry confrontation and words can be spoken that like the bell once rung cannot be unrung. In the emotion of the moment people may seek retaliation and say things they never intended to say. Like the bell, a hurt once applied cannot be unhurt. I may pass if off, I may say it's okay after an apology but the truth is it is not OK. Sometimes the hurt is minor and can be dismissed. Other times the hurt wounds and while we may carry on the relationship it is altered. It is changed.

Barry Sanders, whom I feel could've been the greatest running back in the NFL was nothing but class. I watched him strike fear into his opponents. I heart his opponents speak of him with respect and admiration. Yet you never saw Barry Sanders get in an opponents face. When he scored a touchdown for Detroit he got up, ran back to the sidelines and would not accept fist pumps, fist bumps, or any other demonstrative show of immature ignorance. He had performed his job, he had done what he was paid to do. It is a shame that he cut his career short. Barry never played with a competent offensive line, he labored on a team that rarely won, and certainly was not a power. Yet without a line, and little help from his team he was recognized as one of the truly great runners. Had he any support there is no doubt in my mind that Barry would be the greatest runner of all time.

All that talent and class to boot. I have long felt that those who resort to relentless teasing, trash talking and that kind of bravado suffer from underlying inferiority feelings and mask that insecurity with aggressive behavior. The problem is, often they are very good people who are worth knowing but we never get to know the really good side because of all the smoke screen bullshit they pump out. I pity them.

So the guy who threw the sucker punch is out for the year. The opposing player who taunted will be disciplined internally the coach says. I say kick his ass off the team for a year too. He is a true asshole. I listen to family members around me make fun of people, tease relentlessly and say things that if the other person could hear them would hurt their feelings. I did that too, years ago. I try very hard to make a conscious effort to not make fun or belittle people. I do not talk trash. I've done that and had times I couldn't back up my trash and suffered the embarrassment of eating crow. For the past number of years I try very hard to treat everyone I meet with respect. To do that, I have found you have to adopt that behavior internally, you have to truly feel that way. It makes life so much more worthwhile.

Taunting, trash, harsh teasing have no place in our world. Those that practice it are bums.

Medical necessity guidelines

2009-08-28T19:29:00.001-05:00

Hmm! Look at this:

Coverage process-contractual definition of medical necessity, which includes the following criteria for establishing the medical necessity of a service: appropriate for symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment of a condition, illness, or injury; provided for diagnosis, direct care, or treatment; in accordance with the standards of good medical practice; not primarily for the convenience of the member or member's provider; the most appropriate supply or level of service that can be safely provided to the member. To determine what services meet this definition, Highmark has an information-gathering process that includes systematic reviews of published literature, a consulting program with practicing physicians, review of coverage decisions by Highmark managers, review by an independent Medical Affairs Committee.

This is a cut and paste from a site I Googled. Read the last sentence. Sounds like a constant review looking for ways or reasons to tighten a code. Kind of cold.

A Private Sector Big Brother

2009-08-28T18:50:00.003-05:00

The debate on health care has turned to fear creation. Let's not have a debate or conversation, lets just say no and scare the hell out of the people who have insurance and feel a little insecure. Let's lie and say their are death squads, lets say that government will ration care. Lets create a fearful atmosphere that chokes off debate and the intelligent discussion of issues.

Two weeks ago I was hospitalized with an A-fib episode. It took 2 1/2 days to get the heartbeat straightened out. A week and a half later, today Friday August 28, 2009 I received a letter saying that my hospitalization meets the nationally recognized precertification procedures and therefore is certified. Which means insurance will cover the hospitalization. What if it had been a severe anxiety attack and I was fearful for my life. Would it have been certified? Who knows what the recognized national certification procedures are, I sure don't.

An employee of Arkansas Northeastern College who works for me is undergoing chemo treatment for a stage four cancer. The intravenous dose knocks him on his ass. The pills have their own side effects. Last week he had a pain in his left foot, it is a stress fracture of a bone in his foot brought on by the treatment. The guy has a lot of mental anguish. He is in his mid-30's. He has a daughter 3 years old, his wife is pregnant and due in October. The cancer has spread to two locations and is considered stage 4 even though each site by itself is stage 1 so it is a confusing issue. If it is truly stage 4 the five year survival rate is only 5%. A tremendous amount of mental anxiety yet you wouldn't know it.

Tuesday he was diagnosed with a blood clot in his lower right leg from the treatments. It is kind of like the shit is piling on. His doctor prescribed blood thinners, only he has to inject them because the oral type interact with his chemo. So he has a prescription for injection thinner and it is expensive, $2000. When he shows up at the Wal*Mart pharmacy he is told insurance will not approve the meds. It turns out that they have another source they use for the expensive stuff. So he has to go back to the doctor and fortunately the doctor has enough samples to tide him over until the prescription can arrive from the insurance company's source. Let's add a little more aggravation and mental stress to a guy who is already dealing with a life and death possibility.

It makes me wonder how in good conscience these assholes propagating the fear statements that have been debunked can make those statements. Hell we don't need death squads, they already exist. The rich will rule the day, the special interests groups will give up just enough so the politicians can claim a victory of sorts, and the American public will continue to put up with inadequate health care that is continually subjected to squeezing in the name of profits not care. Go to hell private sector.

Thoughts on some politicians.

2009-08-20T07:52:00.002-05:00

Yesterday before leaving the hospital a man came into my room representing the hospital. He wanted to know if I was being treated OK? Were hospital procedures followed, and was the staff attentive? The answer was yes. I am very pleased with the treatment by the staff at NEA hospital. However, this isn't about the qualities of a hospital at all. This is about politicians.

The man's name was Al Brodell. I asked him if he was any relation to Hubert Brodell. It turns out he was, Hubert was Al's father. I know Hubert Brodell. Hubert was the mayor of Jonesboro for many years. I was told by Al that his father recently turned 80 and had back surgery. Hubert is active spending time between Jonesboro and Florida. He volunteers for some group and works still in helping his community in a volunteer capacity.

Then this morning I read a disparaging letter directed at Sen. Barbara Boxer from California. I know the incident the letter refers to and have thought for a long time that Sen. Boxer is an arrogant person who I believe does not act in the best interests of her electorate, but marches to her own drumbeat. So what is the difference?

I think it is the difference in the contact with the folks how have placed their trust in the politician. I do not know Hubert Brodell well, I would not call us friends. I ran into him for a number of years at a variety of functions around Northeast Arkansas and we would talk from time to time, but I observed his actions in his community for many of the years I've lived in Arkansas. Hubert seemed to try to do the best for Jonesboro that he could. There were things that happened that favored Jonesboro over Paragould, and Hubert was not friend to all. That is the nature of politics. Hubert's actions almost always were for helping Jonesboro grow, attract more business or improve the quality of life of its citizens. The same is true for a longtime Mayor of Paragould, Charlie Partlow.

I know Charlie, not as a friend, but I used to bump into him around Paragould and we would talk and I observed his actions. I recall the time that Paragould thought it had gotten the shaft in the placement of Highway 67 coming north from Newport. Two buses were chartered by Paragould residents and they came to Newport to a Arkansas Highway Department hearing over the routing of the highway. I remember Charlie, red-face with anger having a decidedly heated conversation with Nick Wilson a State Senator from Pocahontas. Nick was responsible for getting the route moved out of Greene County to Lawerence and Randolph county, his constituency. Charlie took on the issue and defended it well even though in the end the powers to be left the route alone. Charlie Partlow once again always seemed to act in the best interests of his constituency.

I feel the same way about the current mayor of Paragould, Mike Gaskill. I know Mike. He used to be the Manager of Hays Grocery store in Paragould, and I've agitated him for years at various Paragould functions. I have been impressed that Mike seems to act with the welfare of his constituents in mind and seems to be an honorable person.

However it seems the higher up the ladder you go the more our elected officials succumb to the lure of power. Special interest groups that pump money into campaign funds hold sway. I do not believe government should intrude too far into our private lives. However in areas where they should the actions seem prostituted and end up making me feel like our politicians think we have deep pocket books that can fund the engines of special interests. I really would like to see term limits for federal officials. When it comes to federal elected officials I do really believe in the old saw, "throw the rascals out!"

Darn, darn, darn!`

2009-08-19T15:03:00.002-05:00

I know quite a bit about the operation of the human heart. Mine acts up. I have an irregular heart beat, it consists of something called premature ventricular contractions, pvcs and premature atrial contractions, pacs. I've had this condition for years although it was first diagnosed in 2000 at a Jackson, MS clinic. Once I was able to associate the sensation in my chest with what the doctor found on a EKG I realized I'd had that sensation for years before 2000. I did not give it much thought. As the result of the diagnosis in Jackson I underwent a heart cath procedure to see if I had blockage. I did not. So I was told the irregular heart beat is common and benign.

Fast forward to 2007, I underwent the stress of having a cancer diagnosis and successful removal of about six inches of my exhaust system to eliminate the cancer. Nonetheless to be told you had a malignant tumor creates a great deal of inner turmoil. Three months after the bowel resection I ended up in the local hospital with an A-fib episode which is a very irregular heartbeat. Once cleared up, I did take some medication for about a year until another heart specialist called an electrophysiologist or EP weaned me off the meds and I continued to march.

Monday morning, August 17 about midnight I woke up with that "old sensation." A-fib. I rolled over and went back to sleep, that is how numb you get to the problem after a while, and when it persisted for about 6 hours I told Terry that instead of going to work she and I were going to Jonesboro to the NEA Hospital emergency room. This is my fourth visit to this facility in as many years.

I was in A-fib and placed in observation for 24 hours. The problem still persisted after 24 hours, so I was admitted and moved to a private room. About 2:30 AM August 19 my heart converted to a good solid sinus rhythm. I was released and sent home with two new medications called rythmole, which I have taken before, and Cardizem which I have not taken before. I will probably be on these two drugs for the rest of my life. That is a sobering thought. I don't know why so much, Terry is a diabetic and takes insulin just ot stay alive. I take a blood pressure med and a cholesterol med, but I think of that as a part of life. I do not like the idea of a heart arrhythmia. Not that it is so scary, but I feel like I am being forced to give into age.

I am not happy with this situation, but quite honestly I did not get put on blood thinners yet. I hope I do not have to. In talking with the cardiologist I was told I have a slow heartbeat. The two new meds reduce the heart rate. I was told by the cardiologist that if my heart rate slows too severely I will have to have a pace maker to insure it keeps on a ticking. One of the interesting things is that a real slow rate is not a number, but is how you react. If you start having troubles rising from a seated position, or bending makes you dizzy or pass out, then that is too low a number.

None of this is doom or gloom. However, it is indicative of the aging process and I am very aware of that. So my heart is in actuality strong and will last a lifetime. It just needs some help. In the meantime my brain is dealing with another issue that marks the passage of time and the appearance of finality. Darn, darn, darn.

How do you describe? Part II

2009-08-08T13:25:00.003-05:00

OK, a couple of days have passed and I have my wits about me. Two weeks ago lying under my truck sanding some electrical connections I had to tilt my head severely back and to the right to be able to examine the contacts I was cleaning through my bifocals. The minute that I did that I had instant dizziness and nausea. I got out from under the truck, staggered around for a few minutes while the dizziness passed and then sat for a couple of hours until the sick stomach sensation passed, then completed the job.

Friday morning I got up from a sound sleep to go to the bathroom and had the episode I described in the earlier blog. Friday night I did not experience any dizziness except when I rolled from one side to the other. I often start out on my left side then roll to my right when I really want to go to sleep. Moving 180 degrees caused a momentary spat of dizziness that passed about as quickly as it came. It was disturbing.

This morning I walked with the dogs for 40 minutes, no problem. I had thoughts of going to an Urgent Care Clinic run by the Doctor's Clinic Terry and I go to. Before doing so I remembered my brother-in-law Chap has had vertigo problems for many years. So I called him and visited about his condition. Seems like he often gets up in the night, aims for an open door and misses. He does nothing for the condition. He also told of a next door neighbor, just 50, who had a bout of severe vertigo that disabled her from work for a period of time. She is fine now. The reason I was checking was because I recall that when I had a severe episode of vertigo years ago that put me in the hospital the Neurosurgeon that came in to examine me for a possible stroke told me that a simple head tilting exercise would help keep vertigo in check and that other than that there was not much they could do other than surgery and that is a last resort because there is a hearing loss associated with that procedure.

So I did some internet checking and came across some information that detailed exactly what I had done, tilting the head back severely and experiencing some dizziness. Like the old story about the Dr. who was told by a patient that it hurts when he raises his arm told the patient, then don't do that. That was essentially the advice from the article. Be careful of head position if you are susceptible to this form of vertigo called BPPV. The treatment prescribed is a set of exercises and it usually goes away in several weeks, the exercises may speed the cessation of symptoms.

So, I decided not to go to the clinic and waste some money on what I already knew. I feel fine. I did some of those exercises this noon and determine it is my right ear as that is the side I get dizzy on when I do these exercises. In addition, that is the position I had my head cocked when the problem first came on. So on to other things. If it does persist for several weeks or more I will have it checked out. For now, I've other more important things to do.

How do you describe?

2009-08-07T03:15:00.003-05:00

I woke up at 2:30 AM this morning and had to use the bathroom. As I walked to the facility I all of a sudden lurched forward as though I was going to fall on my face. I did not feel dizzy, but I did feel disoriented. After going to the bathroom I returned to bed and lay down. All of a sudden I became disoriented again, in the new position. Once again I was able to focus on objects, it was not like the room was spinning, but I did feel a little queasy. I got up again and did some head exercises a Dr. had told me about that consist of bending your head from one side then to the other so your inner ear mechanism that contributes to balance gets some exercise. I then stood on one leg with arms outstretched and held that position for half a minute, then the other leg. It is kind of a balance check. I kept having to flex my foot to stay upright, but I was able to maintain that position for a while. In the meantime you get scared.

Strokes can cause that disorientation. My brother Dean suffered a stroke while playing golf. His golfing partner told of the episode that when they got to the locker room at the country club Dean complained of seeing double. Some days later he passed away. My family has a history of strokes so I end up with some fear there. However, I also have a slow heart beat. Yesterday for example when I was in Wal*Mart I used the BP cuff and got a reading of 133/78 but my pulse was 58. The Cardiologist I have seen has told me that some day I may need a pace maker because of that slow heart beat. I have for a long time staggered from time to time when I rise from a prone position to upright, and have been a little unsteady on my feet once and a while, but not too often. My dad, in his later years, talked about walking like a drunken man from time to time, but didn't suffer any ill effects. Still one worries.

I came downstairs to just sit and get stabilized. I seem OK as I write this and my vision is not blurred nor do I feel lightheaded. Jenny, I know you will read this but I am typing this more for a record than anything else, so don't get upset or feel you have to call, although I do enjoy talking to you any time and look forward to hearing your voice.

I also know that people do have equilibrium issues over the years and live just fine. I have a problem with I want to feel perfect and when I don't I begin imagining which is not good for me. I really do feel I'm in pretty good health, I am due for a check up later this summer and will make sure I bring up this episode to the Dr., but I don't know what to make of things now. Perhaps I just sat up too fast and that caused some reaction, because I do feel normal sitting here typing.

As my Dad once told me years ago, sometimes you just can't let things bother you. You have to just go on because that is how life is. It isn't the same for every person. So I'm going back to bed and have a good rest.

She-it!!!

2009-07-31T08:59:00.002-05:00

A young man who works for me is facing a terrible time. He is in his mid-30's, married with one child 2 years old and a baby on the way due in October. His children are his life, pictures abound his office, we are bombarded with pictures of his wife and daughter, almost ad nauseum.

Many months ago he was diagnosed with a growth in his abdomen that doctors felt was more of a cyst than anything and attached no importance to it other than they told him when he was ready they would surgically remove it for him. He was in no hurry but felt it should get taken care of sometime soon.

When his wife became pregnant for the second time he felt he would like to have the little issue behind him before the arrival of #2. So he scheduled the surgery. During the course of the pre-op work up a small mass was found at the base of his esophagus as it enters his stomach. In addition, a suspected tumor was discovered in his shoulder. Some more tests indicated the small mass at the base of his esophagus was cancerous, but had not spread to the underlying tissue so a resection of the esophagus would fix that. In the meantime during a pet scan they found a spot on his liver. A second CT scan with a dye enhancement did not find the spot on his liver, so one test said yes, another said no. They decided to do a needle biopsy of the tumor in his shoulder. They said the CT scan indicated some calcification, so being a local professional wrestler in his youth he felt he had injured his shoulder so often that it was probably some form of scar tissue.

The test came back, no it was also cancerous. At first they felt that it was two different types of cancer both localized. Late last week they found that the cancerous polyp in his esophagus and the tumor in his shoulder were the same cancer, so metastisis had taken place.

He is supposed to begin a chemotherapy regime next week with the intention of shrinking the tumor in his shoulder and esophagus, then at some future time he will undergo surgery to remove the two growths from the sites.

Today he is having a liver sonogram to find out if there is something there or not, after all one test was positive, one negative. They are doing a echocardiogram to ascertain the strength of his heart as the chemo does do some heart damage and they want to know if his heart will withstand the side effects. They are also going to do a brain scan to determine whether or not there is another problem area.

He and I talked yesterday. The odd thing is he has no symptoms. The doctors are puzzled because each tumor by itself they would diagnose as a Stage 1 cancer with a fairly high level of success in treatment. However, two locations indicated metastisis take the cancer to a Stage 4 with a survival rate of one year or more at less than 5%. So on the one hand the doctors are confused because they feel he should be having some symptoms, yet he has none. They have not ruled out the liver yet, and we shall have to see what the brain scan indicates. I hope and pray his will be OK. He has too much going for him, his family is in growth, and his wife is a very emotional person anyway. Right now his attitude is he will be OK. However, I also know that in the dark of night when everyone else is asleep your eyes pop open and you begin to wonder. You begin to speculate and of course your mind turns to dark thoughts. It is scary. I am scared for him.

I do not know how I will act if the news isn't good. I've had people I've known die of cancer, my mother died of breast cancer. However she was in the hospital two weeks before she died and I was stationed in El Paso, TX at the time so I did not see her during the waning days of her life. I know I will be positive and strong for this young man. He is a good guy and I hope he turns out OK.

Oh yeah, the cyst in his abdomen. It was an infection, they have finally found the right combination of antibiotics and the cyst is about gone. Perhaps God put it there so they'd find the other stuff.

Golf is played by humans

2009-07-19T15:58:00.003-05:00

Sometimes the miraculous golf shots of Tiger Woods become expected. What creative, courageous shot can he pull of to salvage par, a birdie, or the tournament. This year's British Open did not have Tiger in the final field. Yet an old man taught us about humanity. Who would ever have thought that Tom Watson would take the lead on the first day of play and then relinquish it on the final putt on the final hole. Who would've thought in this day of weight lifting, chiseled athletes playing the refined game call golf and old man would hold sway.

I am proud of the way Tom Watson played. I am proud in the style with which he accepted the loss. He is a true champion, even more so now than in his hey-day. Tom proved that age is only a barrier if you let it be. Tom proved that even the aging can summon the ghosts of the past and relieve the excitement and the elation of the competition.

I am sure many professional sports writers will say a man of that age shouldn't be competitive. I am sure they may even say that the sport suffered because an old man could be competitive in such an event as the British Open. I say they are wrong. I say that on this day the true character of a man was on display for all to see. I contend that he faced odds few of us encounter and over came those odds to the very end when perhaps age did play a part in adding to the pressure of that final putt. Some may say it is a shame, he came so close. I say Tom Watson proved that the human condition is magnificent, that on a given day from the ashes of age rose a man who overcame and while he didn't triumph on the course his spirit triumphed on a day of wind and sun to show us again the reason we are such unique beings.

What do you say?

2009-07-17T08:16:00.002-05:00

A young man, in his 30's has been found to have esophageal cancer. He has had a cyst or some sort of growth in his abdominal region for several years, but it was not felt to be dangerous so he postponed surgery. Finally he decided to have the cyst or growth removed. During pre-0p testing they found a small mass at the base of his esophagus and did a test on that. Polyps were discovered and they turned out to be cancerous, however according to the CBT they had not penetrated the underlying tissue so it was felt removal would be all that was necessary. He was encouraged by the news.

However, the Dr.'s wanted to do a PET scan to see if there was anything else. The PET scan revealed a spot on his liver and in his shoulder. He now has to go in to have a needle biopsy of the liver spot. He should find out the results on Monday. If it is cancer they will refer him to a specialist in Memphis, Little Rock, or St. Louis, his choice. If it is not cancer they will check out the shoulder, however he has a history of shoulder injury and it is felt that that object is either scar tissue or a bone spur as it appears calcified. If that checks out he will have surgery on the esophagus August 31.

Seems like a lot of problems cropping up and at his age. In addition he and his wife have a two year old daughter and his wife is pregnant with their second child. A pretty hefty load to bear.

So, what do you say? I just focus on the process, try not to worry too much although from my own experience that is just about impossible, and be upbeat about his outcome. In the meantime I keep up the work requirement because he needs some means of relieving the stress in his mind. I do hope that all is well. He is a good guy and valuable employee.

The Price of Aggravation

2009-07-06T08:40:00.004-05:00

During our ice storm clean up last spring I suffered a small cut in my right rear lawn tractor tire. It resulted in a slow air leak that would leave the tire soft after a couple of days. I used some tire plugs to try and plug the leak but because it was a cut I couldn't stop the leak completely. So I decided that instead of having the leak repaired I would simply air up the tire when I need the tractor using my trusty old air compressor. I did this for about four or five months. However it was an aggravation to back my tractor up to the garage, start the compressor and air up the tire. It didn't take long, but I do like convenience.

This Saturday I decided to see if I could get the tire fixed, or replaced. I have suffered enough aggravation. The end result was I took it to a tire repair center where they put a tube in the tire for me. Now the tire maintains pressure and the problem is solved for now. The cost was $20.50 to have a new tube mounted in the tire. Now one has to wonder, how much is my time worth? Insurance companies and the IRS say my time is worth zero, zip, nada. So then how much to fire up the compressor, a few cents, lets say $0.05, that means I could could air up my tire 410 times before I spent $20.50. If I used the tractor twice a week that means I could go 205 weeks before I hit break even. Almost four years before I reached the cost of having a tube installed, and I still have an old tire. Hmmm, what price aggravation???

The measure of a fine lady

2009-07-04T11:15:00.003-05:00

We now are the owners of two fine Labrador pups. They are basically white in color, although the hair along their backs does have a yellow tinge to it. Terry brought them home from her mother's. I was not against the idea of having dogs again, and I had even thought that if we had dogs I would want two so they kept each other company. I just wasn't ready at this time, and was caught off guard. For the first month or so it seemed like taking care of them basically fell on me and I began to resent the time commitment when I have so many other things to do. Terry seemed to stand off a little bit, helped a little in feeding them and seeing that they had water down, but other than that I seemed to have the bulk of the work. I must admit I had thoughts that this didn't seem fair.

However, change was in the offing. A few weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night and realized the lights were on in the house and Terry was up. Normally, I get up in the middle of the night and let the dogs out to potty so they don't soil their sleeping area. This night Terry was going to let me rest while she dealt with the dogs. If I get up in the night to take the dogs out I just go out in a pair of flip flops and my sleep shorts, no shirt, no bug dope, just get up and go. I could hear Terry moving about but wasn't sure what was going on so I got up in case she needed help. I walked into her dressing closet and her she was struggling into jeans, had a long sleeve shirt on and was going to take the dogs out. She was upset with me for getting up as she wanted me to have a good night's sleep. God Bless her.

Last week we had some serious discussion about the pups being too much for us to handle and we should look for a home for them. Both of us agreed that they are good dogs, very loving and well mannered for how young they are. We kind of agreed that we should continue to try to get them controlled and work through their adolescent period. Perhaps! That evening Terry said she was aware she was not pulling her share of the load and took over the evenings chores of walking the pups, taking them out for the evening bathroom stroll and I should stay in and relax.

She made the mistake of not leashing them. For some reason I am gaining control over their actions with my voice, Terry is not. It was a hot evening, still in the 90's. All of a sudden the door opened, this intense yet disheveled woman came in and slumped in the kitchen table chair. The dogs had seen a neighbor's pet rabbit and chased it. Terry had gone after the dogs and could not get them to come home. Finally she picked up Molly and carried her back home, some several hundred yards. The dogs now weigh in the 30's and Terry is not a physically strong woman so it took all of her determination to carry that dog home. Where one dog goes, so goes the other so Lily follow Terry and Molly home. Terry was hot, beat, sweaty, thirsty, all of the things that cause her discomfort that she so detests. But, she made it. She had swung her weight, and even though she perspired, which she dislikes, and lacked strength she brought the dogs home, and got them in the house without too much incident.

That effort and partnership is the measure of a fine lady. I did not know the difficulty she was having otherwise I would've gone outside and helped. But she would not have wanted that, and I am proud of her, grateful for her love, and love her all the more for her effort.

WTF W/Politicos

2009-06-24T19:44:00.002-05:00

A senator apologizes to his colleagues because he had an affair. A Governor apologizes for an unannounced trip to Argentina to see a person he is having and affair with. Time after time politicians overstep their boundaries and commit adultery then when caught apologize to all they've hurt, yet they don't step down. How farrogant. They should resign. They should be recalled, they should be drummed out of the damned Congress, State Government, or wherever else those assholes make a living. Shame on the electorate for tolerating their lame excuses.

The Vagaries of a Bug's Life

2009-06-16T14:07:00.003-05:00

Jeesus Christ, I get into the most ridiculous situations. Here I am at work. I have to go to the bathroom. So, I'm sitting peacefully on the throne surveying my kingdom when a small millipede encroaches on my territory. The bathroom has a tile floor and is quite clean, you don't think I'd go in anything else do you?

Anyway, the bug is approaching my shoe. Instead of stomping on it I moved it to one side. It curled into a ball, a purely protective move, and lay still for 15 or 20 seconds. Then it's little antennae started twitching and pretty soon it is trying to turn itself over as it is on its back. The bug has an oval shaped shell that makes it kind of like a turtle trying to right itself after having been turned over. The problem is the tile floor is too smooth for the bug to gain a foothold to turn itself over, so there it struggles.

Now I start to reflect on the bug's life. What a predicament! There it was, minding it's own business going on a trek across a vast expanse of tile. Then all of a sudden its on its back and can't get turned over, oh dear, oh dear! I start to think about its existence. What if I stomped it? Will it know eternity, is there a bug heaven? Does it deserve to go there? Does it deserve such an ignoble death as being stomped upon by a person sitting on a commode? What is an honorable death for a bug? Battle? Fending off vile predators so it can go home and nurture its baby bugs? What the hell am I thinking???

In a fit of remorse I try to right it with my index finger. All it does in roll itself into a ball and become defensive. So I am obliged to wait another 15 -20 seconds until it's faint passes and it's antennae twitch to see if it is on the right side. Nope! Still on its back, waving its multiple feet like a little accordion player who has no accordion to play.

Now I get inventive. I tear off a sheet of toilet paper and place it on the floor next to the bug. I think maybe it will now have something to grasp and be able to right itself. Now my mind is thinking, once righted I can smoosh it and wouldn't that be the ultimate frustration, killed after having succeeded in getting to its feet. Gees!

In placing the sheet of toilet paper next to the bug I caused it to faint again. I guess you can imagine sitting on the floor and all of a sudden out of nowhere comes this gigantic sheet of something and plops down next to you without warning. Maybe we'd faint too.

Now I have to wait another 15-20 seconds while the bug recovers. My ass is getting sore. Pretty soon the antennae twitch and sure enough the bug grasps the edge of the toilet paper and pulls itself right side up. Now the edge of the toilet paper looms as an immense obstacle so the bug sits. Finally I quickly slide the toilet paper away from the bug which causes the bug to faint again. For Christ's sake!!!

My ass is now sore enough that I get up and tower over the bug like some immense figure. At last I have gained the stature to which I think I was entitled all along. Having zipped up my pants I continue to wait. Sure enough the bug comes around again and this time is on its many feet. It slowly turns, turns some more, turns a little more and then starts off headed directly at me. I can't stand it any more. I have given this bug humanity and now I have the sense that it is lurching toward me with its two front feet outstretched crying Daaadddddy as it heads towards its savior. I can't squash it now, it is beholden and appears to have loyalty.

I unlock the door and leave, the bug still heading in the direction I had been. So passes and insignificant moment.

Flush Rush

2009-05-30T10:37:00.004-05:00

Sonia Sotomayor is our latest nominee for the Supreme Court. Immediately Rush Limbaughger Cheese attacks reverse racism, or how the hell is it reverse, the term is just racism. That's like people using the word irregardless, it is just regardless no "ir" prefix. The guy is just a fidiot. Yeah, lets attack her, someone with impeccable qualifications. Perhaps her past decisions might yield a clue about her future renderings, but past history is not a predictor when it comes to Supreme court rulings. Retiring Justice Souter was nominated because of his conservative nature and turned out to be a liberal on the court.

So the Senate should do a good job of questioning her. I've read the text of her so called faux paux on the role of the Apellate Court and she is actually correct in her statement. The interpretation of the constitution does alter law over time. Who would have ever thought the Supreme Court would use the clause on the control of interstate commerce to prosecute a person for raping a person along side a federal "I" system highway in the Southeast. In fact, that was the argument the Supreme Court supported to allow the federal government to try a rapist when he had been found not guilty in state court. Of course court ruling expand, interprete and alter the original intent of our constitution, yet it provides frameworks for those ruling and hopefully our courts don't get too far afield.

I say question Ms. Sotomayor, insure she is qualified, then approve her. In the meantime, Flush Rush!!!

They finally got to me

2009-05-24T09:37:00.002-05:00

I try not to take too much extreme rhetoric to heart. I feel the size of the electorate and the views of our populace tend to moderate extremism. That said, some extreme talk really infuriates me. Two colleagues sent me a copy of a letter this week purported to be written by a Fourth Grade teacher in Missouri. I could barely read the letter without seeing red.

The letter is highly critical of President Obama, which I do not ordinarily mind. However this one derided Obama for bowing to the King of Saudi Arabia, for reaching out to Muslims, for allegedly saying that Americans provided aid to the world and doesn't Europe know how much we help rebuild them after WWII. A letter veiled in so called patriotism was nothing more than an extreme hate letter written by a teacher of our young minds, God help us.

Obviously this woman thinks that because we rebuilt the economies of France, Germany, Italy, but she left out Japan after WWII we should be viewed as some great savior country. The fact is we would not have had the tremendous economic expansion if we had not created overseas markets to take out goods. The real mistake we made was greed. Instead of listening to the people who had fashioned quality standards that made our military superior in WWII we took the attitude of get it out ASAP and damn the consequences so all kinds of quality procedures that had been built into the military procurement methods were abandoned. We produced goods, but even in our own country the quality image of our manufactures became a joke.

In the meantime countries who had long histories of craftsmanship and quality, plus Japan who learned from the Americans who had helped establish the quality procedures during the war listened and learned and eventually took markets away from us. We founded the electronics industry, it went offshore. We founded mass production of automobiles, we allowed offshore competition to make huge inroads into our auto industry until it is on the verge of collapse today. Our position was here, these are goods made by the great and wonderful U.S. Take them, pay us, and bow to our superiority. It didn't take long until they shoved our superiority up our ass.

This woman goes on to criticize Obama for bowing to a Saudi King. It could've been a head nod. Regardless, it seems to me that we need to reach out to someone in the Mideast. I've nodded my head in recognition of someone, even a slight bow is a sign of respect not subordination.

This woman then goes on to say how dare President Obama reach out to Muslims, doesn't he know that this country is founded on the Judeo-Christian ethic. There's an idea. First this country was founded on the principles of independence, independence to choose and act in a manner that we choose. People who came to this country also came to escape religious persecution, which means you have to freedom to practice any religion you choose. Now as to the idea that we were founded on the Judeo-Christian ethic, there a good idea. In the middle ages some of the worst atrocities and most cruel actions were initiated by good Christians trying to liberate Jeruselam. Our J-C Ethic allowed people to go to church on Sunday and bid at auction on slaves on Monday without batting an eye. Our J-C Ethic permited the wholesale slaughter of Native Americans and subjugated them so thoroughly they have not recovered to this day. Some hate crimes are committed by overzealous self-rightous defenders of the faith.

I do not agree with everything that President Obama is advocating. However, I do think it is time we reach out to our enemies. I think it is time to end the boycott of Cuba. I think it is time we actively pursue partnerships with our South American brothers. The economy is now global, our dependence on that global economy is very deep. We need to quit pursuing this holier than thou attitude and pursue friendship and building relationships with others in the world. There is that old saying, "Pride goeth before the Fall." That saying doesn't mean that pride disappears before the fall, it means that first come pride, then comes disaster. We can take pride in materials, pride in our materialism and stick it where the sun don't shine for all I care. I take pride in members of my family, my daughters, but I certainly don't think the sun rises and sets with them. This teacher in Missouri, if she really is a teacher should be fired before she inflicts any more self-rightous propaganda on her students.

New Walking Partners

2009-05-19T08:01:00.003-05:00

This morning I took our two new dogs, Molly and Lily on my morning walk. They stayed right with me for 30 minutes. I shortened my route so I did not have to go down near the road, Fairview Drive, which would be a possible danger for them. We did walk along Fairview at one point the the yard at our other property is elevated and the dogs are actually kind of hidden or some feet above Fairview so I do not feel they would get away from me. However as they spend time here and get familiar with our surroundings they may tend to wander, right now they stay close.

My morning walk is altered. Usually I start rather slow and as I loosen up my pace picks up and I find myself striding down the paths and over the yards. Today instead of stride, stride, stride in measured rhythm it was more step to the side, pick up a foot, shove, kick, half step, partially stumble, stride and so on. That will improve as they become familiar with the territory and who knows I may end up having to leave them home. Right now it is fun to watch them sniff, snoop, and ponder their new surroundings.

We did come to the realization that we were underfeeding them. The bowls we used held a cup of food and that is what they got morning and evening. Reading the label on the bag we realized they should be having at least double that measure so we brought out larger bowls and now they have plump round bellies. As I write they are both asleep on the floor of the living room, stuffed and resting after a 30 minute walk and a sumptuous breakfast. Can't help but admire their trust and lifestyle. Me, I have to go to work.

An Answer to Abortion

2009-05-17T09:13:00.003-05:00

A dear friend sent me an email from another friend who is a strong Catholic. In his short essay he made the case for praying for President Obama and other like minded persons to change their mind about Pro Choice and swing toward Pro Life. I disagree. I replied in that vein to my dear friend. I then received a reply that while he hates to see a child brought into a loveless life, or hates to see an unwanted child potentially ruin a young woman's life he decries man playing God.

So I have an answer. We are a democracy. Lets vote in our society that science shall develop an infertility method that renders males impotent and sterile, and females unable to produce eggs and also sterile. Then when proof of insurance, stability of income, and stability of emotional behavior are demonstrated, after age 25 the effects are reversed and they are able to bear young. Then the Pro Lifers would be satisfied, and the Pro Choice people would be satisfied. Abortions could be done away with by lack of necessity rather than making it a moral choice.

Welcome to 1984.

New Additions

2009-05-16T06:11:00.004-05:00

Last Sunday, May 3 was Mother's Day. Terry called her Mom to wish her a good day and tell her that she was planning on taking a day trip to Hardy, AR to visit her. At the time she learned that her mother had taken in two Yellow Lab pups who had made their way to her doorstep in the midst of a terrible thunder storm. They were bedraggled and frightened. Terry's mother's home is not set up to handle a pair of pups. It is an old trailer with little accommodations and they already have an aging Border Collie who didn't cotton to the pups. The situation was not a good one.

Terry asked if we didn't need a couple of dogs. I was not prepared for that event, however I also know that Terry likes to have some company around if I'm not here. I left the decision up to her.

Monday, Terry brought the pups home. Two very cute Yellow Lab pups. Her Mother had asked neighbors if anyone had some dogs run away, and no one came asking if anyone saw some pups. This was for over a week. So Terry felt like whoever had the pups wasn't really looking for them.

Now we have two rambunctious, rolly polly, pups. I judge them to be about 4 months old. Right now I think that they are pretty pure in their breeding. Their color seems to be white. I don't know if they will darken over time, but they are obviously sisters. Now things have to be picked up, things have to be moved and toys added to accommodate the fact that pups learn by tasting and chewing. There is competition between them. Even though they each have a chew bone when one is chewing on a bone the other wants it even though there is an unoccupied bone. They are surprisingly well behaved. At night we put them in the main bathroom and for the most part they spend a quiet night. I am thankful for that. We do have some urine to clean up in the morning, and one morning one of them had pottyed in the room. However, they do seem to have the idea that going outside is where they are supposed to go.

We have decided to name them. One will be Lily, they other will be Molly. So welcome to the family Lily and Molly. May you have a good, long life and provide us with companionship we enjoy.

Wallering in a Waller book

2009-05-05T06:58:00.003-05:00

Robert James Waller wrote the book "The Bridges of Madison County." I just finished another of his books titled "The Long Night of Winchell Dear." I read it in a day, actually I read it in about 5 hours. I tried to read it slowly and enjoy the different descriptive style Mr. Waller employs. I did not succeed. I would not characterize his book as gripping or deep, although some of the quotes used make one think. One quote struck me, but I can't say I make much sense of it, here it is: "So my nephew, listen to me and know my words: In the high desert, Time is an old, sly rider, a bandit of legend who will seal your days and take your woman and be smiling down at you as He boards the evening train." Hmmm!!!

I recommend the book."The Long Night of Winchell Dear" is an easy read. It is a pleasant book to while away some hours. It takes a number of characters somewhat unknown to each other yet with pasts and present that will intertwine and have an impact on each other. It causes a change of direction in the main character Winchell Dear who probably embodies the characteristics we would all dream about but would not undertake. The action part of the book takes place in the last couple of pages and is over almost as an after thought, yet central to the theme. It is an interesting book, I recommend it.

Will Republicans Recover

2009-05-04T05:43:00.004-05:00

My Father was a Republican in a Democratic county. He used to jokingly say that Alger County should be in Georgia. Republican's did not have much of a say in Michigan at the time. However, raised in a Republican home I eventually did adopt the ideals of the party, I thought.

I used to think that the GOP stood for individual rights, minimal government interference in our private business, lower taxes, and individual accountability. Somewhere the party got hijacked. Somewhere we picked up this so called religious right or moral majority (after the last election a misnomer if I ever heard one.) All of a sudden we want to pass laws that violate what I believe to be a fundamental constitutional philosophy of the separation of church and state. Now we want to pass laws that forbid freedom of choice, we want to Christianize our country which I believe flies in the face of religious freedom.

I am working my way through the Federalist Papers. The "papers" provide insight into the arguments and intentions of the framers of our constitution. They do not refer to the growth of a federal government as being a goal of the constitution. In fact other than regulating commerce, limited taxation making treaties, and providing for the common defense most other issues are left to the states.

Yet here we are with the Republicans on the run. A group of party leaders are going around the country participating in town meetings to hear what the people have to say. My concern is that so much rhetoric has been blasted at us by the bombastic conservative talk show hosts that all that will show up at the town hall meetings will be persons who want to further the aims of that small but vocal part of the party.

I tend to be a fiscal conservative. I believe in individual rights and accountability. I believe that people should stand on their own and that public support programs should only be used in times of need and are not entitlements. I believe that government interference in our lives should be limited. I further believe that government should be transparent, I reject the hawkish designs of the former administration. It is people like Dick Cheney, and Karl Rove, with their secrets and designs that will result in catastrophe for our society.

The world is changing, more rapidly than many are capable of dealing with. We should have dialogue with all countries. We should remove the sanctions against many countries, particularly Cuba. Hell, we've supported dictators and tyrants in the past. The fear of communism as a viable means of providing economic equality to all is an unworkable dream in the fashion of the cold war. It is time to get on with establishing a true new world relationship. We are in danger of making our country irrelevant.

I hope the GOP is able to refashion itself, however I don't think it will.

Republican Party

2009-04-29T17:29:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure I believe in the old two-party system Republican and Democrat. Either party seems to be a blend of the other. The democrats were tax and spend, today they are spending a great deal, but I'm not sure they have a choice. The Republicans used to stand for individual rights, now they want to tell women they have no choice, they want to tell gays they have no rights. It seems the the Moral Majority, which it isn't, wants to dictate, rule, and subjugate citizens to some moral code that flies in the face of reality. I've always admired the strength of the Catholic religion. I have always thought the Pope foolish, abstain, do not practice safe sex. We're fouling the nest here for cripes sake. It seems that passing legislation that outlaws abortion flies in the face of a fundamental precept of Christianity, free will. They get down on their knees and get up and go into bars.

I am so disappointed in the Republican party. They seem to be populated and lead by a bunch of braying asses who seem to enjoy showing their keen wit and how they can shout down their opponent as opposed to providing stimulating conversation that will broaden and enhance decisions that may make life better. I say Flush Rush. He smells like Limbaughger Cheese. Arlen Specter changed parties for no other reason that to try to save his political skin. Isn't that what politicians do. Term limits prevent that outlandish maneuver. I say term limit them all. That is a movement I would get behind and I wish we could get it through the several states. Remove the "good old boys and gals." Lets get fresh stuff, then before it festers and molders replace it with more fresh stuff. I could handle that idea.

State Farm Insurance

2009-04-29T12:32:00.003-05:00

I cannot give you an endorsement, nor can I be critical of State Farm. I have never had a homeowners claim in my life, and I've had several car accidents, but those were years ago. I do know that my treatment during my recent experience has been excellent.
We've had a mobile home, a manufactured home is the parlance, for 17 plus years just out the back door of our log cabin. It was purchased when Terry and I got married to provide a home for her kids as our log cabin was not large enough. It has been empty for a number of years now and provides a refuge for Terry when I'm watching football in the fall, or for me if Terry's into one of her old movies I'm not into. Guests stay in the trailer as it has two nice bedrooms and provides a significant amount of privacy and comfort for those infrequent visitors.

My daughter Jenny and Granddaughter Lindsey last stayed in the trailer over Easter weekend earlier in April. Several weeks before their visit I had replaced the kitchen faucet and had installed a new type of connection fitting. I didn't like the fitting. It is a compression type and I saw no positive restraint to the pvc supply hose, however I got it to work and it held for about a month until sometime in the middle of the night.

I woke this morning, 4/29/09 at 5 AM and headed downstairs to make coffee. I heard a loud gushing sound that was not rain. I opened the back door and heard the water pouring out of the trailer. I know right away what had happened. I shut the water off to the trailer and came back in and made coffee. Terry got up and we started to move stuff and vacuum up water using an old shop vac that I've had for some 35 years. The little vac sucked up water quite well. However, when I shut the vac off to empty it I discovered it had two little leaks in the bottom from years of use. As long as the vacuum was on the water stayed in. As soon as I shut the water off it gushed out. Terry emptied the cupboards. Then she found her floor scrubber and used that to suck up water from the kitchen.

I went to Lowe's and bought a new shop vac that would just about suck up the world. Then I called State Farm. The local agent's office was closed, however I got a message center that logged in my information and entered a claim number for me. Since that time the service has been excellent. Jason, the State Farm rep provided me with the name of a "mitigation" service that is here now tearing out carpeting and flooring to dry the place out. State Farm will pick that tab up, less my deductible of course. The adjuster should be out in a few days to evaluate the damage and then we will go from there.

Some tips about homeowners insurance for a manufactured home. Homes over 5 years old will not be insured for replacement value. State Farm will only pay off on the cash value of the home. However, I greatly underestimated the value of my home. I had thought it would be just a couple of thousand dollars. I did an little internet search and found some mobile homes that were older than mine and were for sale for $10-15K. The value of my policy is $29K. I thought about canceling the policy at first, but then I thought about reducing the policy down to an estimated cash value. I did neither. As a result, State Farm will make repairs to the home in the amount of the insure value, not the cash value. So it looks like I will get new flooring, carpeting, etc for the cost of my deductible.

This does leave one with a quandary. I've been paying over $500 annually for the insurance. I've felt that it was over priced for a trailer, excuse me, manufactured home. I had to maintain the insurance as the trailer was part of the collateral on my property for mortgage purposes. When I paid off the property I was considering canceling the policy. In fact, I had told my insurance agency to go ahead and cancel it. Then, as an after thought I realized I had a home equity line of credit with the property as the collateral. So I called the insurance agency and left a message because I did not know if I had to carry insurance for the line of credit. As a result, the lady I work with at the agency did not execute the cancellation order. Whew!

The other quandary though is, should you maintain your insurance policy at a higher value than the cash value of the trailer? It does not make good business sense, and I'm not sure I still understand the philosophy of State Farm that says if the trailer is destroyed they will pay off cash value, but if repaired they will pay of the face value of the policy. Regardless, I'm very happy no action was taken on the policy. It looks like we will come out OK.

I would say State Farm has done a good job and I appreciate it.

UAW Woes

2009-04-28T05:27:00.003-05:00

To listen to the automotive unions you'd think their members were being disenfranchised. I do believe that the realization has set in that the lucrative, draining contracts the UAW built into the automotive industry are no longer viable. I have a lot of experience with the UAW. The workforce in plants I've worked in for 25 years were represented by the UAW. Their philosophy and gains that they achieved in the automotive industry were also part of the agriculture industry. Just imagine, a person gets laid off from his job and receives supplemental pay that amounts to 95% of his average hourly earnings while unemployed. I call that vacation. Just how long did the members think that golden goose would lays its eggs, and how can you say you deserve such largess for no effort.

The vast majority of Americans do not have the benefits the automotive industry employees enjoy. It is not an entitlement. Mismanagement, union pressure and the economy have exposed the iceberg. The heat of the economy is melting it down. Frankly, the rest of us Americans will be better off if the competitive pressures in the system are allowed to function and the market readjusts its level of consumption and forces prices down. People will get hurt in the short run but that is the system that works best to prevent excess waste and erosion of will. Don't feel too bad for those automotive people, after all just how long do you think life lasts?

Shut Up Cheney

2009-04-21T19:44:00.002-05:00

I am a Republican. Dick Cheney disgusts me. Shut up Dick, go chase spot, see Jane run. Quit acting like an idiot, it simply serves to confirm the obvious, you are.

A Classical Gas

2009-04-21T18:32:00.003-05:00

There is a song from the "Big Band" days called Night Train. It has some oowaa trombones in it. This morning cooking breakfast I let a fart that had that perfect oowaa sound. It made me think of the song Night Train, which immediately led me to Dick "Night Train" Lane a defensive back for the Detroit Lions back in the 50's and early 60's. He was a fearsome player and loved the song thereby coming to the nickname of "Night Train" Lane. It is strange where a fart can take you.

Miss USA Contest

2009-04-20T14:10:00.002-05:00

I just read where Miss California has been criticized for her comments about gay marriage. I read her comments. She clearly stated she did not mean to offend anyone but she was raised to believe that marriage is just between a man and a woman. It is a shame that this person cannot express her beliefs without criticism. I support gay rights, without question. However, I also support an individual's right to believe in a manner that may be different than mine. As long as those beliefs do not harm me or tamper with my life then people can have a belief system I would not adopt. Yet this person was criticized for what the article states were her personal beliefs. Shame on our society for condeming persons for standing for their values system.

Extremes have one thing in common

2009-04-18T19:51:00.002-05:00

Recently an extremely conservative South Carolina TEA party booed a congressman from that state for voting for the "bailout" bill. He was booed constantly and loudly for the entire time he tried to speak. Extreme liberals have derided so called conservatives and booed them loudly and vehemently trying to shout down different ideas and fixating on humiliating those who disagree with their point of view.

They all have one thing in common: They are all asses!

Good Things

2009-04-18T11:47:00.004-05:00

Susan Boyle, need I say more. I've watched that video half a dozen times. I've read the stories on CNN about her. She is a whole lot more intelligent that we give her credit for. Her reason for singing the song she did on the British version of American Idol was it played to her wish to become a professional singer. Her frumpy look and awkward mannerisms make her an endearing character and I hope she never loses that. She also said on Larry King yesterday, that she does not feel like she will experience loneliness anymore. I hope she doesn't. I hope she gets a recording contract. I will buy a CD just to support her and her pluck. Way to go Susan!!!

Fear Rules

2009-04-18T11:19:00.002-05:00

Some months ago I was reading a report by an organization that tracks first mortgages, not first time mortgages, but mortgages on our primary residence. At the time there were roughly 51 Million first mortgages outstanding, of which about 3.4 Million were at risk or in foreclosure. That is less than 10%. I thought then, that if these mortgages were folded into the investment instruments that are considered toxic, then the exposure to the investor is really minimal, unless most of the bad mortgages ended up in one investment security which would be unlikely. The rule that forced investment firms to write down their investments should they be considered excessively risky was not a good rule, and I believe the government has rescinded that rule. Regardless, the investments supporting the underlying debt load were too bad.

What became bad was when financial institutions were forced to write down these securities as the housing bubble burst. The balance sheets of our largest financial institutions, not only in this country, but around the world became suspect and then began the run. So what about now?

Yes, foreclosures have gone up dramatically. There are several reasons, one is that mortgages were approved for people who were poor credit risks. Another reason is that as the home values plummeted in some areas people became upside down on their mortgages and could not get refinanced because they were now a credit risk, the underlying collateral didn't support the loan value, and banks were unwilling to take a hit on the value of the mortgage so no refinancing was available to those who needed it. There were those unscrupulous firms and/or persons who rushed loans through, committed fraud and deception, or out right lied to persons wanting to buy a home and got high risk mortgages approved. We still fall for the lure of "easy" money.

I have long maintained that our economy is in trouble because of perception. A lot of the jobs that have disappeared should've, real estate brokers, mortgage originators, financial analysts and securities brokers. I think a whole bunch of other spongers should be gotten rid of and the idea of actually working and creating objects of value be reinstated.

There are signs the economy is turning. I do hope the overvalued homes have shaken out, although I have a feeling home prices have not fallen enough yet. However, home sales have started to perk up. Yes, many of the homes being bought are foreclosures being snapped up for investment or by those who can afford the distressed prices. To build the strength of our economy on the practice of building newer and more expensive homes to replace smaller and very adequate homes simply to service a life style is not sound economy. It has to stop someplace, and perhaps it did. It was not the majority of the population that put our economy in the toilet, it was the minority and they should be accountable, instead we all pay.

Bunch of bullshit if you ask me.

Federalist Papers

2009-04-02T03:55:00.004-05:00

I am struggling through the Federalist Papers. I've been at it off and on for about a year. There are over eighty letters each describing some facet of the proposed Constitution of the United States some 230 years ago. It is a project I wanted to do for a long time. I have felt we, Americans, do not study or know much about the roots of out country. I've read a history book about the Revolutionary War and now am tackling the Federalist Papers. It is a daunting task. I am not accustomed to the language and legalistic arguments used. The way ideas are expressed seem a little grandiose and are difficult for me to follow. I have a hard time staying with the thoughts being expressed as they tend to be arguments used to explain the intent of the document creators in the development of the Constitution. I read one letter and I can't recall the content. I am getting the general impression of things but the effort is taxing. I may read a few letters over the course of several evenings, then put it down for a month while I read for entertainment. However, I am determined to push my way through and I hope then to study the material a little to see if I can grasp the intent a little more firmly.

At this point I am convinced the Federal Government has grown in way and size never intended by the framers of the constitution. It is also evident that the state legislators were intended to elect the President and the Senate, the Legislature was the only body to be directly elected by the people. I don't know if that arrangement would've been workable over the long haul and perhaps the evolution of direct election of all of those offices would be too much to hope for, but it is clear that the will of the people is paramount. This is not the case today.

I shall continue my quest. I am only one man and must admit my ability to influence the political animal that towers over us is minimal, but I do believe that the citizenry of this country have an obligation to be informed, aware, and involved in our political process. I do not feel that is the situation today, and we are paying for it by a Congress that is bloated with special interests and does not reflect the will of the people.

Legalize drugs, hell ----- Yes!

2009-03-31T14:47:00.003-05:00

I'll bet my kids would think I would say no. Not now, not given the mess we've made of things in our society. Parents shirk parental duty in teaching their children about the opportunities and pitfalls life holds for them. Unfortunately I ended up teaching my kids by example. However taking control of drugs, reduces the need for crime, reduces the need for accessibility. Use the money saved to mount education, get parents involved, learn again the concept of neighborhood and I have a feeling we will reduce the horrendous impact drugs are having on our society. Drugs are prevalent in other countries, but why does the U.S. seem to have such a huge problem?

However, when the large majority of Americans support social reform, why do our politicians act as though they aren't responsible to the will of the people. I do not hold out great hope for this shift in our society, but I think it is the right thing to do. Legalize drugs - Hell yes.

Some countries seem to handle societal issues with a more enlightened approach than America. Could it be the so called moral majority's retarded concept of how to deal with society's issues.

What is going on?

2009-03-24T04:09:00.004-05:00

Yesterday driving back from work I met a small caravan of three pickup trucks hauling three new grain augers to some destination. At the corner of Highway C & N and U.S. 412 a farmer has his equipment sheds. Many times there are vehicles or equipment for sale on his property and they seem to move pretty well. Yesterday he had a fairly new John Deere cotton picker for sale and a Module Maker beside it. I wondered if he was getting out of the business or had he upgraded to a new piece of equipment I started to see in this area last year which is a combination cotton picker module maker made by both Deere and Case. Sure enough, there back in one of the equipment sheds sat a great big new John Deere picker with the module maker extension on the back end. So he upgraded.

A friend who is a John Deere dealer here in Paragould had let his inventory of equipment drop to very low levels last fall. When I talked to him about that he said he was very uncomfortable to see his inventory that low, but he had to do it from and economic standpoint. This spring driving past his dealership I see his lot is chuck full of new combines, pickers and sprayers. Big stuff, high ticket items. Now that could be because Deere is making incentives available to dealers that allow them to obtain large amounts of inventory, but Deere has been in this game for many years and knows the danger in artificially generating sales. Case damn near went bust of that issue back in the 70's.

Bo Adams, a very rich man who owns 48,000 acres of prime delta land is propping up his farm renters by forgoing rent charges. He will take a piece of the action at harvest time, but he will weather the storm.

My cousin Maureen who is a loan originator in California is back at work full time instead of one day a week a month ago. The low mortgage rates are stimulating all kinds of refinancing activity. Used home sales were up over 5% last month when experts predicted a fall. Even though much of the activity was in foreclosed homes I take that as a price adjustment to an over inflate housing values in the market as opposed to any other sign. The Real Estate boards aren't going to admit to an inflated market. They are a bunch of parasites as responsible for driving the price of homes up by 6% for every transaction along with the forces of greed that operated in house flipping strategies. In many large markets in this country everyone was forced into paying inflated prices for homes because of these forces.

So what does all this say to me. I think the economy has made its adjustment. There may be some more downward swings, and perhaps our little sample of what's going on is not correct. I just don't get the feel we are living in as desperate times as some pundits make out to be.

Times are a-changing

2009-03-14T08:47:00.003-05:00

Some mixed signals lately in the economy. The saving rate has risen from almost zero in fact we had a few months of a negative saving rate to 5%. That seems like a phenomenal change. Retail sales were better than expected in February, although negative if you take out the impact of home sales there was actually growth. The government says that January retail was better than originally estimated. GM reported an increase in cash due to cost cutting that means they will not be taking a $2 Billion loan from the government they originally thought they would. The stock market had four "up" days in a row. One major bank reported the possibility of a profitable quarter in the first quarter of this year.

Is not the time to dump some money into the stock market? Hmmm!!! Is the economy really as bad as all the pundits say it is or are they over stating their argument to make sure necessary steps to reinvigorate the economy are being taken? Will we simply ignore the bank disaster and skirt the issue? I do not doubt that there must be a major shift in the housing market. I believe that in many areas property values are based on perception and not actual value. For those of us who do not live in California it is hard for me to see why a 3 bedroom home on a city lot with a bath and a half should be worth $500K. I realize that location makes a difference, but with the improvements in communication and the move to working from remote locations does that not spell a decline in property values for those areas now viewed as central to conducting one's business? I hope there is a readjustment. The values our society seems to be willing to pay are too high in my mind and contribute to the larger view that money has value beyond the purchase of subsistence.

What Woud I Have Done?

2009-03-13T11:18:00.002-05:00

Bernie Madoff is in jail. Good! The extent of his crime is not known, it is in the billions, but who knows what the final tally will be or if it will ever be determined? What we do know is that many people, charities and rich friends are severely damaged or even financially ruined. Shame on Bernie. He said he is sorry as he plead guilty to 11 counts of criminal activity. Bernie will also perhaps spend the rest of his life in prison, and he should.

Yet what do experts tell us about investing? Keep a balanced portfolio. Now mine is not, however I accept that my investments are 401 (k) type with reputable firms. So many of Bernie's victims violated one of the basic rules of investing.

Don't you think a steady return level of above 40% would send up the old warning flag of "if it seems too good to be true it probably is." Yet, one of the funds I am invested in had an over 100% return back in the dot com bubble, but then so were a lot of tech funds achieving unheard of results. I should've been smarter to move my money earlier before dot com tanked. However, I think a steady diet of above 40% returns would've made my timbers shiver.

In the end, there is a likely possibility that had I invested with Madoff I would've stayed in the game. There are stories of people networking with those who knew Bernie so they could put in a good word and maybe Bernie would take them on. Holy smokes, people actually standing in line to be fleeced.

We can blame old Bernie for his dastardly deed. Don't the victims also bear some shame for allowing greed to blind them to what appeared to be "easy money." Even worse, what would I have done?

Creative Destruction

2009-03-08T07:08:00.003-05:00

Economists talk about a concept they call "creative destruction." Essentially it says that cyclical movement in the economy does not lend itself well to evolution. As a society (race) we seem to like to maintain a comfort zone and resist change, yet forces far beyond our control force change upon us. The greater the change, the greater the upheaval. The NY Times recently published an article that talks about the severe and sudden job loss as being a harbinger of a fundamental economic shift in the U.S. Perhaps not only in the U.S. but the world. I graduated with a BA in Economics. I am not an economist, I do not pretend to know the models used by economists in trying to understand market forces. However one thing I do remember is that all of the economic models I studied did not function well in extreme conditions. There was always a tendency that moderation seemed to work best. The current economy is due an adjustment. The extremes in this economy generated by an overheated housing market, lack of restraint in money creation, and our focus on technology moved our economy to an extreme edge that is simply not sustainable.

Now comes creative destruction. The old will be destroyed. The automotive market in the U.S. must under go fundamental change. If another plant opens to produce SUV', large vans, or these tricked out pick'em up trucks we have not learned our lesson. GM is facing bankruptcy and frankly I think it should be allowed to go bankrupt. It will generate huge "creative destruction" forces in the U.S. as parts suppliers are suddenly put into severe production under capacity situations. The market will have to adjust. People will be hurt, those who husband their resources and are capable of doing for themselves will survive. Others who rode the wave without a foundation will founder. So it is with the nature of things.

I say bring it on. I'm excited to see what happens. I hope I live long enough to see a fundamental shift away from gadget technology, away from over priced homes and under supported lending institutions, I hope to see a strong move toward alternate forms of energy. I do not like governement interference because the fundamental purpose of government is to preserve the status quo. I do not believe the government will be able to stem the tidal forces about to over take us because the world is involved and there is now a player in the world with more economic clout than the U.S., namely China. We cannot act solely in our best interests, and perhaps this is a step that will start us down the road to world peace. Otherwise it will end in world war and the destruction of mankind will result in either case, from the consumption of all of our resources or we will blow ourselves to smitherens.

Just Tain't Fair

2009-03-06T10:19:00.003-06:00

The recent bailout on mortgages is irritating. I bought my property in Arkansas in 1988. I've paid on it for a little over 20 years which includes one refinancing for additional funds to do some fixing up. In March of 2009 I will make the final payment. I've been through some difficult times where both my wife and I were laid off at the same time and had to finance living with credit cards. I've had some good times where I had a job for 18 months that eliminated the debt I'd accumulated during our unemployed times. I have pushed hard to pay down on our mortgage, so we could pay it off early, mainly because in a few years I am going to retire and it is part of retirement strategy to have those kinds of expenses gone.

Now, persons who bought a home in a bad market and are upside down on their value are going to get bailed out. People who's mortgage is greater than 31% of the gross income are going to get a deal. Bullshit!

The market forces operate pretty effectively rewarding those who are both lucky or diligent and punishing those who are foolish or unlucky. Market forces aren't fair, no one has ever said they were, but propping up the market can make the volatility even more erratic. This bailout is tantamount to providing loser insurance to those who frequent casinos. I'll have worked hard to pay my mortgage off, but I'll not bow my head because some government entity had to bail my ass out. I got myself into trouble, I've gotten myself out of trouble. It still angers though to see some who were not wise in their efforts or tried to catch a market on the way up are getting bailed out. It would be painful, but the market should be left to adjust itself.

What the fis going on?

2009-03-04T20:05:00.005-06:00

An article in our local paper today talks about the increase in gun sales, ammunition sales and a big increase in concealed weapons permits that started about two weeks before the election last fall. A local gun dealer is reporting a hard time keeping up with the demand. WTFIGO? Are we just nuts in the country. We are worried over the economy so the poor shall become criminals and that means the guy down the road has designs on my property. Is Obama going to bring retribution on whites? Are we just goddamn idiots?

It is true that criminal activity in the form of theft go up as the economy goes bad. But experts say that a bad economy generates more interest in flea markets, pawnshops, and the secondary economy where stolen goods can be sold. The increase in market potential usually spells increased activity by persons already engaged in crime, not new criminals coming into that endeavor.

I don't understand. Like what are we going to do, shoot Halloween trick or treaters who approach our property for fear of unrest in society. Then we wonder where the anti-gun lobby gets its traction. Guns are not toilet paper, they blow someone's ass away not wipe it. Maybe I should buy stock in Remington or Winchester, I might make a killing.

Foraging and Other Opportunites

2009-02-24T04:38:00.003-06:00

Ice Storm 2009 Cont'd
After we found our way to our home the first order of business was to get the generator going and some hot coffee to sip on while we discussed the first tasks to be performed. We found a radio and got it going so we could hear about the outside world. It became apparent that we would be without power for some time so we began to work with the idea that we needed to regain our comfort level and get some normalcy back into our life.

The first thing was to reconnoiter our drive to see what chance we had in gaining access. It turned out that our neighbors at the beginning of our driveway had bolt cutters and cut the downed power lines removing them from blocking the driveway. Jointly we began removing limbs, cutting downed tree trunks and cleared the driveway so it became passable. Within an hour we could drive up to the house.

The next thing was to get heat. The little propane heater in the bathroom would not heat the house. I had purchased a high efficiency propane heater that put out about 24,000 BTU's several years ago. We had taken out our wood burning stove and I wanted something for back up. It was not installed, but I had it sitting in a corner of the living room. So off to Lowe's to get fittings and get heat in the house. As usual when you are unaccustomed to hooking up a stove you purchase the wrong things, to many fittings, not the right size and all kinds of stuff. Lowe's was open I believe the had a generator system. I struggled with the hook up, late in the day I found out that my neighbor had worked for a propane company for ten years in his early days. He came over and within 20 minutes had the stove hooked up and we had fire. Fire, Wilson, look what I have created!

That was about all that got accomplished the first day of recovery. Terry provided support, kept the coffee hot and made food to eat. Nothing was open, we had food for a few days. I was not worried about provisions at this point. We were not isolated, we had freezers full of food, and heat and water. What else does a person need.

It was interesting to watch the behavior of people. There were no D batteries to be found anywhere. Lanterns were gone off the shelves, candles were gone, people were not well prepared and were scavenging what they could. I found it interesting that men were buying up mixing oil for chain saws and bar oil for the chains. I had no interest in that stuff. The time will come when I will need those items but not for some time. Right now heat and comfort were the most important items.

People stopped, talked about the event. Everyone was discussing what they had heard, what damage had been done, where you could find lamp oil, or batteries, or generators. Lowe's did a booming business in generators. They sent truck loads in, were having residents call in order and generator, get a number and show up at the store at an appointed time to pick up their generator when it arrived. Those things are not cheap yet people were lined up. Some enterprising people brought in truck loads of generators selling them off the back of the truck in Lowe's parking lot. Lowe's asked them to move so they went to Rotary Park, the local softball diamond complex. They sold out and were in town for several days replenishing and selling. Must've made a mint.

In the meantime, my concern now drew to getting propane. I had 20 lb bottles we used for our gas grill and it appeared we got about 12 hours off a bottle. I had three bottles and finding a propane station open was tough. I did find one Friday night and had a bottle with me for refill so we got into Saturday. What I really wanted to do was tap into a propane line from my big tank outside. I have a 250 gallon tank that supplies my hot water heater and the small propane heater in the bathroom. Now if I could run a line and tap into that gs line I would not have to forage for LP.

Saturday morning I filled two 20 lb tanks and felt I could make Monday. However, once again my next door neighbor Eddie came through. He came and looked, told me what I needed, a length of copper tubing, some flare fitting and he would help with the rest. I found a gas shutoff valve behind the dryer, apparantly for a gas dryer hook up, we had electric. So we could tap into the line there. I had a long drill, drilled a hole through the log wall and fed the line through the hole. Eddie had flaring tools and came and did that part. I made the hook ups and within a half and hour on Saturday we had the gas heater hooked into the main tank outside. That was a relief. Getting propane in small 20 lb tanks was not looking like and easy task.

The heater performed well. It had no blower, so the heat warmed the place by gravity. The downstairs would get to the high 60's, comfortable, although it was a little cool along the floor. The loft bedroom up stairs was hot, really hot. The first night we stayed in the house we had put extra blankets and a comforter on the bed. Sometime in the night we shed that stuff and soon slept under a sheet and were still warm. It sure was better than the alternative.

Form follows function so engineers say. So the first few days were simply getting heat, getting some semblance of comfort and constantly assessing what we were doing, what was going on and basing our actions on those assessments. More to come.

Ice Storm Thoughts Cont'd

2009-02-23T07:03:00.003-06:00

Well, Terry made it home Monday evening, the day the ice began to accumulate. The prediction was for the weather to remain just at freezing for Tuesday night, it was expected to cool some more as Wednesday morning approached and then the moisture should change to snow. It is the first time I ever recall the south collectively looking forward to snow.

We spent Tuesday night at Tracy's again. It was simply raining too much to try and do anything around the property. I moved the cars from the garage driveway and pulled them down closer to the house where there are fewer trees that could fall on them. It turns out to be a good thing because a section of a pine tree came down right where my pickup truck and Ford Focus were sitting. I don't know which one of them would've been hit, but one of them would've gotten clobbered. The pine was maybe 50 feet long, but it was about twelve inches across at the base.

We spent Tuesday gathering things, planning on what our next steps should be and then went to Tracy's to spend Tuesday evening. Tuesday night was when the major part of the damage took place. The rain increased and we could hear the booming and crashing all around us while at Tracy's. She does not have the extensive woods near her home like Terry and I do so I can imagine what it must've sounded like in our cabin. I talked to our neighbor Eddie the next day and he said it was downright scary.

We had left our cat Al at home because the cabin is a pretty well constructed building and there are very few large trees nearby. Even if the trees fell on the home I did not feel the structural integrity of the cabin would be compromised. So Al got to hear the booming and crashing Tuesday evening.

Wednesday morning, January 29 was sunny. It was chilly, but clear. The ice in the trees looked magnificent. Each twig, each branch, each pine needle was heavily coated and in the sun light glinted with the hint of artist crystal. The radio spoke of many roads and streets blocked, travel was difficult and people were warned to stay indoors and warm. For both Terry and I there was the strong desire to get to our home. It had nothing to do with braving the elements or taking chances, but we've lived in that home since were married in 1991 and it is our refuge. So we had breakfast, drank coffee and debated what to do. The only contact we had was radio and one station in Jonesboro was broadcasting nothing but news of the storm. They were receiving calls from all around Northeast Arkansas and putting emergency officials on the air to report on their area. The Sheriff of Greene County, our county. had warned of numerous road blockages and really urged people to stay put. Of course we didn't.

Fortunately the roads were not icy. We did have the snowfall predicted, perhaps a half to an inch, but the streets were OK if you took your time and eased along. As we drove the ten miles toward our cabin in the woods I mentally reviewed our options. I could think of five different routes we could take to get to our home, but thought be most direct offered the greatest chance of success. It tends to be fairly open with no trees crowding the roadway so I thought it had the best chance of being passable.

Coming into Paragould, no traffic lights were functioning. State law says if a traffic light is not functioning motorists are to treat the crossing as though it were a four way stop. We went through seven lights and never saw a violation. Every car we encountered at an intersection stopped and acted as though it were a four-way stop. I was proud of my fellow travelers.

We drove without incident to our private drive. Here is where we encountered the first difficulty. The power lines were down and hanging about a foot off the ground, blocking our entrance. There was no room to pull off the road and 22nd Street just a hundred yards before our turn also was blocked by power lines. We drove ahead about 2 tenths of a mile to the driveway of our rent home. That to was blocked, but there was enough of an entry that we could park off Fairview Road and not block traffic.

We walked up the driveway of the people who lived next door to our rent home and crossed over to our land some distance up the driveway. The damage was amazing. Tall trees once standing proudly in the weather were bowed, some bowed so bad that their tops touch the ground. Wood isn't supposed to be able to do that. In many cases it couldn't and simply broke. Tops of trees were strewn everywhere. When we started to walk a path we maintain between our home and the rent home it was impassable. So, off through the woods we went. What is normally a two or three minute on the path turned out to be a twenty minute trek through a wasteland of timber.

I took pictures, but they do not do the landscape justice. It was beautiful, everything ice coated and in the sunlight twinkled with reflected light. However, trees 50 and 60 feet tall were now in many cases stripped of their branches and looked like gigantic spears ready to impale some hapless victim should he/she fall from the sky. The ground was a tangle of broken branches, limbs and large limbs leaning precariously on trunks of other trees. It was like a maze. Sometimes we had to walk away from our home to find a pathway toward our home.

Finally we broke through to the yard and our home stood bathed in sunlight looking cold and forlorn, but home nonetheless. There was a trunk of a tree across the driveway where the day before my pickup and small car had been parked. My yard tractor was buried in debris. My new to me, chore tractor was hidden under heavy cedar limbs hanging over the tractor. It would be several day before I could get the tractor out of its cedar bough prison.

We were home. The devastation was extensive. There was no damage to the home, but the surrounding land looked like the aftermath of a artillery bombardment during war time. Terry and I came into the house. Al surrounded us. I don't know how one cat can surround you, but she did. We had running water as were are on city water. Our toilets worked because we have a septic system. We have one small propane heater in the bathroom that we lit so at least we had a place to come to to get some warmth.

One of the first tasks I under took was to haul the new generator I had purchased months ago down to the porch and see if I could get it running. I had not run it in some time. It is heavy, but lugging planks to act as a ramp to get it up to the porch and using my little manual air pump to inflate soft tires I got it the hundred or so feet to the porch. It took a little bit, but it fired up and soon I had a couple of extension cords running into the house through the front door and we had the coffee pot on. Terry and I dearly love our coffee and that was a very successful moment when we heard the heater warm the water for our first cupa.

With heater lit, coffee made and refrigerator plugged in our thoughts turned to what tasks we should undertake to deal with out situation. Tree limbs and trees still groaned and broke under the weight of the ice. I did go out and take a number of pictures. The ice would stay today, but the weather was to get into the 40's on Thursday and this crystalline scene would melt away. I wanted to make sure I had a record of what our home area looked like.

That is enough for now. My next effort will be to describe how we become foragers and deal with the challenges of making life comfortable.

Ice Storm Thoughts

2009-02-16T11:12:00.002-06:00

I made a small shopping trip today. First to Lowe's to buy some washers and a lock washer to fit the trailer hitch on my small tractor. I have my utility trailer hooked up to my tractor to carry brush to the edge of the drive where it will be picked up. Then I stopped at a gas station to refill my two empty gas cans. I now have 15 gallons on hand, although to be honest I don't expect a repeat of what we had at the end of January.

On to Wal*Mart. I would like to buy some more Coleman lamp fuel, but it is $8.97 a gallon right now and I'm unwilling to pay that much. I'll probably break down sometime before next winter, but not right now. Upon checking out I did see a woman with four Coleman propane fuel tanks for the propane lantern Coleman markets. I've thought about getting one, but think I'll rely on the older version.

I did see one persona at Lowe's loading what appeared to be a generator into the back of a pick up. I hoped he didn't have trouble. Lowe's had one lone generator for sale in the aisle by lawn and garden. I hope if finds a home, but I hope we don't need it for many years. In the meantime my thoughts are about putting things away and getting things ready for the next event. I think I'd better change oil in the generator. Such thought occupy my time now.

Well, I'm Back

2009-02-15T19:22:00.003-06:00

It has been some time. We've been through an interesting time. The first hint of trouble came Monday, January 26 when CNN reported parts of Oklahoma were declared a disaster area due to an ice storm. I watched the radar and could see a huge system stretching from northern Texas all the way to Ohio. There were three distinct bands, the south side of the band was green, rain. The middle section was pink, ice & sleet. The northern band was blue, snow. It was a little difficult to tell which way the storm was moving, it appeared that we might be on the fringe that received rain.

It was not to be. As the storm moved into our area the ice came over us. Just south, perhaps 30 to 50 miles was rain. To the east it rained. We started getting ice build up on Tuesday January 27. I was home because the weather report predicted ice and I did not want to travel cross country in an ice storm. You could see the ice begin to build up on the trees. About noon I heard my first tree branch crack and fall. About every minute or so you could hear a crack, a whooshing noise then a thud. I was watching the storm and we were in a very intense pink band. It became obvious that we were going to be in trouble. I watched the map and we were just buried. At 2:30 PM I was typing a short message to my family on the internet when boom, down went the power. It flickered once then all was quiet.

The first impulse is to wait. Perhaps the power will come on at any moment. In the meantime crraackk, whoosh, crash picked up and became relentless. The crack was the branch or limb breaking. The whoosh was the ice crystals cascading down, and the thud was the object hitting the ground. The house began to cool off, not bad, but no electricity means no cooking, no reading and no nothing. We are lucky, we have propane for hot water, and a small heater in the bathroom. However, we abandoned the house for our daughter Tracy's. She had propane heat and warmth. We spent the first night there.

I had walked the driveway four times clearing limbs so Terry could get up the drive. Little did we know that when we left Tuesday night the worst was yet to come. That's another story.

Thoughts on the economy

2009-01-26T07:28:00.003-06:00

Like many I am somewhat worried about the economy. I've seen my retirement fund shrink by almost half and am only two years away from 66. I probably won't retire when I hit 66 as I really enjoy the job I have, and I doubt if the market will recover that fast. There are many younger than I who are worried about the turn of events in our politics. I tend to be fiscally conservative but socially progressive. Frankly, the Republicans have screwed up their chance. I find the imposition of morality being fought for by the Religious Right to be divisive and out of context with our Constitution. Jesus once said, render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and render unto God that which is God's. I take that to mean God will take care of the moral issues, we need to attend to the secular issues. I am citing ideas that I may or may not necessarily agree with, but it religious teachings also say man has free will. Isn't the imposition of moral values by making them laws of the land an infringement on my free will. I realize that society has to set up some rules to govern our behavior, however it should not infringe upon my personal values to the extent that a decision that effects my person requires government approval. I may face a horrible illness, I should be able to choose my means of dealing with that. A woman or couple may face a personal dilemma that in the short term may lead to a decision one or both may regret later, such as abortion, but they will have to deal with that when the time comes.

I find Republican criticism of Obama to be correct. John McCain made a statement that essentially said, he will not rubber stamp Obama's plans. That is correct. Debate furthers the quality of the decision. However, there comes a point when debate serves no more purpose and any further fighting is just delaying the decision. I hope the Republicans can exert some wisdom in being the party of opposition.

It seems to me that this so called stimulus package will result in a one time tax rebate similar to last year. Many democrats are arguing that the tax rebate did not impact the economy because it was used to offset debt or saved. No shit! I saved mine. It will be spent this year on new flooring for our bedroom, when I get ready to lay the floor. In the meantime I would spent the tax rebate if it showed up in my paycheck twice a month. The $1200 I got last years would've been a $50 per pay period increase in my wages. I would've spent that. The idea of the stimulus is to spend money, yet the democrats seem to object to a tax cut that impacts the paycheck because tax rates would have to be lowered. The "tax and spend" party would not want to be associated with a tax cut, heavens. Yet we'll spend on projects that may hit the ground in a couple of years, in the meantime lets just bitch about it. By then the natural forces of recovery will begin to act and the public works may not be needed.

I wish both parties would show some "Statesmanship" instead of the petty political bickering that has already started. Nancy Pelosi is a lightening rod and would do a lot more good taking the upper road, but I do not think she is inclined to do that. The "Commonweal" is not her bag, get back at, is. Shame on her.

There are some amazing stories out there

2009-01-22T08:21:00.002-06:00

I am not a fan of Kurt Warner's, quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals. I've followed his career and he has times of greatness and then other times he just seemed to be a workman football players. However, read the attached link. Perhaps you've seen it. The story is quite remarkable and speaks of a person who walks to a different drummer. His stock rose a great deal in my eyes.

http://www.snopes.com/glurge/warner.asp

A Remarkable Event

2009-01-20T04:00:00.004-06:00

I came through the sixties. I graduated from high school in 1962. I recall the Kennedy Era, as short lived as it was. I remember LBJ signing civil rights legislation. I was too young to appreciate the impact and too isolated to understand segregation. I do remember seeing the attacks by police in southern cities on the peaceful demonstrators. I was shocked, angered, and embarrassed that citizens could not get along. I participated in civil rights discussions in college and always had a kind of naive misunderstanding about why should we grant Negroes rights under the law when they already had them. I did not understand a lot.

Part of my education as an adult was to develop an understanding. It did not change my feeling that we are all equal, not just under our law, but under the laws of nature. So today, January 20, 2009 is not a complete surprise. The swearing in of citizen Obama as our president is the justification for all of the demonstrations, all of the physical pain and psychological torment endured in the name of freedom. It is also natural. It is not just a coming of age of the black race, it is a coming of age of all American citizens.

I do not agree with much of his political agenda, or at least the means he ascribes to accomplish economic recovery. I do agree that he is the best man at this time for the job. I do not recall the presidential process creating such excitement in the electorate since JFK. Thank goodness we haven't attached any labels like Camelot to the start of the Obama administration. Right now, he is winning high marks from many people, six months from now we shall see. I wish him well, he seems like a good man.

Barny fFrank

2009-01-14T15:47:00.004-06:00

I admire Barney Frank. He's gay. He has had to over come a lot to become the Congressman who seems to have transcended his sexual orientation and become a spokesman for the liberal left. However, he is one of the makers of the crisis we are in. The roots of the credit disaster can be found in the Clinton administration when the lending fair practices bill was passed and the administration and liberal members of Congress began advocating loosening up the credit standards so poor constituents could buy a home. Now to listen to Mr. Frank it is strictly mea culpa, and the bogeyman is in truth George Bush. Yes, Mr. Bush should've had someone paying attention and minding the store, but couldn't Mr. Frank have helped when things began to go awry and the bubble was starting to build?

Now, Mr. Frank wants part of the new stimulus program to go toward reducing the principle of loans that are in default. Is that guy great or what? I've worked much of my life to pay down on my home loan, it will be paid off in two months. I've forgone things I might really enjoy so my wife and I can retire and not be saddled by debt. Now the government is going to reduce the principle for people who should never have qualified for a loan in the first place. Do I feel like an ass. Should've joined the soup line years ago.

Turkey Italian Sausage

2009-01-12T20:55:00.001-06:00

Yuck, blech, tastes like shit. Don't want no more.

Two Year Anniversay

2009-01-10T03:56:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, January 9, 2009 marks two years since I had bowel resection surgery. I had written a long piece concerning my experience in home recovery after bowel resection and I Googled that topic this morning, the essay was in the number one position on the first page of the Google sort. According to my daughters that means for that topic it receives the most "hits." I have no idea as I do not have a counter, nor do I receive replies. However, over the two years I have had about four people send me emails appreciating my communication. The essay is quite graphic and direct, but reflects information I wanted to know during recovery.

How is life now, two years after?

It is OK. I went through a period of losing weight, on purpose mind you. I walked an hour a day, watched what I ate and had the outcome of having a physician pronounce my Diabetic II diagnosis resolved. I reduced my blood pressure medications to one. I reduced my cholesterol medication to one. I did go through a scary episode of irregular heartbeats but learned to live with them and have gotten off all medication that I was on for a mis-diagnosis of atrial fibrillation. So one might say the benefits of the surgery to remove a cancerous polyp went far beyond being cancer free.

I am disappointed in myself at the current time. I have put back on 30 pounds of the 60 pounds I took off. I walk several times a week instead of daily. I wouldn't mind the reduced exercise if I could keep the weight off. I worry about getting myself back into type II Diabetes and having to get back on medication. Yet I find myself almost mindlessly stuffing my face with sweets.

Health-wise I seem to be doing well. My last check up indicated my cholesterol level was below 200, and the other cholesterol readings were all within the desired ranges. I will see my surgeon in about two weeks but don't expect anything other than you are doing well to be the outcome of that check up. The annual colonoscopy check on year after surgery was clear and the next check up will be this coming November. If this check up is OK then I will not need to be checked for five years. I did go through a small bowel obstruction episode in June 2008. That scared the hell out of me. Their appeared to be no reason for the obstruction, but it was a mentally defeating experience.

So how do I really feel. The surgical scars are fading. My bowels are beginning to act in what I feel are a normal fashion. I am somewhat surprised at the length of time and the feeling that healing is still going on. I have had bowel issues since surgery, not anything painful or scary, but issues with having to go numerous times along with not being able to have the sense of voiding completely so you felt like you had to go a few minutes after you went. More of an aggravation that an actual concern. I did have my gall bladder out nine months after bowel surgery. That has added to the digestive tract discomfort, although that seems to be getting better too.

For the most part I feel well. I have some muscle aches that are a little unnerving. They tend to be located along my rib cage on the right side in my back muscles. They don't hurt all of the time, but on occasion when I work outside they will cause me pain that might carry on for a day or two. I don't know whether to associate that with a side effect from surgery or just old age. Probably old age. The weight loss has allowed me to be more flexible and I am much more active in repairing things around the house much to the delight of my wife.

The psychological scars are also dimming, but I do find myself spending too much time thinking about things. The surgery, and the fact that a cancerous polyp was removed awakened the realization that I am going to die some day when I thought I had dealt with that issue and was comfortable with the idea. However, a dear friend of mine, a high school classmate I still stay in touch with expressed to me that thought is on his mind about his mortality. So perhaps it is a stage of life rather than some psychological impact of surgery. I am 64 years old and I am starting to see land on the horizon of this sea of life I've been crossing.

Most days are good. I do not walk around with a sick feeling like I did before surgery. I enjoy where I live and have been able to resurrect my interest in doing house repairs and projects. I have a great appreciation for keeping in contact with my two daughters, I find their lives to be of great interest to me and their welfare precious. Life is good, my wife and I still have jobs in this time of economic recession. Our home is almost paid for, and I've negotiated a good refinancing contract with the local bank on our investment property. I do not want for material items and can afford most of those items that fall into the category of "toys."

So there is life after surgery. I do not know that my internal worry meter is any greater today than it was several years ago. The passage of time seems to move at a quicker pace than my younger years, but that is OK too. I am thankful for the skill of the surgeon and the support of my family through this recovery period. I do not consider myself completely recovered because I still encounter or notice improvements or a settling down of my body's functions and actions. If anyone has followed my writing on this topic because they are going through the same things I wish them Godspeed and I hope their outcome is as successful as mine appears to be.

Credit Cards

2009-01-07T14:33:00.004-06:00

CNN runs a little poll on their home page every day. The question being polled may change once or twice a day. I just about always answer the question just to see how many are responding and what the sentiment is at the time. On January 7, 2009 the question is about credit card debt and has five categories to answer, first is I pay my credit cards off every month, second is less than $1000, third is less than $5000, fourth is less than $10,000 and the fifth alternative is more than $10,000. It is not an accurate poll, I understand that, but enough answer that there is some truth in the data.

This morning with 90,000 responding 49% paid their credit cards off monthly. However, the second largest category behind paying off monthly was more than $10,000 and 20% of the respondents fell into that category for about 18,000 respondents. I was surprised. This afternoon the number of respondents has increase to 180,000 and the percentages haven't changed. About 89,000 pay their credit cards off monthly, but 32,000 have over $10,000 in credit card debt. Wow! Think about the interest rate on that. Sounds like a racket to me.

My Wall

2009-01-03T20:15:00.004-06:00

Years ago we lost the back porch on our log cabin to rotten timbers. Since that time rain has taken it's toll and created wood rot that has necessitated major house repair. It is a simple process, grind away the rotten wood. Create a base, line the wall creating a false wall with treated 2 X 6's and then face the timbers with log facing recreating the log appearance. I have had this task for over three years and for some reason I have had a mental block against attacking the problem. I think it has to do with the magnitude of the task and the fact that you are fiddling with what I think is the structure of the house.

Well today I started rebuilding the wall. It was a lot easier than I thought, yet I've put it off for years. Now the relief is enormous and the feeling that I can get it done is overwhelming. I've enclosed some pictures that indicate the type of work I've done to date. I'll show finished when I get to that point.

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Israel vs. Hamas

2009-01-03T19:12:00.003-06:00

Several days ago I was made aware of Israel's attack on Gaza. An event that has little to do with my world. Except I am part of a large world and things that go on concern me. I was upset that Israel should attack the way they did, and felt that maybe our support of Israel is inappropriate.

However, I also don't believe in half-measures. I've long felt the disregard that middle Eastern society has for human life makes negotiated settlements very tenuous and probably not long lived. So something has to get their attention. A price so steep that there is greater incentive to live in peace and harmony than to fight. Annihilation could be such an incentive. I know it sounds extreme, but how many years have Arabs, both Israelis and Palestinians been slaughtering one another. No intervention by world powers, the U.N. or any force I know of has forced peace. So, lets get rid of them, both.

Or, let one or the other have at it with the intent that only one is left standing. That appears to be Israel's strategy right now, they invaded Gaza this afternoon. I say let them go in and clean out the rat's nest. They are warning people to get out, after an appropriate amount of time lower the hammer. Level the joint, nothing is left standing, no one is left alive. Make the price so steep that peace and harmony is necessary for survival.

I always thought the price for 911 was 5000 killed for every victim, I don't care about guilt, wipe out a country. Perhaps some crazed terrorists would come to realize that if they keep up there activities there will be no homeland to return to.

Just one man's thoughts.

Some lessons from the Holidays

2009-01-02T07:51:00.004-06:00

One: I love the scent of a pine/cedar tree. We have numerous pines and cedars on our property and I really enjoy walking near them sniffing that pine scent. One day last fall my wife asked what I was doing sticking my head in the middle of a very bushy cedar that grows in our yard. Caught in the act I had to confess that I was enjoying the scent of the tree. So last December I was scanning the Vermont Country Store catalog and saw a small log cabin incense burner that burned compressed cedar chip pellets. Thinking I would enjoy the odor of pine in the house I bought it and a small supply of pellets. WTF was I thinking? It does put forth a nice odor, that of burning wood. So I guess if you enjoy the pungent odor of wood smoke you got a winner. I still have to go stick my head in a tree to get the odor I want.

My youngest daughter who lives in Minneapolis sent us a pound of Caribou coffee for Christmas, That with other goodies, I don't want to leave the impression that she is a cheapskate. Anyway, when I talked with her about the gift the package said whole bean yet it was ground. Jenny told me that clerk asked when she ground it if we used a metal filter or paper filters, Jenny said paper, which is correct. When you compare the consistency of the custom ground coffee to that of commercial coffee there is a significant difference. The commercial coffee is coarse in texture to the custom ground.

Now my wife and I drink a lot of coffee. When we are both home all day it is not unusual for us to go through three to four pots of coffee. Being a heavy coffee drinker does not necessarily make me a connoisseur. We have our own grinder which can pulverize the beans into a fairly fine consistency, but not as fine as the coffee the Jenny sent us. I also noticed that I use about 30% less coffee grounds than commercial coffee to achieve what we deem to be that same taste. Thinking about that fact leads me to the scientific idea that being a more finely ground material more of the coffee bean is exposed to the water so more flavor is extracted than in a coarser ground.

We buy whole bean coffee, regularly and grind it fairly fine. I'll try to pay more attention. perhaps there is a savings to be had and still enjoy the same rich, robust flavor that coffee gives off.

Finally, having black eyed peas and hog jowl for dinner on New Year's Day and not having a gall bladder causes a damn near explosive condition. Last night lying in bed I woke myself up once the blast was so powerful. I'm sure had I been sitting on the ground it would've registered on the seismometer located on the campus of Arkansas State University in Jonesboro. The relief was wonderful, the noise deafening and those who know me know I enjoy a good fart. I think I'll have some leftovers today.

All in all it has been a good holiday season. Lessons have been learned that have value, but probably only to me. So let's start of this new year with a good cedar tree, a good cup of coffee and the explosive expulsion of all our sins.